To ask for some real honest advice

You know the minute you walk out the door for the last time you will feel so much better don't you?
All this self doubt and anxiety is brought on by the poor management which in itself is a form of bullying.
Look after you.. walk away as soon as you can.. even if you have to eat beans for a month it will be better than this.
Deep breath and do it.. they dont deserve you...

Take some steps forward by putting out feelers.

Getting interest in your CV will hopefully remind you that you are sought after.

I have a boss like this so I sympathise. I'm only hanging in because she's on a temporary contract and the rest of work is good.

Is it an in demand industry? Is it worth registering with a recruiter for 'the right role '.

That way it makes it more 'i was headhunted' scenario.

Poor you, sounds horrible. All I can say is I’ve had more jobs than hot dinners, but as it’s a shortage occupation it’s not much of an issue. Give the correct amount of notice, behave professionally, and then be on your way somewhere better! My view has always been that it’s not prison, you are allowed to change jobs when you want to, especially if it’s causing you as much distress as this one.

There’s nothing like a poor employer to drain the confidence from you.

I had 8 months at a local authority like this and I was utterly depressed and broken by the end.

My next interview asked why I was leaving and I asked if I could be candid. I was honestly but professional. Got the job, 50% pay increase and I’ve been there 9 years.

Leave as soon as you are able.

I should have said that I’m sorry you work for my old boss 😉. It can cause a toll on a person to start questioning their ability, not mention sanity.

Start looking now, it may take you awhile to find something.

The longer you leave it in a toxic environment the les capable you are of getting a new job. It sucks your self esteem and drains your confidence. I’m hoping to be in a position to resign tomorrow. Explained about my unprofessional boss breeding a negative working environment in interviews and heads nodded. It was appreciated as an absolutely legitimate reason to leave.

As someone who leaves their toxic job tomorrow, after only 5 months, please do it, I was going in with panic attacks, and it wasn't worth it for mental health, I'm only on minimum wage, most are on a lot more, I was the scapegoat! I can't wait to leave tomorrow!

Local Authority?

A friend is on her 3rd job since covid. She had zero issues getting the latest gig.

A lot of companies have chopped and changed staff quite frequently themselves in this period, so I don't think it's currently the CV killer it used to be.

Didn't mean to assume your boss was a woman in previous message (mine was and I had her in mind when I replied to you.)

I do think these days I might stand up, pleasantly, to this sort of bullshit. So if I did some work and they rubbished it, then I asked for a steer and they said, do as you please, I'd say, 'I did. You have vetoed it so I need a clear steer from you on exactly what you would approve, so no more time is wasted.'

If they say something like, 'I can't do it for you' or 'You should know what you are doing by now,' you can come back with: 'I do know what I am doing but it doesn't meet your specific approval. Unless you share your vision with me we will keep going around in circles.'

On a different project I had a boss who was pissed off I'd been brought in to do the fun part of the project and he kept undermining me, so I built a strong rapport with the team and we presented a tight united front. That works too. Develop other relationships within the company and your team specifically, to keep you on an even keel.

And as PP have said, no shame in looking for work elsewhere.

You need to manage this. You are clearly perfectly capable if you have held down 60k jobs. I have worked for someone like your boss before and I vacillated between cowering and fuming.

Ways to handle it: if they rewrite an email - look at the rewrite. If it is clearer, mire succinct or more in the house style, just learn from it and think of this as helpful. If there's no material difference to the email, consider this egotistical tinkering on their part and don't let it cloud your judgement. If they've actually sabotaged what was clear and made it more wordy or less clear, just revert to your version and send it.

On big projects, put two or three approaches to the project in writing and ask which she prefers. Or ask someone else. If, as you say, people tend to be collaborative at this place, are there experienced people on the team who you can discuss things with regarding house style/what tends to get approval/what tends to get sent back to be redone etc, so you are better prepped before the manager looks it over.

Another tactic I found useful with someone like this, is just to ask for clarity on what you need and utterly ignore any emotional weight given your request by the manager. So if they are irritated, or sneery, or make belittling remarks, just tick them off on your mental batshit boss bingo scorecard and listen out for the factual feedback you need. Respond neutrally at all times as if no attempt had been made to manipulate you.

I wouldn't worry about your CV here. You can state your reasons for leaving both your two previous jobs, and any new employer will understand that sometimes a job just isn't right and that people want to leave. I once started applying for jobs after five or six months and I got the first thing I applied for.

If you are worried about it being too short a time frame, you can say you are on a temporary contract for maternity cover.

Start looking for a new job. For so long I had this idea that you have to be in a role 2 years, but it was so arbitrary! Apply for a job - if they think you are a job hopper, they won't invite you for an interview and you are no worse off than you are now. If they think you are ambitious and career driven then they will invite you for an interview and you may end up a lot better off.
Good luck 🍀

You know what, I was in your position and stuck it out and things only got worse. So I’d leave if I were you. I’m currently hunting for a new job. I think if anything staying in this environment has impacted my confidence more than the reputation of “job hopping” would have