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Original poster

Dd4 getting work wrong at school

138 replies

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 20:48

Hi,

Just wanted to know if anyone has been in a situation where their child can do the work at home but isn't doing it at school.

My daughter is 4 years old and she's been struggling with her phonics. She's in the higher ability group but the teacher said she isn't keeping up with the pace of the group. She has a spelling test twice a week with two different lots of spellings. She's been getting 1 or 2 or 0. But we haven't been practicing, tbh, as reading and other homework takes up enough time. But the teacher says she's getting simple spellings wrong like black, crab, train, etc. But at home she writes these words in a sentence with me just emphasising the letter that she can't hear, c-r-ab, b-l-ack.... She's writing amazing sentences at home using her phonics knowledge. But at school the teacher says she's not hearing the sounds and I've told them she has glue ear and is under a consultant for this, in the meantime she needs to lip read as well as hear.

What makes a child do the work at home but not in school? They keep saying they can't help her more. They've already put her next to the teacher and she's still getting the words wrong! I've uploaded photos on class dojo of the work she's done at home but they haven't said anything back.

What do I do?!

My dd says she doesn't want to make her teacher sad because her teacher gets sad if she gets her words wrong and she has a panic in the morning saying we didn't practice our words enough. And I have to tell her that it's okay to make mistakes and nobody should be getting sad by you getting your words wrong. We learn through mistakes.

I feel so sad for her. She's a capable girl and I know she has trouble with distinguishing between th and f and if a w word begins with wh or w and she will ask me to repeat again but aside from that I don't see the problems at home that they're mentioning.

OP posts:
SwordToFlamethrower · 23/05/2024 00:05

Sounds like hell. Your baby is only 4 years old!!! Ridiculous expectations

ForlornLindtBear · 23/05/2024 00:00

Calm down. Let her just be four. Structured play and socialising well are the only things that really matter at that age. Enjoy her being four.

BarbaraWoodlouse1 · 22/05/2024 23:56

Don’t worry too much. Glue ear can make those high frequency sounds difficult to distinguish. That’s all x

Whatadipstick · 22/05/2024 23:53

Christ on a bike - she’s 4!!!!

Most kids are learning how to pick up/hold a pencil at that age!
I’ll have a word with the teacher and ask her to lay off the being sa bit. Too much pressure on child.

Didimum · 22/05/2024 23:45

Christ. Please tell me this is a joke.

KnickerlessParsons · 22/05/2024 23:24

If she can read and write at the right level for a 4 year old when she's at home it doesn't really matter how she does in school. You know she can do it.

ThinWomansBrain · 22/05/2024 23:23

she has a hearing impairment - there is probably more background noise, and she can lip read at home because you are working with her 1:1 and probably closer than the teacher would be

& she's 4 FFS

SpanThatWorld · 22/05/2024 22:58

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 22:32

My dd is the same. For the longest time I've been blaming myself and thinking what am I doing wrong with her speech. And it's taken a year and a half to get an ent appointment with a cancellation in between and the consultant diagnosed it. Did you get grommets? How did you support her in speech in the meantime?

Show quote history

Firstly, look at the National Deaf Children's Society NDCS information about glue ear and how to have deaf-friendly classrooms. Your daughter does not need speech therapy; she needs to be able to hear.

Classrooms are noisy places. It's entirely possible that she can just hear better at home than at school. About 25-30% of under 5s have some degree of glue ear. It should be something that early years teachers know more about and they can make a difference.

It's increasingly common for audiologists to give low power hearing aids to children with glue ear. Ask your Audiologist or ENT if they would provide a bone conduction aid so that your daughter can hear now not in 6 months time. It's ridiculous for a child this age to be held back by hearing difficulties when a temporary hearing aid will allow her to hear everything.

Have you tried Otovent? It's one of the few evidence-based treatments for glue ear. It's available over the counter and is a balloon which the child blows up with their nose, opening up the eustachian tubes and ventilating the middle ear allowing the glue to clear.

