How to not get jealous of luckily wealthy people?

@Bluesky91
Oh the irony in your username.
I'm sorry that COVID took your business, but you have 2 choices you can wallow in your own misery or make changes.
Of course you have time to wash your hair and exercise, you are choosing not to.
Your kids and DH should be helping with the housework, you are being a martyr because it suits your narrative.
You say you've worked hard at school / uni so use some of that motivation to upskill, move jobs, or retrain to earn more income.
EVERY day set aside 30 minutes for yourself build it into your daily routine, even if it's getting off the bus a stop early and walking further to and from work.
Everyone in the house tidies a little each day, or has a responsibility, dishes, hoovering etc.
DH doesn't get away from it because of work, neither do your kids - it's a good lesson to learn that you must juggle life & school, not just one or the other.
Set a timer at the weekend for the length of time you'd have a cleaner say an hour and EVERYONE mucks in, chuck some music on get going then do something after as a treat.
You get one life OP, comparison is the thief of joy!

At the moment we get by because I get UC as a single parent, and my child gets DLA. At some stage the kids will hopefully be independent and no longer live here, I’ll then have the bedroom tax to pay on 2 rooms, a massively reduced income, my health is getting worse and due to raising SEN kids alone for the last 2 decades I haven’t had much in the way of meaningful employment, so even if my health does miraculously improve I probably won’t be able to find a job that pays me much more than NMW. I’ll have the state pension when if and when I get to that age, and that will be it. Downsizing is a possibility, but things would still be very tight.

I have to say that I think op is a bit disconnected from reality.

A woman came on here to say that she can't work because she is in chronic pain, that she has no partner, and she has two children with special needs.

OP then asked her "what could you have to worry about financially".

OP you're extremely lucky for a start that you have a partner to help you in life, and to help you raise your children.

Many men leave , walk away, do nothing to help the children etc

Love this attitude!

I am not wealthy at all. But I never begrudge people their wealth. Thing is, if I had a lot of money, I would want to pass it down to my kids. That would mean they would not have to work so hard. Which parent would not want to do that?

why do I not begrudge wealth? Because I want my own loved ones to be wealthy and successful, all of them. I wish I could help them. I would like all of them to be successful, honourably so, and then hand it down to their kids.

I cannot understand wealth envy. If you won the lotto, did you earn it and what would you do with it? What if you inherit say, £100k from a relative, have you earned it? No. Who would then get it, if not your kids, your own loved ones?

Whilst some wealthy people are corrupt, most are not. I despise people who do nothing and continually claim from the tax payer even though they could work, and why? because they literally cost people like me money I can hardly afford thanks to recent events.

I’m sorry you feel like this. Just want to reassure you that you are not alone. I feel I could have written this. I’ve worked hard my whole life. Dropped hours at work when I had children and to take the burden off my husband trying to build a business. Well I’m still part time and 10 years he has barely progressed. I’m earning more than him

Yet alll my friends and siblings married rich people and have a lovely lifestyle.

Can only hope things will get better soon

I'm also trying to show you that money is not everything.

Some people can only dream of a loving family.

Or having a loving partner.

Or having great health.

I was just talking to a man who was paraplegic. He couldn't move anything in his body from the neck down. He was in a special wheelchair.

I was talking to him. He said " I'm still happy. I can still watch movies. I can still see the sunset."

Your dc will finish gcse soon in few weeks.
Then they can buck up and start helping in the house
Cook clean washing their own etc clothes

It’s always tough when you come to the realisation that life is not fair :(

We are talking about jealousy.

The point is that you are saying that you are jealous of others, for having more money than you.

When we could say to you, that some people could only dream of the life you have. Of having your good health.

She has to worry financially, Because she can't work, she has no partner to help, and she has to pay to look after two kids?

Anyone that I know that is on benefits, definitely is not rolling in money

Hope things improve. I do know where you are coming from. I know someone that tells her daughter they have a nice mortgage free house from pure hard work. Yes they do work but she got gifted her first deposit. Had an affair and left her first husband in London and got half the house money so she only needed a small mortgage. Remarried and her husband parents died which is sad but got 300k. She is,surprised we need to down size to get out mortgage down.

Hope things feel easier soon op, try and get the kids helping and dh helping when he can

What?

She has a lot to worry about.

She said she is in bad health.
She said she is in pain every day
And she said she has no partner to help her. That she raises two kids totally by herself.

How could you seriously ask her, "what's the worry about"?

OP you probably have things that some other people can only dream of.

Do you have good health?

My mother had polio as a child and could never walk very well. She often dreamed of being able to run and walk.

Did you have both parents growing up?

Many people, including me, wish that they had a father etc etc.

Try to look at what you do have

The day I realised that worrying about what others may or may not have, was the day I realised that it doesn’t put bread on my table!

Ive never had a cleaner, I’ve being one along time ago, for extra money and I learnt from that, I don’t want my business gossiped about.

Perhaps put a few items on eBay, I have a couple of very wealthy friends, they go on holiday, come home wash the holiday clothes and sell them on eBay, sometimes for more than they paid for them.

If you set up a business before, and you know exactly why it failed, can you roll it out on a smaller scale?

We live at the best time ever to be alive, almost all of us is in the top 1% worldwide in terms of income and living standards. People are camping out in tents in horrendous conditions just to get into our country. We have good healthcare available on tap. Entertainment on tap. Free education at primary and secondary level. Seriously I could not care that there are people wealthier than I am where I live. I’ve had serious childhood trauma and very difficult mental health issues that I’ve gotten through so I am absolutely beyond blessed. If I had the chance to live anyone else’s life ever I never would. Gratitude is what gets you through and I am bloody grateful for what I have.

I’m one of those mums who lives in a council house and does the odd bit of work here and there (not cash in hand, it’s all declared but I don’t earn enough to pay any tax). Probably looks like I’m living the dream, hanging out with my dog and not having to get up for work in the morning.

In reality, I would LOVE to be working full time. I can’t because I have a chronic health condition, which makes every day a painful struggle. I have 2 DC with SEN who I’m the sole carer for, and that brings more stress and meetings/paperwork than you can ever imagine. I’m really depressed and really don’t get much joy out of life at all. I also have no pension and I’m scared shitless about my future.

But you wouldn’t know any of that just by seeing my social media posts, you’d think I have a charmed life. There’s always more to things than meets the eye.

Money does not buy health and happiness either

No, but it does make illness and sadness easier!

I understand the sentiment, but it's also important to acknowledge the truth: wealth is a huge advantage. While it won't insulate you from all hardship, it's easier to cope with anything when you don't have to worry about money as well.

Life is unfair and some people definitely have advantages. It's ok to resent it, to have occasional jealousy, as long as you don't get consumed by it.

Exactly think of what you have, not what you've haven't.
Money does not buy health and happiness either.

I'm mostly sanguine, shrug at the success of others, keep expectations modest. If we exceed, that's brilliant.

However, there's one local trustafarian family who I wallow in their misfortune (they took the piss over a favour years ago). Honestly, if I can stick the knife in and twist it just a little, we love it. Because I'm so lovely to everyone else, it's allowable.

I think it's going to be important for the next generation to point out the real backing behind creative careers, internships, nepobaby work experience. It's really damaging to pretend it's all hard work and making your own sandwiches. So we use the local trustafarian family to highlight to our kids and their friends and talk about how you can work around it for a goal.

Healthcare