He handed me something to clean. Am I being too sensitive?

I don't understand.

Boss / manager / supervisor / unit leader

Subordinate

Sexes make no difference.
If a boss asks a subordinate to do a task, thats just how work works isn't it?

How do you know there are none? OP says she has issues with sexism from her boss. This case may not be a good example, but she clearly feels there are others.

As with others I don't think you can say whether it's sexism or seniority. If the colleage at the same level as you was male but it was always you expected to do the washing up, then that's clear cut. Here it isn't, none of the examples you've given are.

If you like your work and your colleagues you have to let this go, because you can never be sure what's going on.

Is this not as he is the most senior rather than as you’re a woman?

The ethos in my work is that if someone more junior (and therefore cheaper) than you can do the job 80% as well as you can, then they should do it. And the senior person should coach the last 20%.

Therefore if you could clean the bowl at least 80% as well as he could, it should be delegated to you.

I assume you’re capable of doing it 100% as well as he could, and it happened as much on your watch as his (although more on yours if you made the drink), so seems perfectly reasonable to ask you.

It is sometimes hard to disentangle rank and sexism when men are more commonly senior. And as a senior female I’m glad it’s something I don’t have to navigate or worry about (because I obviously don’t delegate because it’s women’s work that’s below me, just because it’s junior work that’s below me 😂)

I doubt being passive aggressive and petty will really help. If the op is really that bothered she could suggest putting a washing up bowl in the room

I think you are looking for issues where there are none.

I agree with this.

If it was me, I would have dealt with it myself if I was the most senior, but it is up to him if he delegates it or not.

I agree with this. I think it's a huge over reaction to such a minor issue.

I agree with this.

Because if your boss asks you to do it, don’t you just do it?

I agree with PP's point that it's difficult to unpick seniority from sexism.

I have a child in a similar sort of situation. Individual relationships students have with staff are important and they probably align more often along gender lines than strictly 50/50, but nevertheless surely it's every adult's job to build a positive relationship with each child. This can't be delegated. That said these things are multifactorial. Is it possible (not as the only reason, but one of them) that the girls actually prefer you and your female colleague too? Some level of this is absolutely fine, as long as the students are not missing out. And for these girls you may be a better and more therapeutic fit than your boss is. I'm not saying you're wrong to blame sexism, but do also give weight to the value you give to them.

If you want to do something about it, rather than complaining about his behaviour, how about suggesting that as a team you make an effort to ensure you are modelling no hint of gender bias for the students. It's a powerful thing for boys as well as girls to have role models like that, and maybe they won't all be getting it at home. It's SEMH learning. Not what people think privately - sexists don't think they are sexist - but what the students see physically happening around them. Something it is all the more important for you all to model carefully given the boss is a bloke, and whether it was meant as gender bias or not students could see only the women doing the washing up and conclude that only women should wash up. Similarly maybe you could suggest sometimes mixing it up a bit with the students so you all work with the students you have the least strong connection with.

When he next comes at you with something that needs 'sorting', quickly say, Do you need me to watch your group while you wash that?

I think this sounds like a seniority thing rather than a sexism thing to be honest. It’s the same in almost all work environments, the managers/supervisors/more senior staff members delegate to their support staff, in this case you. It’s not a case of “well my husband would never behave like this” because the reality is that managers/supervisors everywhere DO behave like this, the scenario is just different depending on your work environment, but all managers/supervisors delegate jobs to their supporting staff because that is the point of employing those staff.

This, and you'd just made the hot chocolate that made the mess. Would someone have needed to stay and supervise the child with the hot drink and as senior he was doing this?

I think this too.

I think there's some really old fashioned views on management or leadership on this thread. A good lead would have whipped it away and cleaned it so you could continue with your activity with the boy, at least I suspect a female lead would have done. It's important to role model good values to teenage boys AND girls. Whether he did it because he's the boss or not, that boy saw a man just hand over a cleaning task to a woman.
I wouldnt like that either OP. Let me tell you, the most productive, cohesive teams are the ones where everyone mucks in. A wise man once told me, never ask someone to do a job you aren't prepared to do or capable of doing yourself. You end up been regarded as an incompetent fool no matter how clever you are.
You've said yourself OP that he's smart but clueless 🤷‍♀️

YABU. He’s the boss, so you should be doing the more menial tasks. Sex is irrelevant.

It's hard to judge as he is more senior than you. I can do all the tasks my staff can do but most of the time i delegate because the chain of command has to be clear to make sure the team runs well and everyone understands how they fit within it. As a manager if you only take the collegiate approach to management you run into the danger of more junior members of staff becoming disenfranchised because they start to think they are paid less to do exactly the same job. In your case it could be that or he could be a sexist twat.

No, but without knowing what each person's job it you can't know it's not appropriate.
If I was managa pub and I asked a pot washer to wash a glass that would be perfectly reasonable...that's what they are there for.

The point is that boys and girls need male and female staff to be working with them. Girls need to see good males in positions that don't denegrate the female staff and boys need to see female staff being in positions other than doing the washing up all the time.

This. I don’t have an entire team to then just do everything myself. They are there to support me, that’s their job. The male / female thing is irrelevant. He is your senior , he delegates. End of!

Agree with PP’s, he’s the manager so it is on you to be doing the cleaning - especially if a child you’re helping made the mess.

Totally agree. On both counts.

OP I used to run a small training unit for students from the local PRU and there was only 2 of us, sometimes 3. Plus various support workers would come from the PRU. So I get why sometimes the main person [whose name is on the insurance documents, and where the buck stops] sometimes needs one of the others to do stuff like leaving the room to take things away for cleaning etc. However there are ways and means of doing it.

Do you have after session tidy and mop ups where you all discuss what went well, what didn't and how you can facilitate better working in the future? 'Is there a better way of dealing with little things like the constant cleaning that I keep needing to leave the sessions to sort out/is there a better way of engaging the girls because they are not getting the necessary involvement that the boys are getting/insert other things that should be discussed in a small team teaching kids' is a good way of framing these things.