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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not socialise with my colleagues.....I'm the manager.

85 replies

CrispyTofu · 23/05/2024 22:58

I manage a small team of NHS Healthcare Professionals. I have never suggested nights out or meet ups outside of work whilst I've been in this Team.

It has been suggested to me recently that this is an issue for some of the team and that they would like to have team evenings out. Some of the team stated that they would feel better supported, more included and happier in the job if team outings were included.

We work in a very difficult field, where staff turnover can be high (this isn't an issue for my team currently nor has it ever been an issue), however it is something I have to be mindful of and we have additional wellbeing support due to the nature of the job.

The issue is, although I really like my colleagues, I don't want to socialise with them outside of work. AIBU to not arrange nights out or attend any? Or do I need to just get on with it and arrange something on a regular or not so regular basis?

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 23/05/2024 23:21

After work meal? Means you can eat and run and let them carry on

Original poster
CrispyTofu · 23/05/2024 23:17

Crinkle77 · 23/05/2024 23:14

Would they settle for a team lunch during work hours? But otherwise no, I wouldn't be socialising outside of work hours if I didn't want to.

We can't take lunch breaks as a team, otherwise this is would be an ideal solution Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
CrispyTofu · 23/05/2024 23:16

TwattyMcFuckFace · 23/05/2024 23:00

Let them arrange it. You won't be the only one who doesn't want to go.

If staff turnover has never been a problem, I'm not sure what that has to do with it?

I mentioned staff turnover because it is common in other teams who do my job and I have to be mindful of this and be vigilant about my teams wellbeing to avoid burnout.

As this has been put to me as a wellbeing issue I thought it was worth mentioning.

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 23/05/2024 23:14

Would they settle for a team lunch during work hours? But otherwise no, I wouldn't be socialising outside of work hours if I didn't want to.

Original poster
CrispyTofu · 23/05/2024 23:14

@orchidsinthemirror this is exactly how I feel, we already have away days. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that feels this way Smile

OP posts:
LimeFish · 23/05/2024 23:09

Personally I'd organise a trip to the pub or whatever after work occasionally. Bring a cake in to work on that day and gather at the end of the day to have a slice and a chat for 20 mins, go to the pub for 1 drink (if you can afford to, buy first round) then leave them to it. I would say 1 hour of your time a few times a year. Encourage them to organise their own team.outings without you aswell.

orchidsinthemirror · 23/05/2024 23:07

I manage a team too and I wouldn't want to socialise with them outside of work. They're all really lovely people but due to the nature of what we do, I'm a different person when I leave the office.

At work I hope I am professional and patient and serious. At home I'm pretty different! I don't think I have a medium setting between the two so I understand the reticence.

If your team is really asking to see more of you, organise a lunch or an away day (in working hours) instead if your work allows that.

FixItUpChappie · 23/05/2024 23:05

I don't want to see my colleagues after work hours - I can't possibly be the only one who would not want this expectation of attendance for the team. I like my colleagues too but I'm a busy person and when work is done...I'm out.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/05/2024 23:01

What's stopping them from arranging something?

TwattyMcFuckFace · 23/05/2024 23:00

Let them arrange it. You won't be the only one who doesn't want to go.

If staff turnover has never been a problem, I'm not sure what that has to do with it?

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