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AIBU?

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Original poster

To orchestrate a play date to get this dad's number?

220 replies

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 16:05

My daughter is friendly with another girl at her school who is slightly older and in a different class. We (me and DD) bump into her and her dad most days on the school run and the girls get along really well.

I'd like to get to know him better but I'm far too shy to just say that, so would it be unreasonable to use a play date as a reason to get his number? 😂

He's a single father, mother isn't on the scene.

WDYT?

OP posts:
ForLovingGreenDog · 30/05/2024 11:51

Hi OP! I realise you may have already made a decision,and acted on it, however you are absolutely not being unreasonable. At all, not even in the slightest. As long as the children are both happy to have a play date, then it's win/win all around. You will get to know this man better in his natural circumstances, and he in yours. As single parents especially, that's crucial. As to concerns raised about what happens if a relationship doesn't work out, that's the case across the board. Some couples meet through work, or in the same sports club, or have a relationship with someone living in the same street. Meeting through your child's school is no different, and as to awkwardness if the relationship doesn't work out, you only need to cross that bridge, IF you come to it. I wish you well with whatever you decide. Have fun, be yourself and stay safe!

OhmygodDont · 30/05/2024 07:35

Jk987 · 29/05/2024 21:26

Seriously? You sound as if you feel threatened somehow!

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Eugh that’s a bit of a leap don’t you think. I mean I know mn like to reach at times but geez 😂😂

Jack80 · 30/05/2024 05:47

Do it, you only live once

sunflowerdaisyrose · 30/05/2024 00:14

I don't see anything wrong with it as the children are friends! I've used my children to make platonic friendships loads, toddler groups/other school mums/fellow parents at extra curricular activities.

One i definitely encouraged a play date as I really liked the mum at the school gate - the dad ended up bringing his daughter and he was fascinating with a really interesting job so didn't quite work out how I'd imagined but was fun all the same!

Stripeysocks1981 · 29/05/2024 23:59

Oh fgs 😂 some of the replies here! Mumsnet hysteria at its best.
Go for it OP 😊 I have a friend who met her now partner through the kids-they were school friends. Kids now grown up, my friend and her partner are happily living together.

faspjen · 29/05/2024 23:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

SweetFemaleAttitude · 29/05/2024 23:33

I find it a bit ick also and if it were a male, posing the same question in the way you worded it, I would think he was an absolute creep.

Finallyfree41 · 29/05/2024 23:30

Op I met my husband in the exact scenario you describe with this single dad!
He asked me out but was the best decision ever! Go for it!

Lgtv · 29/05/2024 22:02

Do it :)

Jk987 · 29/05/2024 21:35

Hmm1234 · 29/05/2024 19:11

It’s giving smutty desperate vibes…

Don't worry, it's not your husband, it's someone who is single and she wants to get to know a bit more.

Jk987 · 29/05/2024 21:34

Bogeyes · 29/05/2024 21:23

Don't crap on your own doorstep

How is it crapping?

Jk987 · 29/05/2024 21:33

I think the negative posters are worried the OP is after their husbands! No she's not interested! She just quite likes the look of one of the single school Dad. No prowling, sleaze, manipulation, shagging around (unless she wants to). Why is everyone so judgmental and out of touch? 😂

Jk987 · 29/05/2024 21:28

TheYearOfSmallThings · 23/05/2024 16:48

I just don't think you should use your child to pick up men. A dog, yes, fine.

Pick up men? What are you talking about? A single woman wants to meet a single man in real life and you have a problem with it.

Jk987 · 29/05/2024 21:26

OhmygodDont · 23/05/2024 16:39

I duno. Prowling the school playground for dates feels off somewhat…

Seriously? You sound as if you feel threatened somehow!

Jk987 · 29/05/2024 21:25

HappyAutumnFields · 23/05/2024 16:33

Only if your child isn’t going to have to deal with the potential fallout when you shag him and are ungluing yourself from him when his partner who works shifts, doesn’t do school runs but is very much present, shows up in the doorway.

Nice to see the optimistic, non judgemental side of things 😬

Bogeyes · 29/05/2024 21:23

Don't crap on your own doorstep

goingdownfighting · 29/05/2024 19:21

Just chat with him at a party or at the school gates and suggest a coffee or something if he's free and take it from there. No need to involve the kids.

Or if you want to be traditional get a mutual friend involved.

PhotoFirePoet · 29/05/2024 19:13

Didimum · 23/05/2024 17:32

Go for it, OP. Good luck! No point asking MN as you’ll just get a bunch of criticism.

This

PhotoFirePoet · 29/05/2024 19:12

Goldengirl123 · 23/05/2024 16:43

I did and happily married now for 25 years

So it can work out 😊

Hmm1234 · 29/05/2024 19:11

It’s giving smutty desperate vibes…

StrawberrySquash · 29/05/2024 18:06

EthicalBlend · 27/05/2024 16:06

I think it's a good idea to be friends, and even more than friends, with a parent whose daughter your daughter already likes. However, I think you should be honest right up front. I'm a man; if I even suspected someone was manipulating me in that way, that would be the last either you or yours would see of me and mine.

I don't see it as manipulation. It's getting to know a person. If there's nothing there then nothing lost.

IsThisOneAvailable · 29/05/2024 18:02

JaneDough94 · 27/05/2024 20:01

We didn't see them, I don't think she was at school on the last two days ☹️

A sign from the universe that I need to wind my neck in perhaps? 😂

Judging by everyone else's ridiculous comments, it doesn't sound like it is your neck you're putting out there 😅😅

Ndmor · 29/05/2024 14:25

Go for it, life is too short. If the kids get on, organise a play date/ coffee for you guys. If girls don't get on then don't force it- you might make a friend if nothing else.
Nothing wrong with trying to get to know someone more and offering the girls the opportunity too!

RedHelenB · 28/05/2024 10:38

JaneDough94 · 23/05/2024 18:13

Because asking him on a date would feel completely inappropriate as at this stage I don't even know if we have anything in common..

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Isn't that he point of a date though. to find out of you have anything in common and if there's a " spark"?

dicokno · 28/05/2024 10:30

I wouldn't use a playdate with your children as a way to get know him better. It's a bit creepy really - asking for a phone number to organize a playdate when actually it's because you want his number so you can get to know him better.
I'd start by trying to chat to him a bit more in the playground and take it from there.

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