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Dd4 getting work wrong at school

138 replies

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 20:48

Hi,

Just wanted to know if anyone has been in a situation where their child can do the work at home but isn't doing it at school.

My daughter is 4 years old and she's been struggling with her phonics. She's in the higher ability group but the teacher said she isn't keeping up with the pace of the group. She has a spelling test twice a week with two different lots of spellings. She's been getting 1 or 2 or 0. But we haven't been practicing, tbh, as reading and other homework takes up enough time. But the teacher says she's getting simple spellings wrong like black, crab, train, etc. But at home she writes these words in a sentence with me just emphasising the letter that she can't hear, c-r-ab, b-l-ack.... She's writing amazing sentences at home using her phonics knowledge. But at school the teacher says she's not hearing the sounds and I've told them she has glue ear and is under a consultant for this, in the meantime she needs to lip read as well as hear.

What makes a child do the work at home but not in school? They keep saying they can't help her more. They've already put her next to the teacher and she's still getting the words wrong! I've uploaded photos on class dojo of the work she's done at home but they haven't said anything back.

What do I do?!

My dd says she doesn't want to make her teacher sad because her teacher gets sad if she gets her words wrong and she has a panic in the morning saying we didn't practice our words enough. And I have to tell her that it's okay to make mistakes and nobody should be getting sad by you getting your words wrong. We learn through mistakes.

I feel so sad for her. She's a capable girl and I know she has trouble with distinguishing between th and f and if a w word begins with wh or w and she will ask me to repeat again but aside from that I don't see the problems at home that they're mentioning.

OP posts:
Thirder · 22/05/2024 21:15

I really wouldn't be concerned.
My 5 year old hasn't started school yet and only recognises a few letters, but that's only as he is curious, I'm not teaching him..
I'm in Ireland which is why the later start. I wonder is England much more intensive early on? Irish children have great literacy so the added expectations at an early age don't seem to give overall advantage later on.
If this is realistic for 4 year olds, that's quite sad.

Concretejungle1 · 22/05/2024 21:14

I had glue ear,
phonetics just did not go in. (Still do not understand) I had to be taught the other way. I was reading before school.

Garlicnaan · 22/05/2024 21:14

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:09

She keeps saying the teacher gets sad if she gets it wrong. That didn't sit right with me and I have a meeting with the HT coming up on Friday to talk about this referral and I'm wondering should I bring this up?

If the teacher IS saying this, it's ableist IMO. And just an awful, manipulative thing to say.

lollydu · 22/05/2024 21:14

What? This can't be true? My DD4 is in reception and her and most of her friends are still writing phonetically and I can barely read what she writes and her school are fine with it? Totally normal to not be able to spell words correctly they've only just started learning to read! I think if they're making her do spelling tests twice a week that's total overkill and detrimental to them! At that age they shouldn't even know they are in a higher or lower ability group and neither should you - the only way you could ascertain what level their at is by the level of books they are being sent home to read and even then you could only place them if you know what the rest of the class are reading to compare.

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:13

It's a normal, quite rubbish state school actually. But she's been innthe higher ability group, she could read simple sentences when she started reception. She's so confident at home but and writing sentences like my bruther (bruther) my frend. I can see a burd (bird) on the balcunee (balcony). That is with 1 to 1 with me though and me teaching her to segment the sounds.

OP posts:
Garlicnaan · 22/05/2024 21:13

Phonics lessons move SO fast in reception/ y1 and classrooms can be noisier so that may be why she's struggling more at school.

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 21:13

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:09

She keeps saying the teacher gets sad if she gets it wrong. That didn't sit right with me and I have a meeting with the HT coming up on Friday to talk about this referral and I'm wondering should I bring this up?

I think it's wrong if the teacher is saying that and making her feel guilty.

Garlicnaan · 22/05/2024 21:12

My child is 8 and still struggles with f and th! It's bonkers they are being so pushy in reception. Especially given you've mentioned the glue ear twice. I'd keep a close eye on things and consider moving her if it doesn't change. It won't do her self esteem any good.

mynameiscalypso · 22/05/2024 21:11

My 4 year old is in Reception and has never had a spelling test in his life. He gets reading books sent home but that's it.

Dramatic · 22/05/2024 21:11

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:05

She was very good with cvc words, it seems the ccvc words are a bit harder for her to pick up the second sound.

And they said she's still confusing th and f. At home she will ask me do yoy mean th as in thank you or f in flower so she understands that they sound similar and she can't distinguish the sounds by hearing but will ask.

God your poor daughter, of course she's confusing similar sounds, she can't hear them. It's quite sad to hear that her teacher is making her feel this way about herself at the age of 4. I'd ask for a formal meeting with the teacher and really drive home the fact that it's not her getting the sounds "wrong" she simply cannot hear them unless they are really emphasised. They absolutely must make allowances for this.

