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AIBU?

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Is this extremely petty of my children's school?

194 replies

PumpkinSly · 24/05/2024 10:12

I went to the school office today to tell them I would need to collect my two children at 15.05 rather than 15.15 because my ds has an opticians appointment. They asked for proof of the appointment which I don't have. They said that without it, it would go down as an unauthorized absence. I haven't been given an appointment card, or been sent a text or email to confirm the appointment. I went home and rang the opticians who said that the confirmation email has to come from customer services, and they aren't able to do it from the branch. So either we are late to the appointment or, if I pick my children up 10 minutes before the end of the school day, they will get an unauthorised absence for the whole afternoon session.

Aibu to think that this is an extreme level of pettiness from my children's school over them missing 10 minutes at the end of the school day? It's the end of term and I would bet good money that there won't be a full day of teaching and that they will be watching films and playing games etc. This response from the school is bizarre to me, it's 10 minutes at the end of the day!

OP posts:
suburburban · 24/05/2024 13:54

It's ridiculous and petty, just take them

What does it mean if it is an unauthorised absence in the long run?

Brainded · 24/05/2024 13:54

I don’t in why you are bothered @PumpkinSly why are you giving it headspace. It literally has no bearing on anything at all. Who actually will care?!

SpringYay · 24/05/2024 13:51

Never had to prove anything to my kids school.... Email saying child will be late due to dentist or whatever is believed and it's all good. We are in Scotland where there doesn't seem to be the same level of authoritarianism from schools that I see described on here sometimes.

maw1681 · 24/05/2024 13:47

Yes extremely petty. Can't you get the optician to write the appointment on a card when you're there then take it in to school after half term so they can update it?
Unlikely they will actually mark them down as unauthorised absence for 10 mins anyway though, probably just want to make you sweat in case you're actually taking them early because you're going on holiday (not that it makes a difference)

TheYearOfSmallThings · 24/05/2024 13:47

MadisonAvenue · 24/05/2024 13:44

I had a really ridiculous situation with the police when my son was younger. I’d specifically booked him a GP appointment for during lunch so he wouldn’t miss any school so I collected him and we walked to the surgery.

A police car stopped as we did so, and I thought nothing of it until an officer got out and called us back.

He asked why my son wasn’t in school (he was in school uniform and we’d just walked from that direction so it was obvious he’d been at school) so I said we were going to the doctors and the officer asked which surgery and wanted to see proof of the appointment. At that time the GP didn’t send text confirmations so I had nothing, he then told me to book appointments for outside of school hours. I explained that it technically was as it was lunchtime and he’d be back in school ready for afternoon lessons. All he could really say to that was to make sure I had proof of the appointment next time as they’d be keeping an eye open.

Shock

That is very, very odd.

FTPM1980 · 24/05/2024 13:45

As a PP said....it really doesn’t matter to you or your child if its authorised or not as long as generally attendance is good.
It's schools that seem to worry about it.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 24/05/2024 13:45

Just let them record it as whatever they like. It will have zero impact on you and make their stats look worse so just smile and say "No problem!"

MadisonAvenue · 24/05/2024 13:44

I had a really ridiculous situation with the police when my son was younger. I’d specifically booked him a GP appointment for during lunch so he wouldn’t miss any school so I collected him and we walked to the surgery.

A police car stopped as we did so, and I thought nothing of it until an officer got out and called us back.

He asked why my son wasn’t in school (he was in school uniform and we’d just walked from that direction so it was obvious he’d been at school) so I said we were going to the doctors and the officer asked which surgery and wanted to see proof of the appointment. At that time the GP didn’t send text confirmations so I had nothing, he then told me to book appointments for outside of school hours. I explained that it technically was as it was lunchtime and he’d be back in school ready for afternoon lessons. All he could really say to that was to make sure I had proof of the appointment next time as they’d be keeping an eye open.

Topseyt123 · 24/05/2024 13:42

I do find this sort of thing silly, yes.

Personally, I would just collect them, go to the appointment and then not give it any more headspace.

LeaderBee · 24/05/2024 13:41

DappledThings · 24/05/2024 10:33

What do S and M stand for?

S (Sick) and M (Medical appointment) presumably.

BogRollBOGOF · 24/05/2024 13:39

It can't be an unauthorised absence because the child was present for the pm reg mark. Therefore they are recorded as present.

The other variation of this "game" for the morning is the revolving door method. Do not miss the am reg, but once they have that mark they can go out of the door for their appointment and are "present" and can return later. I learned this one the hard way when I made the mistake of taking DS to X-ray early injury aquired in the classroom after it closed by the time we were assessed the previous evening. I stupidly thought that taking him back first thing and minimised learning time lost, but no, the hoops that schools have to jump through are that the child needs the reg mark then they can leave without affecting the data. That 30 mins cost DS his 100% attendance for the year, but wouldn't have if I'd realised and signed him out at 9:15 and got him back by 1pm, even though more learning time would have been lost to travel.

The rules schools have to abide by are daft enough, but they don't help their cause when they add in additional non-rules too, and it simply isn't practical for every appointment to be in non-school time.

HollyKnight · 24/05/2024 13:30

Can you not just get an appointment card when you're there later then give it to the school tomorrow?

