Complaining neighbour

I think the OP is the problem here. Who lets their children play with a ball inside?

The OP also turned her nose up at colouring and reading - I think that paints a very clear picture.

I really feel for the neighbour, you don’t expect to have a child in the flat above playing ball games inside.

Ball playing indoors is a hazard and a recipe for break stuff not mentioning the noise.
Try to avoid that first to see if is a legit complaint. It may well works or not.

She has to suck it up, I’m afraid, as you don’t sound unreasonable in what you allow. She should also turn off her music by 11 pm or she may get many more complaints

So did I but with the best will in the world I had chores to do and didn't want to spend 8 hours of my day outside wondering the parks and streets. We went to the park for a few hours, we often went to the shops but my child still was awake from 5am until 8pm with only a 30-hour min - hour nap until she was 3. I lived in a flat until she was 2 and half and she was not the type to ever sit still. it was exhausting- now shes a young woman and plays sport 2-3 hours a day on average. she cannot sit for long periods even now- if not studying she's moving. we had all manner of balls in the flat. No hard bouncing balls but ball pits and soft balls - id consider these usual indoor toys. footballs and tennis balls that bounce are for outside. Some children are very active. It is unfortunate if they disturb the neighbours but this is usual family noise. the building is to blame not the family unless they are playing noise above normal levels or kicking hard footballs about.

she literally states time & time again that its carpet floors - and why does one person have more of a right to enjoy their home than others? shes a small child, its a soft ball - same as any other toy. Dropping a hard book would make more noise.

Flats really need the maximum depth of underlay to their carpets but rarely have it. Not that this alone would completely affect impact noise.
Thick Rugs over the top would help.

soft furnishings will absorb airborne noise.

Or egg boxes 🤣

Flats don't always come with a convenient outdoor space to play in, because they are flats.

Huh?

A child running around, particularly playing with a ball, inside is not good for them.

I have an active child. When she was smaller regardless of the weather I had to take her out everyday.

Luckily we have a shopping centre nearby and another large department store so when it was raining heavily and not very busy she would toddle around that. Even when she went to nursery and childminder they would make sure she played outside most of the time, and the childminder would make sure they went out on a walk everyday unless it was above 30 degrees. While it rains a lot in the UK it is not raining heavily every second of the day.

No some of us are simply flat footed.

Had many interesting conversations in my 20s with many housemates who saw podiatrists before it became more common in the UK to do so.

Incidentally half my housemates were male.

This is a distinct possibility. May e the loud music was in frustration at all the daytime noise above? Either way flats are not ideal but if you live in a flat surrounded by other people then you need to understand that you are going to hear noise from other people. It's unreasonable to expect people to tip toe around in their home just because you want silence. Sadly these things tend to escalate so I'd expect further complaints in future.

There is no need to run and jump indoors for healthy brain development.

a ball is not an indoor toy. Take it outside.

This right here is part of the reason kids are growing up with a multitude of MH problems... because people are so damned intolerent of them doing the things that are vital for healthy brain development. The same people moaning that a kid is doing more than tiptoeing around their own house will be the same that are complaining that they're youtube zombies in 10 years time. Kids shouldn't be allowed to get away with anything but there has to be a degree of understanding that as an adult you have much more ability and duty to adapt to your surroundings than a child does

Ignore it ? Minimise the ball playing , if you can afford out rugs down or if she plays ina more specific area consider buying those foam tiles ( halfords sell the coloured big ones cheap ) .
if peope live in flats they should expect noise during the day . That’s life

I disagree completely.

REsidential flats are residential flats. Not working flats. If people are choosing to work from home, they'll have to learn to cope with normal residential daytime noise. That includes playing children, musical children, lawn mowing, etc

I think people have gotten a really warped sense of expectations from working at home when that was never what homes and residential neighbourhoods were designed for, especially flats.