Don't worry about discriminating th/f. It's the last minimal pair that most English-speaking children can discriminate and lots haven't resolved the difference until they are 5-6.

Ioverslept · 22/05/2024 22:42

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:58

My dh wants to move school as their sats results were the worst in the area for the last few years and there's behavioural issues in the school. My concern is, will she be able to make friends in a new setting and get comfortable with staff given her speech/hearing impediment at the moment. She'll be getting grommets in 5 to 6 months time.

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Of course she'll make friends if she moves!

coupdetonnerre · 22/05/2024 22:34

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 20:56

I agree with what the others have said about not worrying about it.

Just do what she enjoys at home. No pressure. DD was an early reader but that's because we read a lot at home and she enjoys the stories. She wasn't doing the same at school at 4 - despite it being independent - but she could read. Follow her lead. 4 is far too early to worry about that she needs to be rolling in her mud kitchen outside.

Riversideandrelax · 22/05/2024 22:33

Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 21:37

Not quite sure I follow? I don't think it's right that the 4 year old with glue ear is being pressured at all. I've just pointed out that these are normal words to be asking reception to spell at this time of year, because our curriculum expectations are madly high. But it doesn't matter at all that she can't, especially given her glue ear. She's doing really well by the sounds of it! And yes, as a teacher you have a million and one things happening at once, and are talking a lot, while listening out etc.. Sometimes, especially if you are not very reflective, you may need someone to point out that the words you are using are not helpful.

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In teaching communication is absolutely key. Putting this down to just 'words' and someone needing to point this out is astonishing. Surely by this point it should have been pointed out multiple times. Having 'a million and one things happening at once' is absolutely no excuse for the dreadful performance of this teacher, it really isn't. Are you a teacher may I ask?

Original poster
MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 22:32

Ginflinger · 22/05/2024 22:28

OP when my child at 4 was diagnosed with glue ear, she was unable to hear almost all consonants and was missing a huge chunk of spoken speech. Poor little duck. It can be really significant.

Agree with everything said about doing all you can to stop any more pressure being put on your 4 year old!

My dd is the same. For the longest time I've been blaming myself and thinking what am I doing wrong with her speech. And it's taken a year and a half to get an ent appointment with a cancellation in between and the consultant diagnosed it. Did you get grommets? How did you support her in speech in the meantime?

OP posts:
Ginflinger · 22/05/2024 22:28

OP when my child at 4 was diagnosed with glue ear, she was unable to hear almost all consonants and was missing a huge chunk of spoken speech. Poor little duck. It can be really significant.

Agree with everything said about doing all you can to stop any more pressure being put on your 4 year old!

Riversideandrelax · 22/05/2024 22:24

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:58

My dh wants to move school as their sats results were the worst in the area for the last few years and there's behavioural issues in the school. My concern is, will she be able to make friends in a new setting and get comfortable with staff given her speech/hearing impediment at the moment. She'll be getting grommets in 5 to 6 months time.

Show quote history

It's not surprising how bad they are doing with how dreadful they are.

She will be so much happier in a decent school. I'd definitely move her.

Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 22:15

@RamblingFarI so agree with you! It infuriated me that the most recent reading guidance stated that all children in a mainstream school will be able to read using phonics. There really needs to be a bit of wiggle room for us to try other ideas and use our professional judgement.

PurpleFlower1983 · 22/05/2024 22:14

I would move schools to be honest, they don’t sound like they’ve got much of a clue! (Teacher here and phonics lead)

wellington77 · 22/05/2024 22:13

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:58

My dh wants to move school as their sats results were the worst in the area for the last few years and there's behavioural issues in the school. My concern is, will she be able to make friends in a new setting and get comfortable with staff given her speech/hearing impediment at the moment. She'll be getting grommets in 5 to 6 months time.

