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Original poster

To orchestrate a play date to get this dad's number?

220 replies

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 16:05

My daughter is friendly with another girl at her school who is slightly older and in a different class. We (me and DD) bump into her and her dad most days on the school run and the girls get along really well.

I'd like to get to know him better but I'm far too shy to just say that, so would it be unreasonable to use a play date as a reason to get his number? 😂

He's a single father, mother isn't on the scene.

WDYT?

OP posts:
DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:42

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 21:41

🍪

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Can I get a cup of tea with that?

Original poster
JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 21:41

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:40

Huh?

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🍪

OP posts:
DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:40

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 21:36

At this point I'm convinced that you feel threatened by other parents at your child's school, it reaks of projection Daniel. I am the furthest thing from a sleaze.

Edited

Huh?

Original poster
JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 21:36

At this point I'm convinced that you feel threatened by other parents at your child's school, it reaks of projection Daniel. I am the furthest thing from a sleaze.

OP posts:
Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:36

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:35

Right so.

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Glad we’re in agreement.

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:35

Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:31

Strange you confuse ‘faux naivety’ with very simple questions. But OK, I get it now. You can’t explain it. Otherwise you would.

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Right so.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 23/05/2024 21:34

Her daughter is 'friendly' with the girl not a best friend, if it didn't work out with the dad op can easily avoid him

I'm sure your daughter will be thrilled with a play date with the older girl

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 23/05/2024 21:32

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 17:28

He's definitely a lone parent, everything his DD has said corroborates that. He was awarded sole custody. I'm absolutely certain the mother isn't on the scene.

I guess that doesn't rule out having a different girlfriend though..

Is it creepy, really? I won't bother then 😬

Edited

It's not!!

I bet you the judgy people are not single parents. When you find someone you fancy you need to run with it!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 23/05/2024 21:31

My friends ex married another parents and it worked out great the step siblings were already pals and so excited about it

Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:31

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:29

No. Your faux naivety doesn't wash. Have a think about it or just live with the fact that you don't understand my point.

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Strange you confuse ‘faux naivety’ with very simple questions. But OK, I get it now. You can’t explain it. Otherwise you would.

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:29

Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:26

Yeah, ok. Can you stop just using adjectives and explain why in OP’s particular context.

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No. Your faux naivety doesn't wash. Have a think about it or just live with the fact that you don't understand my point.

Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:26

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:24

Because it's sleazy.

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Yeah, ok. Can you stop just using adjectives and explain why in OP’s particular context.

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:24

Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:24

Why?

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Because it's sleazy.

Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:24

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:23

By lots and lots of people here. And rightly so imo.

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Why?

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:23

Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:22

Would he? By who? You?

And I didn’t ask if a man would get roasted for it. I asked what sex had to do with anything.

Edited
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By lots and lots of people here. And rightly so imo.

Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:22

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:21

It's mank. A man would get roasted for it.

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Would he? By who? You?

And I didn’t ask if a man would get roasted for it. I asked what sex had to do with anything.

DanielGault · 23/05/2024 21:21

Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:17

Cool. Sorry, what does that have to do with anything?

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It's mank. A man would get roasted for it.

Didimum · 23/05/2024 21:17

albertoross · 23/05/2024 20:59

You don't use your kids to get sex

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Cool. Sorry, what does that have to do with anything?

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/05/2024 21:12

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 18:28

It is yes, they break up tomorrow.

Sod it I'll just ask tomorrow 🙂

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Good yes. Please do. My friend and I befriended a SAHD at a surestart centre when the kids were tots and he said it was really awkward to find parents willing to hang with as he was the only dad. It was clear none of us were looking for a relationship. Friend and I were both married and he was living with his partner, his ds’s mum. On this basis alone and even if you find ultimately you don’t have a connection, he will likely appreciate the gesture and your dds will have a great time.

HappyAutumnFields · 23/05/2024 20:59

50DiddlySquats · 23/05/2024 20:58

I must be missing something here…what about all the mums who arrange play dates on mat leave and through nursery whose kids are far too young to understand/care about friendship? Are they not also “using their kids” to get mates?

I don’t think anyone arranges ‘play dates’ for babies. They’re parent dates to keep adults from going mad, surely.

albertoross · 23/05/2024 20:59

Didimum · 23/05/2024 19:31

Yet no one seems to be able to actually set out what is wrong with it or what the harm done by it is. If there is no harm done by it then how is it wrong?

Moral postulation is rather useless without a justification of the actual reason.

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You don't use your kids to get sex

50DiddlySquats · 23/05/2024 20:58

I must be missing something here…what about all the mums who arrange play dates on mat leave and through nursery whose kids are far too young to understand/care about friendship? Are they not also “using their kids” to get mates?

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 23/05/2024 19:41

The title gave me the impression you were thinking of pursuing a playdate purely to chat him up. Your further posts give me a different impression though. If the kids are getting on though I'd try to arrange a playdate for their sake. If you end up really hitting it off with the dad as a side effect then I'd advise you to tread pretty carefully because if it goes wrong it could make school pretty awkward all round. On the other hand, you might live happily ever after together so I wouldn't completely rule it out. Just, as I said, tread carefully.

Daisylookslost · 23/05/2024 19:36

@5128gap well this is sensible advice! Hummmm… if the two kids really are good friends, and assuming they’re close in age despite not being in same school year, then a play date is a normal occurrence no? Both and your child and yourself (?) would be benefiting from it. No harm in casually saying something like, ‘got to run but, if your daughter would like a play date with mine over HT just give me a text?’ No need to arrange it there and then. He would then have your number and the ball would be his his court.
oooh keep us updated what happens 🍿 😅 seriously tho good luck with it OP, if he’s had a rubbish past experience in the relationship with his daughter’s mother he might be once bitten twice shy 🤔 something to keep in mind. Also this play date if it does happen will give you the chance not just to get to know him a bit but to rule out a girlfriend…

VeganFromSveden · 23/05/2024 19:35

JaneDough... your idea sounds reasonable to me.
The two girls are friends anyway.
You're not gonna jump on the guy and embarrass him-you-the kids.
All you're planning to do is maybe to see if there is an interest there from either of you.
If you don't put a careful toe in the water, you won't know if it's icy or not.
s an aside, you sound so fun, and I wish you luck.
Do come back and tell us all about it, and how inappropriately (joking of course !) you behaved....

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