Tell me you're a parent of a ND child without telling me...

have to lay out the clothes your DS aged 14 needs to wear to school every day and then doublecheck that they have not just put the clothes on over their pyjamas.

Finding clean knickers hidden under the bed because the ones he has been wearing 3 days are more comfortable.

Having to go to an autism-friendly hairdresser because he can't tolerate having his hair cut (and that only happens 3 times a year anyway) and you have been banned from the other hairdressers in the village- because he can't tolerate having his hair cut.

Having to write (after multiple school warnings) a formal e-mail to the school explaining that while laceup shoes might be part of the uniform he cannot use them due to dyspraxia and Velcro comes under 'reasonable adjustments'.

Having to explain to the school that the bloodstains they see on his shirts are because his current incarnation of pica is scratching his own skin and eating the skin flakes.

Having to tell your child (then aged 12) that he really can't (literally) eat his school library books. Or his socks. (TBH never a parenting issue i had forseen).

When I asked the dentist about this ( yep my son will only use the strawberry one) she said as long as it’s got 1400 fluoride it’s fine ( we are in the uk)

*He has multiple pairs of identical school trousers, but will only wear one pair.

*No wet or juicy foods - except fruit pouches.

*Step by step reminders for everything.

*His school bag has to be unpacked and repacked every morning, even though the contents are the same every day (school books kept at school)

Finding another family who gets it, and then one day your DC and their DC take against each other and can’t be in the same room anymore and you never get to see that family again

Or finding another family who gets it but then your DC becomes utterly obsessed with their DC and it all becomes way too intense and suffocating and you try to pull back to allow a bit of space which leads your DC to have massive meltdowns begging you upwards of 300 times a day to see the other DC and it’s all they can talk about and you can’t sleep at night worrying that they will grow up to become some sort of stalker. 🙁

I should have shares in chicken flavour super noodles.

I know every single word of the Big Bang theory.

Dear camhs, just because my dd is autistic doesn't mean I should accept that she self harms. I want help for her. And not yet more CBT that doesn't work for her. In fact it makes her feel like her feelings are invalidated and makes things worse.Do not send me on yet another parenting course that's actually not even appropriate for ND children.

One birthday party invite her whole school life.

I'm not the one who takes them to the dentist, but DH has never said that the dentist has asked / commented about the toothpaste choice!

Thanks both - dentists seems insistent on moving to an adult one, but not sure why. Have got some Waken brand from Amazon to try - it's strawberry and mint. Looks very posh 😀

Stop growling and hissing at Mrs Ryan please Ruari.

Put your lanyard on. What fidget do you want? Do you need the chewie?

DLA, EHCP, Pediatrician, assessment appointments/forms/deadlines/reviews coming out of my ears.

Violent meltdowns so far out of the realms of NT family life I think NT parents or NT children would be horrified. Probably still try to blame my parenting though!

SEN parent support groups.

Crying in the HT office.

CAMHS crisis team direct number.

Wishing life wasn't like this.

Yeah, we also have "onion rings" in the freezer (calamari) but she doesn't like onion rings and won't have any type of fish in the house due to the smell so they're onion rings for us.

We have red pasta and pink pasta as code for tomato pasta and spicy tomato pasta with gochujang paste and cream cheese. Because she doesn't like cream cheese unless it's in pink pasta or cucumber sandwiches, which must only be referred to as cucumber sandwiches.

Love her.

dh bought ds new shoes again, after his newest shoes lasted two weeks and now have a hole in the toe.he threw the new shoes across the room because they are lace ups and proceeded to cry for ten mins about how he doesn't like lace up shoes. he eats chicken nuggets for dinner every day. every single day. likes to listen to the same songs on repeat, the crazy frog phase nearly broke me 😂ds has to sit at the front with the bus driver on way to school so he can "keep an eye on him " according to dd2.