Show quote history

I moved school at the end of my reception year, as my family were moving house. I made new friends within the day and still friends with one of the girl from that time 30 years on, kids that young make friends quick- I wouldn’t worry

tsmainsqueeze · 22/05/2024 22:13

She's 4 , she'll find her path in her own time.
School put far too much pressure on very young children .

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 22/05/2024 22:13

OMG, she's not struggling - she's 4 years old! Spelling tests and homework that sounds like it takes more than a few minutes.....sod that, how utterly ridiculous! What kind of school does she go to?!

My 4 year old is still at nursery and can't read yet .....I'm not even remotely concerned! If she felt that she made her teacher sad due to getting a word wrong I'd be taking her out of the school. She's 4!! Let her be little and don't succumb to the pressure. It really doesn't matter how she's doing academically in reception, but her happiness IS so important.

RamblingFar · 22/05/2024 22:12

Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 21:59

@RamblingFar I fully agree that if you can't hear the sounds, you can't use that to spell them, and I'm surprised anyone would disagree with that. But the approaches you re talking about do involve phonics, surely, but in a less direct way, because you have to work out the code for yourself. Many children can work out the code for themselves, and then use that phonics knowledge to read new words, which is how whole word instruction produced many good readers. But many children also can't, and they need to be taught it explicitly, which is why phonics is now the method of choice, I think? It must be difficult to be a hearing impaired child who isn't able to work out the code.

Yes, I don't disagree with teaching it.

However teachers are meant to teach phonics and only phonics.

If I had my way, I'd reintroduce mixed methods. Probably only to the students with SEN that required them. But I've seen too many kids languishing in phonics/intervention sets, being pulled from general English/spelling lessons, until they are aged 7/8/9/10 until they can pass the schools phonics assessments. At some point (and I'd argue with hearing impaired children it should be sooner rather than later), they should switch from purely just phonics. There is a very small number of children that phonics only helps up to a point.

The OP has pointed out the child can write the word correctly when she knows the sounds to write. Children need to know all the phonemes. However, just knowing them all is pointless for getting good marks in phonics assessments if you can't hear them all to use them in your spelling or writing.

Pin0cchio · 22/05/2024 22:11

To be honest the school sound awful. They will put her off at that age.

My DD is pretty good on her phonics and the school does well, spelling tests don't happen in reception. Homework doesn't either. Just reading books. Sometimes things like a colouring sheet or something to practise cutting comes home but its optional and not to be sent back in

Seashor · 22/05/2024 22:10

I don’t believe a word of this thread. A reception teacher setting spelling tests!!! Ha, ha, ha.They haven’t got time to sneeze. Must try harder at trying to make posts up op.

CurlewKate · 22/05/2024 22:08

Move to a different school. Sorted.

Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 22:06

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:58

My dh wants to move school as their sats results were the worst in the area for the last few years and there's behavioural issues in the school. My concern is, will she be able to make friends in a new setting and get comfortable with staff given her speech/hearing impediment at the moment. She'll be getting grommets in 5 to 6 months time.

Show quote history

Absolutely move school!! The staff at this school don't sound great. And she'll be fine making friends

BookArt · 22/05/2024 22:04

Glue ear has she had a hearing test? My sons hearing is lower in one ear and definitely affecting his ability to focus in the classroom as with all the background noise.

The pressure will affect her confidence and ability to focus also. I would be raising this with HT.

Also with glue ear or any hearing concern these are some top tips that I use (secondary teacher with a specialist HI department). https://www.devon.gov.uk/support-schools-settings/send/areas-of-need/sensory-and-or-physical/hearing-impairment/glue-ear/

Diagram showing the internal workings of the human ear

Glue ear - Support for schools and settings

Glue ear is a common childhood condition. It can cause a temporary and variable hearing loss which, if present over a prolonged period of time, may affect

https://www.devon.gov.uk/support-schools-settings/send/areas-of-need/sensory-and-or-physical/hearing-impairment/glue-ear