To ask if you have the same political views as your significant other?

With my husband, we typically agree on most issues. We aren’t in lockstep. When we disagree we know that we both do our research and make informed decisions so we enjoy a good healthy debate at the dinner table.

my parents are guilty of so much racism, sexism, and just general horribleness that I had to develop a policy of leaving if they continued to express their thoughts in front of my child.

Dh’s parents aren’t as extreme, mostly because they have other topics of conversation they prefer.

Yes, some things we have different views on but nothing wildly different. I don't think I could be with someone who had very different political views as I do

I think, broadly, yes. We tend to agree on most matters, especially the economy.
But I would never tell him how I vote, and I would never ask how he votes.
I'm not 100% sure that we voted the same on Brexit (maybe 90% sure), but it has never been an issue.
The whole point of living in a democracy is that it's absolutely fine to have different opinions. Just because we don't agree with a person's views doesn't mean we shouldn't respect their right to have those views.

Mostly yes. I'd think if we didn't have similar views our morals and beliefs would be in conflict with one another and couldn't imagine we'd be compatible.

We do at the moment and in the past (Labour and Lib Dem), but he wouldn’t rule out voting Tory across the spread of his life as he will always assess choices and the situation as and when it comes. Neither of us subscribe to the blanket opinion that ‘all Tory voters are scum’ and I get really exasperated when people do. I’ve never voted Tory but people are entitled to their choice and don’t believe it makes someone evil scum.

There is a trend to think that if someone holds views opposite to you they are somehow a bad person.
Right or left are not right and wrong just different.
My grandparents held opposing views, they were married for 60 years.
I am pretty left wing in most things, though not all. DH is pretty right wing in most things. There are some things we agree on. We've been together 47 years.

Political discussions are at least interesting because instead of just reinforcing each other we challenge and listen.

Yep, neither vote, they're all crooks.

See I’m quite suspicious of anybody who is ‘proudly right/left wing’, to me that’s more of a thoughtless badge they think will appeal to those they want to impress. It means ‘I ascribe to whatever the left/right view is without really considering it’ and means we end up with the mess of gender identity, Brexit and PIE.

You should think for yourself on each topic, not just leap into a camp because it’s part of your ‘tribe’.

Whole family is right wing except for a cousins daughter who became a socialist and who has decided to alienate herself from the family with poor behaviour and life choices which has meant we have all had to take a share of looking after her daughter and helping to raise her whilst her mother often neglects her then begs us all to help which we do as despite her awful beliefs and behaviour we do love her.

I couldn't imagine being married to someone who didn't share similar views on how human rights/the environment/social justice and society as a whole should be organised.

We're both lefties yes, and broadly aligned on most major political/ethical points. This is really important to me - one of the deciding factors in leaving my ex (who was also physically and emotionally abusive and an all round dick) was finding he'd voted for UKIP. He's a Polish non-skilled immigrant. Literally voting against himself. Thick, prejudiced twat.

While DH and I agree on most 'big issues' we do have enough differences of opinion (he's a member of the Socialist Party, I'm a member of Labour though we're both considering voting Green...) to keep things interesting!

Yes. We don't always agree on everything but fundamentally we are absolutely aligned.

It's very important to both of us and I wouldn't have a relationship with very different values.

Sort of. We generally have the same political ideals, but differing opinions on the pragmatic reality of politics.

She recently changed her mind on her vote, though, because something I said caused a lightbulb moment. I'm incredibly proud (not in the condescending sense, but genuinely) of her for that - not because it brought her round to my way of thinking, but because in this day and age changing your mind about something important and polarising is incredibly rare.

Yes.

Right on some things, left on others. We both feel politically homeless atm so even though we feel it’s important to vote, I’m not sure we will this time.

Yep. Same as my husband. His rants about the Tory mismanagement of the NHS are a thing of beauty and only done after a few drinks.

My parents, sister, sister in law all feel similarly. My father in law has religiously read the Mail for years, doesn’t like anyone from abroad coming to live here (actually make that doesn’t like anyone from abroad) and is a bit of an embarrassment to be honest. He fails to read the room, latest rant was London mayoral election, obviously upset at the result because we can’t have that sort winning elections and he doesn’t like to be told where he can take his particulate belching car. He thinks we’re terrible woke types and probably blames me.

We don’t but more similar than when we met as I think we have seen the merits in each other’s positions and respect each other. I think the reasons for the other person’s position are important. DH and I have different perspectives on what the highest priorities are and how to manage them but I don’t think I could be with someone whose political views were motivated by being e.g anti immigrant or benefits.

We used to, but my views have changed after decades under Welsh Labour who consider any contrary opinion to theirs need squashing. I saw people in the public sector who should be neutral expected to publicly put forward opinions on the new speed limit to shut the objectors up and this has been a common theme. Dh is a member of the Labour Party still but I can't stand the fact they preach about engagement but hate any opposition. I can't be arsed to argue with dh because the other options are also shit but I miss caring about who runs us

We have very similar political views, and very similar views on moral/ethical-type issues too. Very important to both of us that that is the case. Can’t conceive of being with a Tory, or some who voted Leave, for example.

Unfortunately, so far a lot of people I have met with opposing views have struggled to engage in discussion with any data or research, and havnt been able to talk about how what we know about psychology marries up with the politics they support.

@Foxblue I agree that the art of debate and the ability to have a fact-based discussion makes a huge difference in relationships. DH and I have encouraged our teenagers to debate without resorting to emotional arguments, because it’s far more effective. DD (19) was very involved in her high school’s debating club and I’ve learnt a lot from her, she can put together a strong argument!

Just keep chatting. I wouldn’t dump for ‘right wing views’ but I would for racist ones. Ie ‘I want less immigration’ is ok, but ‘our country is being dominated by X or Y ethnicity’ is not.

What do you do if their views change? I have been married over 20 years and DH's views have swung somewhat to the right, though not extreme right.

Yes, not entirely - he would describe himself as slightly more centrist (whatever that means these days)
I don't know if I would date someone with opposing views. I like to think I would, but something that's very important to me is that decisions and long term change are based around two pillars: data, and working with what we know about psychology of individuals, groups and at societal level

Unfortunately, so far a lot of people I have met with opposing views have struggled to engage in discussion with any data or research, and havnt been able to talk about how what we know about psychology marries up with the politics they support.

However, I believe I am just unlucky in that respect, and hope that I do meet someone with opposing political views at some point who can engage in discussion with both of those things informing their beliefs, because I would be really interested in learning about the data and psychological basis for decisions that they agree with.
I hope this is a respectful comment, as I do genuinely believe I've just been unlucky so far, I want to be clear that I dont think that everyone who doesn't agree with me has no evidence to back themselves up!

We have the same values but not necessarily the same views. Biggest issue was the referendum where he voted for Scottish independence and I didn't. It was a horrid, divisive time in Scotland and I am proud to say we never had a cross word or fell out about it. We respect each others different views.

Yes we both agree they are all a shower of shit who have no idea of what they are doing.
We have been together for 38 years and so like most people have had our ups and downs. We have realised that whatever party has been in power has had no effect whatsoever on this; so actually it’s of no importance to us. We will manage to deal with whatever life throws at us in the best way possible

Yes, as far as I know. We don't really directly talk politics much, but we talk around moral issues or comment on news stories and have similar opinions. We definitely both sit very firmly on the left side of the spectrum, although we've voted for different parties at different times.

I couldn’t date or marry someone with very different political or moral views. It shows a completely different outlook on the world that I’d struggle to like or respect.