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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be uncomfortable with this interaction?

30 replies

PinkCardigan93 · 23/05/2024 21:37

I work with lots of men for long hours and have developed some good friendships in my team. Strictly workplace friendships - I don't see or communicate outside of work, but we get on well.

One particular male colleague is 20 years + (I'm early thirties, he's in his fifties) and we often have banter and I would say we have a good friendship.

Today, this particular colleague and I had to share a car journey for a site visit...and he asked me to go out on a date with him! I was genuinely shocked and told him that would not ever happen.

He is 1) in a long term relationship and 2) a much older man than me, with a son my age.

I feel so uncomfortable that he seems to think that was even a possibility and it's made me rethink all of my own behaviour around him. I've always been friendly - as I am to everyone - but this has made me feel very awkward around him and I'm going to be honest, this meant I avoided him for the rest of the day.

I can't help but feel he is a bit pervy and it's creeped me out. AIBU?

OP posts:
Allfur · 23/05/2024 21:46

What a wanker

Ladyluckinred · 23/05/2024 21:44

He took your friendliness as an opportunity to cheat on his partner. Your relationship will likely be very different going forward. I’d feel extremely creeped out knowing what’s on his mind! Although sadly, I’m not surprised, this happens too often.

Riverlee · 23/05/2024 21:43

The age thing wouldn’t bother he do much, more that he was already in a long term relationship. Also, he asked you in the confines of a car, so you were effectively trapped, although may be felt comfortable away from the office.

I would avoid him also although going forward, you’ll have to act civilly and professionally, and cool the friendliness a bit.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/05/2024 21:40

Well he's scum. Hitting on a much younger colleague when he's in a relationship. Added to that it's a work trip, bleugh what a wanker.

EsmeSusanOgg · 23/05/2024 21:39

Agree, this is uncomfortable. You have a work relationship, and he has used it it / seen it as an opportunity for a sdcual relationship. An affair even.