To sell my house and try and get a council house? To think I'm too poor to own?

Others have given good advice about the overall situation you find yourself in. To focus just on the wet wall you found yesterday - most of the country had exceptional rainfall in 24 hours - did this happen where you are? We had a similar situation last year on a day like that. When we had someone out it wasn't a roof failure, but very bad luck with the rain and wind direction that meant water had flowed under some flashing. The fix was relatively quick and inexpensive, so don't panic yet until you've had someone look at it.

Get Roofer to look at roof - it might be a simple repair (slipped tile or something) which is not too costly then you can decide what to do.

If expensive take in a lodger or even two if you can manage it. Not ideal I know but it will give you an immediate inflow of cash. Turn your livingroom into a bedroom if you have to. I know it's rubbish but it's short term

Get your roof fixed with the cash. Put any spare aside from lodgers for future repairs.

When lodgers leave you can decide whether to take in more or not.

If you hate it you can ask them to leave as soon as you can afford it

Don't sell your house. You will end up homeless or in temporary and have to get rid of your dog. Moving costs a fortune anyway and they usually want upfront money for photo's and home report.

Sorry for your troubles

My friend with 3 kids with SEND has been on the waiting list for 4 years. If you're in London then I absolutely wouldn't sell my house to get on a council waiting list. It will take years to get a house and probably in a very undesirablelocation.

You already have a home, you need to find a way to make it work for you. Most people in a council waiting list will think you're mad to sell to go on a waiting list. You're not even guaranteed a home, just a place on the waiting list.

Can you take another p/t remote role or change to a f/t remote role to increase your income?
https://www.charityjob.co.uk/jobs?workplace=remote

Firstly do you get all the benefits you are entitled to?
Have you written down exactly how much you have to spend a month?
Have you written down and costed any urgent repairs?

You are overstretched and struggling but that doesn’t mean you can’t make it work. Buying a house is a real uphill battle and you’ve done the first bit but the next stage is often very hand to mouth. Typically everything falls apart and needs replacing and it’s al invisible like tanks and roofs and electrics. On top of that everyone is struggling to feed themselves and keep warm and dry at the moment. It’s hard but I would hang on as long as you possibly can.

Whtly can't youngest attend wrap around? Can he change schools to somewhere that suits better to enable you to work full time?

That all sounds overwhelming OP. You definitely need advice and the citizens advice will also do a check to make sure you’re getting everything you’re entitled to.

I totally understand you wanting to sell up and get out but don’t do it without lots of advice. Depending on where you live there can be a minimum of 2 years wait for social housing for people in the highest band.

Itemise your spends, swap utility deals where possible, cut down on additional spends. Take picnic lunches & snacks with you, you'll I be surprised how much you save. I always buy ice creams from the shop/supermarket rather than a van.

Use up everything in your cupboards/fridge and meal plan so you only buy what you need. Sell the boys old toys/clothes on vinted or car boot sales to generate extra income. Make a budget now for Christmas and save for it.

You earn too much for carers allowance but you might qualify for carers credit.

https://www.gov.uk/carers-credit

https://www.gov.uk/disability-living-allowance-children

Is £1800 your take home? If it is, you have £2120 before any benefits, and you’ll get at least £96 a month per child. What is your mortgage and any rent portion? If you are OK to list your fixed monthly outgoings, along with your total income, people will definitely be able to advise on where savings can be made.

You missed it, she does get some

@Lifestooshort71 she says she's getting £80 a week

Food prices have increased massively so if that is one of your biggest outgoings sit down and go through what it is you’re buying. Do you buy brand or supermarket own stuff?

No mention of the children's father paying support (unless I've missed it, apologies).

Yes you need to sit down and list all your incomings including child benefit and UC and CDP and all your outgoings. Assess if there is anything to cut out etc.
You need to check you are getting all the benefits you are entitled too.
Obviously I don't know your costs but seems your income wouldn't be super low in total. Are there any grants you can get for the house?

What’s your current mortgage period?

Personally id keep the house. Id put the debt on the mortgage (or home buyers loan) and elongating the mortgage period? You can always shorten the mortgage period when life is easier, when the kids are a bit older

I live in a council flat.

I'm sorry OP, your situation must be hard. However, I would advise against your plan. I had to live in temporary accommodation with my DS for a long period before being housed. You do not get a choice of where this is. My DS was a baby at the time so not a huge issue, but if you have school age children you might end up far away from their school, it could disrupt their education. You will likely all have to share one room as well.

Temporary accommodation is usually not nice, luckily my DS doesn’t remember it but there are often many horrible characters living with you.

If you end up with money from a house sale they will probably say you have enough money to private rent and they will ask why you aren't doing that. You can still apply for a council property, anyone can but you will be a low priority. You could be in temporary accommodation for years. And there's no guarantee that you will get a safe council place, many of them are in disrepair, have mould issues that don't get dealt with. Luckily mine hasn't but I've had issues with broken doors, satellite dish etc that weren't fixed for months on end.

It really is not ideal to put your children through that unnecessarily.

Perhaps speak to Shelter? https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice

You can only earn £151 weekly and under to claim carers credit

I know someone who did this. It took her five years to get a HA property because she’d previously had a mortgage and it was classed as making herself intentionally homeless. She’d shared the mortgage with her ex but was obsessed with having a council house to the point she left him for it. She then ended up renting privately for 5 years paying way over the odds, and the property she finally got was so far away her kids had to move schools.

I’m so sorry OP you sound desperate xx

however unfortunately You will in their eyes be “intentionally homeless” and they may refuse to help. At best you’d probably be in temporary housing in a bedsit in a hotel

have you gone to citizens advice to ensure you are claiming everything you can?

Can you set out the likely selling price, the amount of mortgage you have left, whether you pay any rent and service charges (ie is this shared ownership), what scheme you are under

You're writing about the property as if its derelict or something, are there things you can learn on youtube to fix them.

Please don't do anything rash. I understand you feel overwhelmed - this is a natural feeling

If you sell your house, you will make yourself homeless but most likely not be entitled to council housing.

You need a budget - you must prioritise your mortgage and your CTax payments.

What are all your incomings and outgoings at the moment?

I know it’s not a long term solution but are there any community-based charities that could help you with clothing and household items?