MultiplaLight · 22/05/2024 21:11

She needs to be able to see the teachers mouth, not necessarily be near her.

There is a difference in mouth formation for FL and TH in your example above, and the more lip reading exposure she gets, the better this will be.
At home, sit opposite her when reading and over move your mouth for similar sounds like FL and TH.

I had glue ear and struggled to hear these differences (still do). Luckily I learned to lip read from a young age (not intentionally, more taking the initiative to get through!).

Cheshireflamingo · 22/05/2024 21:10

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:09

She keeps saying the teacher gets sad if she gets it wrong. That didn't sit right with me and I have a meeting with the HT coming up on Friday to talk about this referral and I'm wondering should I bring this up?

Definitely. This seems like an insane amount of pressure for a 4yo.

RandomMess · 22/05/2024 21:10

Don't agree with all these tests but it's a hearing issue!!

Especially as the classroom will be noisier than home.

HelenaWaiting · 22/05/2024 21:10

I don't know if this will help at all, but my youngest was frightened of his Reception teacher and would just clam up. She couldn't get any response so wrote him off as not very able. When I pointed out that he could do it at home she made it very clear that she thought I was doing it. Turns out he was very bright indeed.

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:09

She keeps saying the teacher gets sad if she gets it wrong. That didn't sit right with me and I have a meeting with the HT coming up on Friday to talk about this referral and I'm wondering should I bring this up?

OP posts:
Sdpbody · 22/05/2024 21:08

Is this a private school?

This seems insane for Reception.

Notellinganyone · 22/05/2024 21:06

Bluevelvetsofa · 22/05/2024 20:50

She’s four years old and having spelling tests twice a week?

I think she’ll be put off school. It sounds very pressured.

This. Shocking really. Far too early.

Tumbletre · 22/05/2024 21:05

Wow this sounds like an awful pushy school, she’s only 4!

dinkybella77 · 22/05/2024 21:05

Reception teacher here, sounds very formal to me for a 4 Yr old.
The reason she gets it right at home- she is less pressured and she gets more 1:1 help.

Sounding out the letters individually (segementing) is the bit that she needs more help with from you at the moment but she will be able to do it on her own in time. Consonant blends such as ' bl' and 'cr' are harder to segment

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:05

whereisthebloodything · 22/05/2024 20:59

They are not simple spellings. Cvc words - dig, dog, cat - are simple spellings. Your poor daughter. I'm ac teacher in Scotland. We've gone the other way and now have hardly any learning in p1. I don't understand why we can't find a middle ground!

She was very good with cvc words, it seems the ccvc words are a bit harder for her to pick up the second sound.

And they said she's still confusing th and f. At home she will ask me do yoy mean th as in thank you or f in flower so she understands that they sound similar and she can't distinguish the sounds by hearing but will ask.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 21:03

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:02

She says other than putting her next to her she can't do anything else and has referred her for speech and language therapy. They keep saying they're really concerned she can't hear some sounds. The consultant said its because of the glue ear. We are waiting for the referral and I've raised this issue up twice with the teacher and she says I have to wait for the referral and its not in their expertise.

Is she likely to get grommets? I have known these to help a lot.

It's a bit of a cop out to say school can't help. Children who are completely deaf can learn to read.

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 21:02

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 20:59

I'm just emphasising the l in black and r in crab. Is that wrong? Now with enough practice she can sound it out herself but she wasn't hearing the l and r.

I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong but it will just be easier for her if you are emphasising the sounds.

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:02

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 21:00

I've been retired for 10 years so there might have been a lot of changes. I wouldn't have done formal 'tests' but had to do a lot of assessments.

I would suggest you talk to the teacher about your child's hearing difficulties and get her to find other ways of helping.

She says other than putting her next to her she can't do anything else and has referred her for speech and language therapy. They keep saying they're really concerned she can't hear some sounds. The consultant said its because of the glue ear. We are waiting for the referral and I've raised this issue up twice with the teacher and she says I have to wait for the referral and its not in their expertise.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 21:00

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 20:56

I thought two tests a week was a bit much too but I'm not familiar with EYFS curriculum and what is the norm. Any teachers here?

I've been retired for 10 years so there might have been a lot of changes. I wouldn't have done formal 'tests' but had to do a lot of assessments.

I would suggest you talk to the teacher about your child's hearing difficulties and get her to find other ways of helping.

whereisthebloodything · 22/05/2024 20:59

They are not simple spellings. Cvc words - dig, dog, cat - are simple spellings. Your poor daughter. I'm ac teacher in Scotland. We've gone the other way and now have hardly any learning in p1. I don't understand why we can't find a middle ground!