What is the biggest lie you've ever told or been told?

Husband (now Ex) passed out drunk leaving his cross dressing profile up on fabguys. Tried lying the next morning that he'd only fucked 2 other cross dressing men. Turned out to be 9 and was in the process of arranging the 10th.

oops, ignore my quote. Did not mean to do it.

I had a shocker of a first baby - did not sleep, bf, did not entertain herself, had to be carried everywhere.

They said lightning does not strike twice and my second baby will be an easy one.

They lied.

I wouldn't know where to start

A lilo:)

Friends new dp and his secret undercover life pre her, and his inheritance of x millions, It's all very strange tbh. None of what he alludes to can be proved or disproved. It all just seems so unlikely!!

The biggest lie I was ever told was that most people are basically good and nice.

I believed that bullshit till I was about 12.

*complicated than readymade pizza!

DH has our girls fully believing that he was a chef at Gleneagles. The oldest is 10 and usually asks me if I've used dad's recipe or did dad teach me how to make it. They have never questioned why their "chef" father never cooks. Spoiler alert: he's a dab hand at washing up but isn't great with anything more complicated than

He loves a wind up.

That there someone out there for everyone

And you'll meet him when you're not looking/least expect it

All bullshit

I told PM I was top of the class in all my subjects at school (except Science).

I told him I didn't send over 40,000 emails.

I told him I wasn't in love with the guy with a big green spot on his face.

Sent from my Ipne

When I was a teenager living at home we were once visited by this absolute loon of a lady. She started off seemingly normal and then her behaviour and tales got stranger and stranger. Eventually my mum went to bed so give her the hint to go home (telling her to didn't work) so she faked a massive fit. We called an ambulance because she was “unresponsive" she kept the bullshit up until she was in the bloody ambulance. They were furious with her for wasting their time.

I wonder if we know the same person.

I once knew someone who lied about everything from their name to… well…. Everything. Literally every piece of their life was a lie. I still can’t believe how many people they tricked.

I had been teaching for a couple of years when the tsunami stuck in 2004. We returned to work a week or so later.
We had this very odd teacher- female but looked and dressed like a large male but used a female first name. Given to creating personal dramas and exerted influence over a group of young female staff. They announced that their father was lost in the Tsunami, there had been no word at all, and they were 'grieving' and would need time off 'intermittently' to deal with family issues. They gathered weepers around them in the staffroom at lunchtimes and breaks- all keen to be in on the drama- claimed they needed to leave at various times and would return the next day.

The Head and staff became increasingly suspicious it was all so random, they would not be available to meet the Head to discuss the situation but always had time to have whisper and a group cry in the staffroom while their acolytes stroked their arms and hair and rubbed their back. It was just weird and staff began to complain it was all very uncomfortable.

Then a phone call came from the person's brother to the Head of Department to say he had heard what was happening and it was a pack of lies. Their father had been estranged from them since they were small children and was living in India with a woman and completely unaffected by the Tsunami, that the person knew that and had no relationship at all with their father. There was no drama in the family and the person had not been leaving work to deal with anything related to their father or the family.

Was interviewed by the Head, admitted it all, no excuse offered, had spent the time either at home or in the Next coffee shop. Admitted it to staff and cried and was again stroked and patted by their emotional acolytes.

Very, very strange. Left immediately. Left teaching for a while and re-appeared as a male teacher in a neighbouring local authority about 2 years later.

I was baffled by it all. It was like a cult of some kind.

I had a brief fling with a semi-famous author who told me he was the father of the actress Lenora Critchlow. Since Critchlow has a Jamaican father, and this man was not Jamaican, I'm not sure how he expected me to believe him.

When we were married, my ex husband bought a commercial property without telling me - when I thought I had found out he lied about the evidence I had found (stupidly I believed him).

It took many more months before I actually found out - not from him - he had probably owned it for about a year by then.

That a colleague had cancer and his wife and two children had been killed in a car accident.

He was actually married to a man, with 2 boyfriends on the side. Never married to a woman. No children. No cancer. All a cover to enable him to steel many thousands from our accounts. We are a charity.

