How to not get jealous of luckily wealthy people?

My cousin once said to me 'you've lucked out haven't you'. As I had met and married at 40 to a well paid man and had two children easily.
Except I developed type 1 diabetes in my first pregnancy and seven years later my husband died suddenly. And my DD was diagnosed with MS at 17.
On the outside people and families may looked blessed, and maybe some are. But you never really know.
I wouldn't want to be Pippa Middleton with all that public scrutiny.

But you're not bothered by people who are naturally beautiful, OP? Maybe because you're beautiful yourself, but I do think life is easier for people who are beautiful and not neurodivergent.

The rest of us just have to be glad we have a mortgage and aren't renting and we can afford to buy our DC wheat they need.

Most people don't have a cleaner, even if they worked really hard at school and uni.

@Bluesky91 so sorry about your business COVID ruined so much! We are both really busy with work at the moment and don't have a cleaner.

Honestly we have just taken to surviving most weeks and gutting the house once a month. It helps it's a building site hence no cleaner!

Could one of the teenagers help after GCSE in exchange for a few lifts or a little bit of extra pocket money?

I can't see why I'd aspire to be someone who lives off someone else and has not accomplished anything noteworthy.

There’s always someone richer OP and in all honesty you have no idea of what’s going on under the surface with all these people.

My experience of those who come from wealthy backgrounds is that there is usually so much pressure to be successful. Certainly as successful as their parents and if they don’t, they consider themselves to be failures and if they do, it is assumed to be because their parents have helped them out and it’s never on their own merit.

People with lots of money still have worries and fears like the rest of us. Similar to how you have a mortgage and are living paycheck to paycheck but would be considered very fortunate by those who have to rely on food banks and will never own their own home.

Added that to my OH - not solo.

Whats HC?

Have you watched Succession?

You can get a t̶i̶n̶y̶ ̶b̶i̶t̶ smug when you have a proper pension you earned and the SAHM mothers don't. Proof you mattered? But obviously you don't rub it in..😀

Things do get easier financially for most people. Children become independent, mortgages get paid off. The only downside is that you are old and don't care or your health is shot and you really don't care. Make the most of what you have.

I worked in HC when I was a teenager and in my 20’s. Travelled the world too. I realised early on the best gift you can have is to be positive and content. Many rich people are just as miserable as their poorer counterparts. It’s just a different kind of misery.

You and only you are in control of how you live your one life on this earth.

from my experience a lot of money comes with strings attached. My dad offered to buy us a house we could live in rent free but he wanted a house that would be a 'good investment' and in an area that was ripe for gentrification. Most mumsnetters would not necessarily want to live in such a place and neither did we (which is why we didn't accept the help and bought with our savings).

A lot of those people who have money from parents, you don't necessarily see what their parents wanted from them in exchange for the money. Most rich people do not like to give away money with no strings attached, they probably wouldn't stay rich for very long if they were in a habit of doing that.

My life is shit too, but not relentlessly. I try to focus on the good bits and try and accept the shit bits as temporary, albeit long lasting and annoyingly persistent, obstacles

I just place them in a different category. It's like saying, how do you not get jealous of Hollywood A-listers? They are so far removed from my life and experience that there's no possibility I could ever have been one, ergo, not worth letting my imagination go near that possibility.

I'm Jealous. Wish I wasn't like this but I am for example the wealth of the Beckhams just drowns me with Depression when I'm looking for every single penny I can find and it just makes my life more miserable when I think of the Beckhams etc wealth.

I was born into a rich family and i didn't do well at my RG university or marry rich but still fell on my feet as my husband's mother allowed us to live in her home rent free for three years so we bought our flat in London relatively easily in our 20s even though we weren't on great incomes at that time. My dad also offered to buy a home we could live in rent free while we saved in London (though we had saved enough money by that time). So in a sense, no real money problems; we did struggle a bit when we first married as DH was still doing his masters but that was only for a year and we were young so it seemed very romantic.

We are TTC now and facing issues and it could be that while we have a higher income/more stability than many parents in London, we just may not have children and thats life.

I'm trying hard not to be jealous of those 'luckily wealthy ' people but it is definitely difficult. I am well aware that I'm more fortunate than many, but it can still be tough when others have it better just by chance.
The reason I'm trying so hard not to be jealous though, is simply that I want to BE one of them. I'd like good fortune to come my way effortlessly when everything feels like a daily slog.
I will keep plodding on but I'm never losing hope!

I don't feel envous of those more financially wealthy than me.
I feel envious of those who are healthier.

I have a genetic illness which will mean I'm lucky to make it to middle age. I still have the same pressures as everyone else, full time work, family etc - with the added pressure of time ticking away and constantly feeling unwell. I can only work from home so I have limited job options plus i am off work often for medical appointments

I haven't felt well for about 20 years. So no, i'm not jealous of people with a mansion, im envious of people my age going abroad on holidays

OP, don't you think that's a weird attitude to start off with. I don't understand your mind set. You taint your own life.

You can be all bitter and twisted up about someone else having more than you, or you can get on with enjoying the life you do have - a relatively affluent life with a husband and children, and a good job and your own home.

I come from a FSM background. I'm a single mum of one DS. I have a reasonable job and a tatty house. No partner. I'm recovering from BC.

And I love ❤every part of every day. I am grateful to be here, to be well and see ds grow up. He hit 5'10" today. A milestone. I had a new kitchen tap fitted this morning - I'm enjoying the fact that the plumbing works properly again. I saw two hares and some muntjac on the school run this afternoon. Beautiful.

I don't have half what you do, but life is sweet. Who gives a toss what others have. It's totally irrelevant.

If you see money as the goal, the best possible thing, then it's easy to be jealous.
I see very rich relatives and their friends living in gorgeous building but depressed as anything because they are alone, their life has no meaning, members of the opposite sex are after their money, they mix in very shallow circles and consequently.worry about stupid things.
If you can find what really.makes you happy, what you will be thinking about on your deathbed, it won't be money. Pursue that.
For me it is being with my dogs in a sunny garden, reading a book. Cuddling my kids. The people I love being healthy. In the end a car is a car, a house is a house, if they do the job, they don't need to be fancy, clothes are clothes. Maybe doing something that feeds your spirit would be good OP?

It also annoys me/ makes me jealous.

I think it's the feeling of working very hard, relentlessly, but then feeling like there isn't a huge amount to show for it (yes, lucky to have basic security as not everyone does), and it feels impossible to extend yourself further to get further. People always respond about others who are worse off, but it isn't a race to the bottom.

It would have been easier to marry a rich (or comfortable) man, rather than slave away at uni etc.

It's ok to feel pissed off sometimes. It's bonkers that we are all meant to feel grateful and blessed all the time.
Sometimes life can feel a bit shit.

It’s normal OP. Everyone has their own shit though. I wouldn’t swap.