Chickatease · 24/05/2024 13:29

FacingTheWall · 24/05/2024 10:18

They won’t/don’t alter the afternoon register for a ten minute absence at the end of the day. Just take them and don’t give it a second thought.

This.

I've worked in a school office and did the registers in the morning and after lunch, I never went back in to the records to change it if someone left for an appointment after registration. Every school is different but that seems extremely petty

10kgcookies · 24/05/2024 13:27

SilkFloss · 24/05/2024 13:25

I agree that 10 minutes seems petty but I will also point out how incredibly busy our local dentist must be on Friday afternoons, what with the sheer number of pupils having appointments.
Plus, it really is a pain for the office staff to have to keep traipsing round our (large) site collecting kids throughout the day.

Precious!

Well at least the office staff have a nice break away from their computer and can get their steps up.

After all, not walking enough at work and too much screen time is bad for your health doncha know 😊

SilkFloss · 24/05/2024 13:25

I agree that 10 minutes seems petty but I will also point out how incredibly busy our local dentist must be on Friday afternoons, what with the sheer number of pupils having appointments.
Plus, it really is a pain for the office staff to have to keep traipsing round our (large) site collecting kids throughout the day.

10kgcookies · 24/05/2024 13:24

That’s so funny! 😂 an unauthorised absence after afternoon registration? Sounds like the power has gone to someone’s head 😂

Our head teacher welcomes children going away for their holidays after Friday afternoon registration. Frees up the afternoon and doesn’t affect their attendance! Win win!

PrincessTeaSet · 24/05/2024 13:21

Saytheyhear · 24/05/2024 13:17

You have parental responsibility over your children and not the school.
State you will not be disclosing their medical information due to GDPR.
If they chose to mark your children as absent you can simply put in an email that you, as the mum have already informed the school of a scheduled appointment for your child.
Children with ongoing conditions and disabilities must have so much of their personal medical data all over the place!

And gdpr does not apply here

PrincessTeaSet · 24/05/2024 13:21

Saytheyhear · 24/05/2024 13:17

You have parental responsibility over your children and not the school.
State you will not be disclosing their medical information due to GDPR.
If they chose to mark your children as absent you can simply put in an email that you, as the mum have already informed the school of a scheduled appointment for your child.
Children with ongoing conditions and disabilities must have so much of their personal medical data all over the place!

An appointment card is not medical information

Saytheyhear · 24/05/2024 13:17

You have parental responsibility over your children and not the school.
State you will not be disclosing their medical information due to GDPR.
If they chose to mark your children as absent you can simply put in an email that you, as the mum have already informed the school of a scheduled appointment for your child.
Children with ongoing conditions and disabilities must have so much of their personal medical data all over the place!

FTPM1980 · 24/05/2024 13:16

It shouldn't go down as absence at all
But it's the Friday before half term and I guarantee loads of people have already made similar requests/claims to get away early

This makes significant extra work for the office staff and the teachers to make sure each child is ready for early pick up.....especially on the last Friday of term when (assuming primary age) there will be things to take home and all the other kids will be over excited.
With so many people doing it it becomes really disruptive.

Thecatistheboss · 24/05/2024 13:12

My daughter got a detention for been 2 hours late ( she was at a camhs appointment) refused to let the detention drop even though I had proof then flat out refused to let her leave the detention for a hospital appointment ( also had proof of) I totally sympathise, got to the point now I’ve contacted ofsted as I’m at the end of my tether with the school

YellowDots · 24/05/2024 10:41

Don't put yourself under additional pressure like that. Schools don't want parents whipping their dc out of lessons as it's disruptive and it's inconvenient as someone has to go and get them etc.

But some parents do it all of the time. You are doing it as a complete one off for an appointment.

Also, I'd like to see how they are going to mark them down as absent so I would not be able to stop myself from carrying on as planned!

Jellycatspyjamas · 24/05/2024 10:38

I just wouldn’t care to be honest, let them mark it as unauthorised if it suits them. In the grand scheme of things it’s not going to matter.

RitzyMcFee · 24/05/2024 10:38

It shouldn't be marked as an absence at all- the children will be there when the register is taken for the afternoon and are simply leaving a few minutes early. So, on the face of it, the school is being petty and probably incorrect to say it will be marked as absence.

Exactly. They can't mark them absent at all. Even if it was a secondary school with a register in each lesson.

Also, it has much more of an affect on the school than on you if they were to be unauthorised.

PumpkinSly · 24/05/2024 10:36

I was offered an appointment card when I made the appointment in store, but I thought I wouldn't need it 🤦🏻‍♀️. The opticians has been great and said that they will still be able to see us even if we're a few minutes late. I'm not expecting us to be more than 5-10 minutes late and that's only if we hit traffic. With the weather so awful, and it being the last day of term, there might be heavier traffic. I'm going to pick them up at their usual finish time and hope the teachers actually let them out on time. My DD teacher is often 5 minutes late letting them out which is why I decided to get them a few minutes early. It will all be fine, but I was really taken aback by how petty the school are being about it. Their attendance is good, I rarely take them out for appointments, its only been for an emergency, or a hospital appointment before. Routine stuff has always been outside of school hours. Marking the whole afternoon as an absence just for them missing the last 10 minutes is absolutely ridiculous to me.

OP posts:
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