He's in prison now.

I knew someone who said his parents died told this story several time's to different people not realising we would meet.
I asked him why he lied he said he was adopted and wanted sympathy. He wasn't adopted he was a compulsive lier.

Did your Dad live in Liverpool because isn't there a story about Hitler visiting a relative there before he became 'famous'?

Yeah, I remember reading those at the time they came out and thinking 'I KNEW he was a wrong un'... good old spidey senses were strong even at a young age!

My late boss, who I worked for since the age of 16, until the age of 50 when he passed away, lied about his Will. He told me that, as I'd shown such loyalty over the years, he'd be leaving me a substantial amount of money in his Will (life changing). During my employment with him, he made me a partner (which just basically meant that I had no employee rights...including no pension!). He constantly reassured me over the years that I didn't need to pay into a private pension, as he would ensure I was financially secure.

Turns out he'd left me sweet fuck all. So after working for him for 34 years, I was entitled to no redundancy, no pension...and I was/am truly fucked.

I know it's my own fault but I trusted him as he was like a father to me.

An older guy once came up to me in a bar in early 2000s and told me his job was getting rid of computer viruses. Then proceeded to describe taking computers apart and disinfecting them to get rid of the viruses.

I just googled him, what a turd

Another whopper though this one was a slow burner!

Back in the mists of time when I were a nipper and suffering the awfulness of adolescence, I very briefly dated the 'new boy' in school, he was 'dark and mysterious' well he was if you were 15 anyway..

He told us how he was adopted, how there was mysterious circumstances around his adoption... and a lot of other billy-bullshitter tall tales. I dated him for approximately 2 days (long enough to bunk off school with him, for which I got in serious trouble and he totally threw me under the bus!).. On non uniform day he came in in his Army Cadets uniform... claiming he really was in the army (at 15!)...

I forgot about him for four or five years, bumped into him in town, he immediately started spouting stories about how he'd beaten cancer, was working for the secret services, had been stabbed, had been tortured with cigarette burns (showed me the 'stab wound'... a mere scratch of a scar, and the burns...)

I bumped into him again about a year later, he had clearly forgotten some of the stories but he'd rescued a child and been shot.. and showed me the same cigarette burns that were now bullet wounds.

Wind time forward again and some of my old school friends on FB are sharing a few newspaper articles about him and tagging me 'Oi, Widdlin, didn't you get off with him back in 1900andblahdeblah...' cringe...

He'd been caught out, now living in Scotland, pretending to be ex military, getting his photo in the paper with Alex Salmond. Looks like he'd spent his entire life up to that point, telling fantastic and elaborate lies. He'd borrowed uniform and medals... a proper Walter Mitty.

The newspaper articles are still online for those who want to google 2012 'Walter Mitty Alex Salmond' will find them!

Think 15 year old me got away lightly, he duped several woman and was an abusive shit as well as a liar.

Spreadable butter.

At primary school there were 2 sweet shops next door to each other, both always heaving. One of my friends started bringing in £10 notes every day; a fortune for a 9/10 yo to have back then (late ‘80s). She would buy us whatever we wanted and insisted on spending the whole tenner every day, so if the bill was £9.95 she’d buy 5 Penny sweets or whatever.

Her DM didn’t let her have a lot of sweets as she had eczema and wasn’t allowed many E numbers.

We naturally asked where the money was from and she said her grandma had died and left it to her, said it was her DFs DM as other DGM often picked up and dropped off. Imagine the shock my young self got when I was round at hers and grandma is sat on the sofa! We had a falling out and I accused her of being a liar and she still said grandma was dead!

Shed actually been taking the notes out of her piggy bank but was clever enough to do one a day so her parents wouldn’t notice straight away.

I used to work with someone whose tales of his conquests were plucked straight from the ‘Confessions’ films. Women just threw themselves at him; at the gym, the pub, when he nipped to the shop in his break at work.

Nooooo 😫 that's my pet hate. I need people to tell me the truth if I look like shit. 😁 You're doing no one any favours haha!