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Original poster

To orchestrate a play date to get this dad's number?

220 replies

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 16:05

My daughter is friendly with another girl at her school who is slightly older and in a different class. We (me and DD) bump into her and her dad most days on the school run and the girls get along really well.

I'd like to get to know him better but I'm far too shy to just say that, so would it be unreasonable to use a play date as a reason to get his number? 😂

He's a single father, mother isn't on the scene.

WDYT?

OP posts:
DanielGault · 23/05/2024 18:15

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 18:13

Because asking him on a date would feel completely inappropriate as at this stage I don't even know if we have anything in common..

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So why do you need to orchestrate anything then? Wait and see if anything comes about organically on the off chance you do have things in common.

Pablova · 23/05/2024 18:15

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 18:03

Orchestrate. I thought I made that fairly clear.

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Oh behave.

Original poster
JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 18:13

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 18:10

It's pretty much literally the title of the thread though!

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Because asking him on a date would feel completely inappropriate as at this stage I don't even know if we have anything in common..

OP posts:
Stylishcooncil · 23/05/2024 18:12

@Didimum

They’re friends. Theres no drama in them having a play date. It’s not using your kid to organise a play date with a friend.

You must be reading a different thread as that's exactly what OP is suggesting Confused

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 18:10

Didimum · 23/05/2024 18:08

They’re friends. Theres no drama in them having a play date. It’s not using your kid to organise a play date with a friend.

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It's pretty much literally the title of the thread though!

Didimum · 23/05/2024 18:08

Mayflower282 · 23/05/2024 18:06

If he was interested he would be approaching you. Men go after what they want. He is not interested. Stay away from him!

Wonderful. The 1950s have arrived on the thread.

Didimum · 23/05/2024 18:08

Stylishcooncil · 23/05/2024 18:04

@Didimum

Sure if you’re lumping your child with another kid they don’t know or have no interest in, but the children are friendly and presumably like each other, so what’s the issue?

I don't think I could have been clearer tbh. Using the kids is the issue. If OP wants his number so she can get to know him better she should ask for it; not use the children.

They’re friends. Theres no drama in them having a play date. It’s not using your kid to organise a play date with a friend.

samestyle · 23/05/2024 18:07

I don't see an issue with it, I'm sure your not planning to stalk or bombard him with messages, it's just a way to connect, if he likes you, he will let you know.

Didimum · 23/05/2024 18:06

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 17:59

No,they just ask! 'Surely you must understand that orchestrate has a very different meaning?

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I can’t even count how many people I know who have procured colleagues numbers to get to know them better socially. It’s extremely common. They find a mutual interest or middle ground and it gets the ball rolling. You might not even want to end up dating them, it’s just a chance to meet up and chat properly when the office or the school playground or whatever isn’t going to present that opportunity.

Mayflower282 · 23/05/2024 18:06

If he was interested he would be approaching you. Men go after what they want. He is not interested. Stay away from him!

pinkdays · 23/05/2024 18:05

Folks on here are mental. Some of the comments are hilarious

Go for it Op. Safe way to get to know him. May turn into a good friend if not boyfriend material. It's how people meet.

Original poster
JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 18:05

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 18:03

Orchestrate. I thought I made that fairly clear.

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Don't you talk dirty to me.

OP posts:
Stylishcooncil · 23/05/2024 18:04

@Didimum

Sure if you’re lumping your child with another kid they don’t know or have no interest in, but the children are friendly and presumably like each other, so what’s the issue?

I don't think I could have been clearer tbh. Using the kids is the issue. If OP wants his number so she can get to know him better she should ask for it; not use the children.

Goodadvice1980 · 23/05/2024 18:04

I think if he was interested perhaps he would’ve suggested the play date before now.

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 18:03

Didimum · 23/05/2024 18:01

Can you paste the exact words that are creepy? Many thanks.

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Orchestrate. I thought I made that fairly clear.

Original poster
JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 18:03

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 18:01

Well, I'd advise choosing your words more carefully in future. Because you've made yourself sound like a creep.

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Oh stop it 😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 18:02

pinkdays · 23/05/2024 17:59

Whit? That's some leap FFS

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Tell me about it.

We might not even have anything in common, I might discover that he's a raging Tory.. for example 🤣

I don't think there's any harm in wanting to chat with somebody is there?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 23/05/2024 18:02

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 17:28

He's definitely a lone parent, everything his DD has said corroborates that. He was awarded sole custody. I'm absolutely certain the mother isn't on the scene.

I guess that doesn't rule out having a different girlfriend though..

Is it creepy, really? I won't bother then 😬

Edited

How about asking him out for a coffee after you've dropped the kids at school?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 23/05/2024 18:02

Go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Didimum · 23/05/2024 18:01

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 18:01

Well, I'd advise choosing your words more carefully in future. Because you've made yourself sound like a creep.

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Can you paste the exact words that are creepy? Many thanks.

Catandsquirrel · 23/05/2024 18:01

Wow some of the catastrophising and even data being brought into it!!

I don't think it's a terrible idea but would personally prefer to be asked out separately from the kids' friendship. He might feel if the girls are closer than currently and you have these playdates happening it becomes a bit of a doorstep shitting situation whereas a plain old invitation for a drink as things are keeps it simple.

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 18:01

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 17:59

Yes, get his number to arrange a play date.

During which I'd have the opportunity to get to know him a bit better, which is my intention.

I'm not planning on asking him for a shag.

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Well, I'd advise choosing your words more carefully in future. Because you've made yourself sound like a creep.

Didimum · 23/05/2024 18:01

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 17:57

Your thread title is about orchestrating a playdate specifically to get a man's number. You're being disingenuous here.

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To get to know him more – you know, like adults do all the time. Do you think OP is going to open the door in her lingerie and leave a trail of rose petals to the bedroom?

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 17:59

Didimum · 23/05/2024 17:58

Of course she’s met him organically. She met him through the school run. And yes of course people orchestrate getting others’ numbers if they meet at work. Gigs, book clubs, sporting events, etc. Happens frequently.

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No,they just ask! 'Surely you must understand that orchestrate has a very different meaning?

pinkdays · 23/05/2024 17:59

HappyAutumnFields · 23/05/2024 16:33

Only if your child isn’t going to have to deal with the potential fallout when you shag him and are ungluing yourself from him when his partner who works shifts, doesn’t do school runs but is very much present, shows up in the doorway.

Whit? That's some leap FFS

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