To break up with him on his birthday?

It sounds like he wants his freedom, so let that be your gift to him. Ditch the cheat today and never look back.

Dump him and stay single until you work on yourself and are able to walk away the first time someone cheats on you. If you allow someone to cheat they will take it as a free pass to do it constantly.

He thinks you should trust him?! What planet is he on?

Just dump him now

Just do it. You owe him nothing

Like @Bushwhacked20 says
"If he makes you cry now he will always make you cry. In time you'll be glad you binned him."
Birthday is irrelevant.
How and why will you sit through the family dinner, acting out a part, knowing what you know and watching his friends and family toast and pay tribute to him. It would be a nauseating ordeal. Why would you put yourself through that to spare his feelings? After the way he's treated you.

Yes. They might say, "Oh no. not on his birthday!" but as he's such a smooth operator he will probably make an excuse for you not being there. Or he may play the sympathy card. Either way, you won't be there to see it.

Plus if you are worried about him spreading the story or even about hurting his feelings (lol) A school friend was dumped shortly after being wined, dined etc on Valentines , because he felt it would be cruel to do it on the actual day. He presented it as doing her a real favour and a kindness.
Everyone thought it was more despicable than breaking up on the day because it led to false expectations. The friend felt she'd been made an absolute fool of on top of the breakup, and all her friends agreed.
The truth is always better.

Honestly, I'd be tempted to do it after the main and before the desert in front of his family. :-) Then, leave with your head held high, grinning from ear to ear as your mission is accomplished - you have humiliated him the way he has humiliated you by gaslighting you

Get rid. He doesn't value you or your feelings

A friend of mine dumped his now wife a few days before her 21st because he didn't want to go to her birthday party and meet her family! Now that was unreasonable but it's an amusing story. Every day is a good day to dump someone that care so very little about your feelings

Get rid - he doesn’t give a shit about you so tough luck if it’s his birthday

YABU to break up with him just because he’s going to this club.

YANBU to break up with him because he’s a lying, cheating scum bag.

But let’s be honest, you have no plans to break up with him as you would have done it already.

He is of course in the wrong but people only treat us how we allow ourselves to be treated.
He isn’t going to change and so it’s up to you to decide whether you want to be treated this way or not.

This is not a marriage of twenty years which you’re desperately trying to save after infidelity. This is a brand new relationship with a guy who has been cheating on you the whole time. The whole time. Why are you with him? How desperate for a man are you? Seriously, where is your self worth? Why are you with this guy? Why did you stay after the first time, then the second, then the third and then again 6 weeks ago? Does he have a magic cock or something?

Wake up. Know your worth. What are you doing? Jesus.

I thought this was maybe a bit harsh from the title - then I read your post.

I think the absolute least you should do is ruin the lying prick's birthday! Enjoy it. Then go out with your girlfriends and have fun. He's not worth another second of your energy.

Dump him, he doesn't care about you, why should you care about his birthday

end the relationship now, birthday or not.
And gently op, please go and get some counselling to work on your self esteem. You're worth so much more than this. It's worrying that you don't seem outraged by what he's done and that you'd even give
one, never mind several chances

I don't see why you'd call it off now when he's already cheated on you four times in 10 months and you're still with him. What's one more for the road?

Of course you should split up with him btw. But you should also examine why you stayed with him after he treated you so badly.

Not all men lie and cheat. You deserve better op.

And he deserves to be dumped on his birthday.

Why on earth did this happen more than once?

You must have barely known the bloke the first time he cheated. Why on earth didn't you dump him then?

Yes, dump him now, and then spend some time working out why you let him walk all over you before you start looking to date again.

Have a think about why on earth you are giving any consideration to fairness on how you treat this person who has treated you so very, very badly?

What have you learned about the roles of men and women in relationships which means you focus on his needs and wants at the expense of your own ?

Once you have rid yourself of this pathetic excuse for a person, start thinking about why you are allowing yourself to be treated so very badly. Yes it's good to be kind to others rather than selfish but as they say every time an airplane takes off ... see to your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else with theirs.

You are an adult, it's your responsibility to treat yourself well and expect others to do the same. If they don't then they do not deserve your time and attention.

Remember that next someone tries to treat you badly. You won't be able to change them but you can choose whether they get your time and attention. Choose wisely.

This.

i stayed, stayed, stayed… for 21 years. Two kids. Married him. The cheating carried on, the gaslighting, the coercion.. he gave me complex ptsd.

left him march 2021 - he had already met his (now ex gf) and did exactly the same to her

LTB. Today.

The only reason you are dumping him on his birthday is because he cheated on you on his birthday.

If he didn’t want to ruin the meal there was an easy solution available to him, not to fuck somebody else on his birthday.

@Faceissues 4 times in 10 months??? good grief!! you need to have more respect for yourself. dump him now. it will be better in the long run because he obviously does not know how to treat a woman! @Horsemother Happy birthday whateverhisnameis (fuckface) I would not even deign to call him by his name! Fuckface is exactly what he is so Happy Birthday Fuckface it would be for me!

Why are you allowing someone to destroy you like this! Bin him!

Some of these suggested replies are far too complicated. You owe him nothing. You owe yourself a much, much better relationship with someone nice.
Text - Happy birthday whateverhisnameis (fuckface) don't contact me again. Then block him everywhere and be strong. If you need to, get out of the house so that he can't drop round for some stupid lengthy discussion about realationship. Don't engage in any way.

This ^^
Dump him and get an STI test.

4 women in 10 months! Don't waste another minute on him.

Perfect day to do it.