Dad ruining wife's half-marathon finish

martyrdom does not produce well-balanced, healthy kids.

Why on earth would your child be 'heartbroken' if you ran a few feet past them to finish your race?

Congratulations. Mine doesn't always. Assuming he is safe and not in trouble, when I am working, I am working, and when I am pursuing a hobby/sport seriously, that comes first.

Heartbreak? That's very dramatic and exaggerated language. I would be very worried by a kid that was 'heartbroken' by something like this. Their dad was right there for them and mum was probably right there after a minute or two.

My only slight surprise was that the mum didn't immediately run back to her confused kids and hug them to celebrate too

Immediately? Yes how dare Mum take a few minutes to celebrate her win. Awful isn't it.

I think about this clip every time I have a zoom presentation to do. I knew she was the mum straight away, the way she crawled along the floor to grab them in panic - only your own kids elicit that sort of wild frenzy!

My take on this video is that it's hard to judge without context. Could have been pre arranged, I'm also not sure that she won the race or if they held up banner for everyone.

What I will say is that the way we've interpreted it speaks to background expectations regarding women's achievements. Women expert to have their achievements downgraded or to come second because it happens to us all the time, either personally or women we know or see in the media, so we naturally interpret a situation along that pattern. It sucks!

What I feel more sad about it is that I would have bypassed my kid, go and win the race and come straight back to deal with any heartbreak I caused my child for not stopping, because I know NOBODY would help to deal with that heartbreak even if I didn’t cause it.

I’m all by mums have rights too, and have raised my son knowing that mum also has the right to be at the front of the queue sometimes, or 50% of the time now that he is an adult, but… I am very conditioned to be there for him because if I am not there for him… who will? The dad who spent so much time working away, running marathons/cycling/golfing and later disappeared from his life because he had “a life to leave”?

So are you saying she is a liar?

Glad you weren't my parents, they had their own independent lives. i think it's far healthier for parents to have identities away from being "mum" and this mum is smashing it!!!
Her children wont die because she ignores them for 5 metres and then 5 mins after. It's good for them to learn not everything revolves around them.

I really doubt that a woman in a position to WIN a half marathon would suggest stopping a few meters from the end to pick up two kids and start running again. She's trained enough surely to know that's a stupid idea. I've never ran a half marathon but done lots of running as training for another sport. You're running on pure momentum by the end. We're not talking someone doing their first event "to be healthy for their kids".

He looks like he thought he and the kids were more important than her achievement or at the very least, completely incapable of assessing a situation and changing his plans accordingly. She's clearly not slowing or focused on the kids so get them out the way and get them to run at the side to meet her at the finish line.

I also agree that if what we all see is true, he's clearly going to be treating her like shit over it. So her saying it was her idea to protect him from the backlash would also make sense. It's absolutely something I would have done, and did very similar acts of taking the blame to protect exH from other people's backlash becuase I'd get tenfold from him of whatever he got from anybody else.

That does make a difference.

I agree with you. I don't feel she would be that idiotic, since she does run. She would know the danger of runners getting tripped, the children falling or being hit by a motorbike.
I think she is covering for him because of the backlash he is getting.

Ffs. ‘Come on woman, you’ve had 1hr 40 minutes to yourself, that's more than enough, now get back to your kids‘. 🤣

In a fun run, when families/costumes are involved you have a good idea of what to expect. It's fun, there is a lot of bumbling about.
If I were actually racing and was close behind someone I would be very pissed at having to avoid their children on the track. Accidentally or agreed, it's selfish to the other runners, and quite dangerous.

Its fine so long as they are running the last 30m of a marathon course with their mum.

You need to start a new thread

It's not an assumption, it says so in many news reports.

Because it SAYS so in the video

😂

@WigglyVonWaggly

“ He just sent their very small child to run up to mummy.”

he JUST? It was a bloody stupid and misogynistic thing to do. I’m not sure why you’re minimising it?

Oh and in that moment, she wasn’t ‘mummy’ she was a RUNNER!

I thought you got disqualified if you touch another person in a race, like when a runner is struggling someone from the sideline can't step into help them.

If he’s done this to try to ruin it for her, he’s an arsehole.

@StarbucksQueen1

give the woman a chance! She’d just run a marathon

I think the poll is a bit too black and white. I saw the video yesterday and I just don’t think he was thinking - he seemed to be sending the child to celebrate with her and it was stupid because she just got in the way. However, that act now seems to be a symbol of sabotage, of him trying to destroy a woman’s independence and personal achievements, making her life about motherhood and not her accomplishments. I’m not convinced it’s that deep. He just sent their very small child to run up to mummy. It’s not like he linked arms and crossed the finish line with her, is it?