We once had a downstairs neighbour complain because my 1 year old got out of bed at about 7 and ran down the hall to the living room every morning (still does 10 years later actually - like a little pixie). Children can be quite heavy-footed, and that's life. My childminder actually went and had a word with them that it was entirely normal (I was going to ignore it, but she was incensed!)

playing with a ball or a balloon is also totally normal for a toddler - if it was a 13 year old bouncing a basketball that would be different.

You already have carpets etc.

She can't expect a silent work environment all day - other people exist.

It's your home; your child is entitled to move around and play during daytime hours. If your neighbour has chosen to work at home (this isn't 2020 lockdown),, then she'll have to put up with normal, household noises. That includes playing children.

Is it? My child plays ball inside, so does my friends child - you know it’s normal for young kids. We’re not talking about footballs, but soft balls you know like a ball pit! But even without balls kids run inside it’s normal!! What you want kids to do, sit infront the tv all day 🙄

You sound like an awful neighbour, TBH.

I live in a block where most people work from home at least sometimes, and there are children in some of the flats.

Music practice = limited to agreed hours of the week so people aren't woken up by terrible violins
Ball games = outside, always outside
Running around = nope, never
Parties = Fridays and Saturdays only, i.e. loud music late at night does not happen on school nights

It's entirely possible for childfree people and families to live together harmoniously in the same building. But only when they're considerate.

Ditto

Flats, especially newer ones built out of almost cardboard do tranit sound

The best thing for people with kids is not to live in flats or live on the ground floor or an old, contret floor block of good quality

Have you got wooden floors? They can be really clompy for downstairs neighbours. I used to live in a flat where you could literally hear them stirring a cup of tea upstairs and it drove me insane. That can't really be helped but you can muffle the sound as much as possible by carpeting or sticking down a load of rugs. Get them cheap or second hand if need be. TBH I think that's just being considerate of your neighbours and not a big ask of you at all.

We lived next door to a heavy~footed woman.
Her partner {male} was a silent walker, but the woman..stamp stamp stamp... My brother lived next door to a woman who stamped about.

Some people walk very lightly, others like a cart-horse.

I do wonder if it's about ''Passive aggression''? Those short, stampy, footsteps?

I would go for a chat, and make sure you let her know it's the floor that's crap and you can sometimes hear her/her music too.
Let he know what you'll do to mitigate noise and see how you can work together eg
less balls indoors
no shoes indoors
get an extra rug to go on carpet for main play space
Find out which room she works in and avoid child being in room above during working hours
when weather/time of year permits you'll endeavour to be out of the house as much as possible in the day but obviously it is your home not a workspace, so on really wet/cold days could neighbour go to a workspace/cafe which would save her a bit on electricity/heat?
she starts school in September

and from her, no late night louder music that keeps your child awake

Part of the reason it got you down is because you know how small the upstairs flat is.

I lodged in a flat once were all the children use to play outside from age 2 with parents watching them as the flats were designed with lots of green space. (This was when Surestart still existed.)

Anyway there was a boy above me who started running around and sound like a herd of elephants running around. My landlord, who had been away, went up and told the parents off. Apparently other parents in the development with the same aged children repeatedly asked the boy out to play but the mother couldn't be bothered. Oh and rain wasn't an excuse as he was doing it when it was dry.

This. My neighbours worked from home during Covid and were complaining about the upstairs neighbour, who was probably doing what she always had done when they were out during the day. Kids running about in a flat is annoying but if you are out at work and come home around the child’s bedtime you aren’t going to notice it so much. There is a huge expectation for people to respect neighbours working from home but it is entirely unreasonable. Maybe the neighbour needs to take herself out to a working space or, dare I say it, a coffee shop for some of the day.

Yes, the child should absolutely be able to be free to play in their own home. It's their home. That's how life works. I'm sure a compromise could be reached if the neighbour showed their face for an actual conversation. If you are so quick to keep harping on about what you perceive as the OPs lack of respect maybe you should start thinking on the neighbours, with her loud music at 11 with the knowledge that a child is above her.