To sell my house and try and get a council house? To think I'm too poor to own?

Okay, so a few things.

CDP - do you mean DLA? For your disabled son? If so, you can get a disabled child premium on Universal Credit but you will need to tell them about it. UC are not told that you have this entitlement so they will not have applied the Disabled Child Premium to your UC payment. If they have not, you need to tell them asap, and also ask them to backdate the premium to the point at which you were first awarded the DLA - not first payment, the date it was started from. If you have missed out all this time you will get a backdated lump sum - unlike Tax Credits, they backdate in full, whether or not you told them. But you need to request that they do this, too, or they'll just pay it from now on.

You don't ever have to repay a SMI loan until the house is sold without you buying another (so, realistically, either you pay it off after paying your main mortgage, or it is a charge against the house when you die). This can reduce your mortgage repayments very substantially, and doesn't affect your credit rating. It's also massively lower cost debt that anything else you're going to get so it might be worth doing this and allocating that money to paying off whatever the other debt is.

If you get Universal Credit you are entitled to cheap broadband. It's not going to be all singing, all dancing but it will be adequate and it will be cheap. Moneysavingexpert has information on this.

I'd also look into whether you're entitled to any financial help with insulation, boilers etc as part of the green initiatives. Again, Moneysavingexpert has info if you scroll down to the bottom of this page.

Rents have gone insane and I'm so sorry, but I don't think that that's an answer, and certainly council housing isn't. This is a really horrible time but you do have a home, and over time it will come good. I'd get that SMI loan and pay down debt and do essential repairs - and I would speak to the mortgage company about extending your mortgage term to reduce monthly payments, if remotely possible, too.

Couldn't agree more that a benefits check at the CAB is called for here. You may be entitled to more than you realise.

Hang on in there. Home ownership is always hardest and worst in the early years, but inflation will eat away at the repayments along with those capital repayments, and in 5 years, certainly 10, you will be so, so much better off than paying market rents. It will also mean you aren't having to find rent money from your pension, one day, too. This is an awful time and I feel for you, but again, you have a path ahead to better days.

Given the house was built in the 70's I'm not sure an air source heat pump is going to be suitable without a lot of work to upgrade insulation etc, possibly new windows needed (looked into it when we wanted to replace our boiler a few years ago, our house was built in the 60's.)

In Bristol the wait for. a 2 bed council house is 4 year in temporary accommodation it’s up to 6 with a 3 bed and I think 2 for a one bed and 4 beds have a different scheme as so hard to get. Also they check your savings and with money if you sold your house they would make you rent.

If you’re spending more on food than on your mortgage, is your mortgage really low or is your food bill really high?

We are 2 adults and 1 child and spend about £400 a month in the supermarket, which includes toiletries and laundry products. If it wasn’t for the other two wanting biscuits and certain brands, etc, I could probably drop that by £40 a month.

You need new trainers more than your kids need an inflatable boat to use once in a blue moon. One of the best things about a day at the seaside is it’s an amazing family day out that doesn’t cost anything except getting there. If they’re getting even just 4 x £10 treats a month, that’s a new pair of trainers you could have got for yourself. We have to make sacrifices for our kids but you’re not prioritising.

@RedFence how old is the property you live in?

Intentional homelessness. They won't help you I'm afraid. Sell by all means but don't think you'll get on the list as you won't. Only way would be stop paying and be repossessed.

You can’t claim carers allowance if your income is above £151 a week after allowable deductions, but UC would confer a carers’ credit (lower amount than carers allowance) if OP was eligible, plus she may be able to claim support for mortgage interest if she’s eligible for UC - although this is a loan and has to be repaid at some point.

If I’m being honest it sounds like you’re living beyond your means. It’s amazing you want to be a great mum and do lots of things with and for your children, but having a home is more important than a day out…

ring citizens advice.

Arrange an appointment with citizens advice. They can help make sure you have benefits check and debt support.

Tbh if you can't afford the house (how did the mortgage company value it with so many issues?) you may be seen as homeless anyway.

Whatever you decide, your roof needs fixing, borrow from friends/family if possible.

Replace the gas boiler get an air source heat pump, you may get one free as long as your radiator system is suitable. Talk to your electricity supplier. If this isn't an option, think about getting centrally heating cover oordo nothing and hope it holds out until you sell.

Sending best wishes, I hope it works out for you and quickly x

I knew someone who was trapped in an abusive family. The father bought a delipated house in his name, to prevent him from leaving the family home. I tried to help him at a CAB session, but he couldn't get any help because he had a property in his name.