@Changeymchangerson there was a thread similar to this a while ago, where it seemed every other poster was having a breakdown/drinking neat gin/driving off a cliff (sometimes all 3!) owing to KCC, don't know if you were on it too!

With our battle, they refused to assess, which DD's current head called the most stupid decision she'd encountered in 25 years of teaching. Two years, two tribunals later, DD has been offered a place at a Special school so niche they take 3 kids a year from the entire county and beyond.

Now have to get KCC to agree the funding, so it'll be me drinking neat gin, having a breakdown at the edge of a cliff shortly!

He needs to wear a tie as part of the required school uniform; but hates wearing it around his neck as it's too restrictive etc.

He wears it around his head instead & asks the teachers to refer to him Donnatella

Yes MIL, I know dry rice crispies is a very boring breakfast. Yes I've offered him milk on them. He always says no, but he'll have a cup of milk alongside.

No MIL, please don't put the milk on the rice crispies anyway, it needs to be separate. He didn't eat breakfast at all for over 6 months, so please don't put him off this one, we've worked very hard at getting back to this point.

My ds is late teens now but I still remember the day when cbeebies changed the morning schedule. He couldn't go to nursery for a week.

When she was a baby she would cry if I put her in anything but a sleepsuit.

We also never have a meal out because of the sensory overload. The noise, the smell, the light, unfamiliar place, the wrong food (anything served would be wrong because it’s not home) etc.

It’s fucking exhausting but with sone perseverance and immense calm, I think we are getting through childhood ok now after a shaky start 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Dinner at 1830 promptly every night.

and no fish because fish are our friends. That one lasted four years - he finally caved last week which was an epic win for us.

Hearing “perhaps you just need to be a bit firmer with him then he’ll stop”

it’s a meltdown ffs…. if I tell him off it will escalate!!

We never have a meal out as we can't get a babysitter.

Adding lots of additional time to go anywhere as if we don't have a meltdown getting into the car there will be one when we get there involving getting in and out, throwing shoes, hitting and lots of crying.
The joy of transitions! Especially if we're going somewhere DD actually really likes.

I know Diary of a Wimpy kid audio books off by heart.... All of them. There's a lot. Not DDs listen to the same ones on repeat every night and after a few weeks change to a different one.
Also certain TV series, I don't watch TV with them as they're 10 and 12 but I know the storyline for many programmes that are years long 🤣

Tactics to wash hair, brush hair and try and minimise the screaming.

Not being able to walk up or down stairs before them.

Sitting next to beds at nighttime so they can go to sleep. Sometimes multiple times a night. Or of I let the youngest in having a child nearly as big as me try and sleep on top of me all night!

I'm sure there's more and sending love to everyone as many parents are dealing with a lot more than me ❤️❤️

Buying entire boxes of the same kind of pizza in Aldi as that's the only one DC eats, 4 times a week.

Knowing that the same pair of socks have been worn 10 times in a row and not really caring because at least they had a shower and are wearing socks and a clean shirt for school.

Having an excessive knowledge of star wars, all marvel films, all lego films, all lego set reference numbers, Hollywood actors and Saturday night live sketch references.

Knowing that one minute you'll be told to fuck off and the next you'll be told that you are the best mother in the world and given an absolutely massive bear hug. I mean literally one minute to the next some days after school.

@NorthernChinchilla I'm right here with you in regard to KCC - Absolutely horrendous! 💐

Oh that's so true here as well. Most of DS's nutritional needs come from vitamin tablets and Complan.

he came home after his year 7 residential telling me that more than half the students came down with food poisoning and added proudly; 'But I don't really eat food so I was fine, mum!!'.

The many hours spent between chemist & doctor trying to get meds - they know me by sight now! And then twice as long when he puts on weight & the dosage has to change (he's 13 & growing like a weed)!

The thrill when he's invited to his second ever birthday party that wasn't whole class 💙 Then panicking about whether laser quest will set off his epilepsy (it didn't!)