I wouldn’t sell OP as having lived in two temporary accommodation homes and been on the waiting list a year already for a bigger home (overcrowded), I wouldn’t recommend this route to anyone. It’s really difficult to get housed and only the really lucky people get lovely new build houses. You’re likely to be given a flat if anywhere, and the neighbours I have had have been drug dealers, aggressive couples always arguing, owners of dangerous dogs etc Can your mother not help you or their father if you explain your situation?

I contacted my LA recently about this due to being in a shitty marriage. They told me I couldn’t even go on their register while I was on the land registry as being a home
owner.

Do you mind me asking what local authority you are under? Your friends’ situations sound familiar to my own.

Can you get in a lodger to help you out?

Admittedly this was 20 years ago, but I was able to get social housing whilst owning a home. But this was a peculiar set of circumstances and the area I moved into, they couldn’t easily let properties as it’s fairly remote.

Actually I've had a zany idea. It might not work for loads of reasons but worth suggesting it just in case...

Could your Mum move in with you? Combine financial forces temporarily.

Would your Mum be able to rent out her property (if she owns) but again major warning this comes with risks and potential heartache.

The income from that could help pay your Mum's mortgage (if she has one) and/or help support your family through a tough time.

It's a HUGE ask though.

I'm thinking desperate times may call for desperate measures.

It’s extreme (tbf so we’re the circumstances that led to it, which I can’t go into) but I know someone who basically defaulted on the mortgagee and so the house was repossessed and council had to find somewhere. They eventually got a CH but had to stay with family meantime - I think over a year. And obviously will be unlikely to get a mortgage again.

Can you extend your mortgage to get lower monthly payments, and use the extra money for the repairs?

OP, was the house a newbuild when you bought it? When did you buy it and when was it built? My newbuild apartment had a long warranty period of 10 years and structural issues would fall under it, i.e. it would not be my responsibility to fix and pay for leaks etc. Also, would this not fall under building insurance and would your HA not require you to have one as a condition of the lease? Is your house a freehold or leasehold? If a leasehold your responsibilities may differ.

Lots of good advice posted here but just wanted to add, please don't be hard on yourself. Working with two kids, especially where there are additional needs, is very hard and doesn't leave you much head space to keep on top of things. I hear how hard things are for you but it sounds like you are really trying to do the best for your children.

I don't know how it works where you are, but here they put you into emergency homes which are hotels/hostels. Then they put you into what ever they have, which is often a 2 bed council flat. Two friends of mine are classed as over crowded 6/7 in a 2 bed flat. They've been waiting years, never heard anything. There are no council houses available. If you don't mind that, then you could do it. Have you claimed universal credit? Try applying on line. If your child has a disability, then you can apply for dla. Perhaps going to the citizens advice bureau, would be beneficial.

Do you have a family member you could move in with?

In theory, if you moved back with your mum then you could sell your home and the little money to do get could be used as a deposit for a new place (and use the extra money you save as a bigger deposit).

Depending on your relationship with your mum, you could even look into buying a bigger property together.

You’ll both then be contributing financially, both contribute physically for any work that needs doing and you’ll have someone to help with childcare.

If your ex will have his kids more, then they’ll spend even less time at your mums too.

If they have an EHCP they can get a taxi to school and so they may be able to get to their school still.

I think you’ve done an incredible job at buying a home, even if it’s not worked out as well as planned.

Or here

https://www.foundations.uk.com/

Ensure you're claiming everything you're entitled to. When was suddenly made single a few years ago, I claimed UC and then qualified for a grant to update my boiler. It was a weight off my mind to know my boiler was in good condition. Maintaining a boiler can sometimes be quite a simple job, if your pressure is dropping over time it's likely a slow leak somewhere. Pop your heating on, bleed all the radiators, and check every pipe on each radiator for drips. Sometimes all that's failed is the valve washer, they get brittle over time and allow small leaks, causing low pressure in the system. That is a cheaper fix than a new boiler.

Could you stretch to a £99 British gas service? They will explain how to maintain your system while they're there.

I agree with the budgeting advice, days out with ice creams and ad hoc spends absolutely wrack up quickly. Gey a spreadsheet going with all your income and outgoings across the month, see what you can delay, cut, or reduce vs absolute bills. I am doing this myself after an unexpected redundancy earlier this year- I'm back in work now but it's completely drained my savings and I'm pinching every penny to get back to an even keel again. I had to sort a knocking boiler and a dodgy roof during this time, so I feel for you. It's overwhelming to face home repairs, especially if it's a leak or boiler issue, but there are options.

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/help/home-improvements-grants

Have a look on here