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AIBU?

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Original poster

New House Neighbours

33 replies

Myrkk · 22/05/2024 17:14

Sorry for the long post. I'm at a loss what to do.

We moved house a few months ago to our {we thought} forever house. From the moment we moved in it was lovely. Then 3nights after we moved in the neighbour came to complain we were parked in front of our house and it was causing her an issue. We have a cottage with parking under both windows, they have a 2bed cottage with, well no parking. She kept shouting "one cottage, one car" and started with "you have been told". My hubby had answered the door and was a little shocked and when I went through to defuse the situation she was super grumpy with me too and walked off shouting "one cottage, one car" like a little mantra. A couple of days later I heard him complaining about us to someone from the village (it's a tiny village) who thankfully said they've just moved in give them a break. A couple of weeks later one of their cats went missing and I found it hiding behind one of our sheds and couldn't get it out so called her to come around and get it. No thanks, except a post of face book later on.

Fast forward and her cats are fighting on our roof outside our bedroom window, stalking our elderly dog, using our veggie beds as a litter tray and worst of all, one of our dogs nearly caught one of them as they are so fearless. I used to lift them and pop them on the shed next to our wall, but they then thought it was ok to come into our house so I now spray them with water to get them to run off.

If I'm out speaking to the other neighbour who I go for coffees with occasionally, he'll shout Hi x and ignore me. I usually say hi and smile but have given up doing this over the last few weeks.

My Mum staying over involves her sleeping in the bedroom that overlooks their garden and he will stand an stare in the window at her moving around in the room.

Her hubby keeps putting our bins against our front door and today when I heard it I went out and said could you pop them against the side gate rather than slamming them off the front door which is what it sounded like he did. He moved them and then told me I was rude and he didn't slam them against the door, to which I replied you did last week. I also asked what we had done to get such rude behaviour from them to which he walked away.

I'm at a loss as I feel stressed in our garden, and I love my garden, and it is taking the shine off our new home. I've said to my hubbie maybe this won't be our forever home after all, but my Mum says we should stick our grounds until they move.

AIBU, I'm worried if they're doing this around the village we'll get a name so I'm being scrupulously friendly to everyone.

OP posts:
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OutVileJelly1 · 16/09/2024 15:49

In our last house, on moving day - whilst we were actually moving wardrobes etc the neighbour came round to complain we were using our own stairs too much

we had moved in a couple of days and the neighbor came round shouting we were scraping wallpaper off too loudly. It was in the middle of the day...and we didnt have any music etc on

This was the beginning of three years of complaint after complaint after complaint - all over very petty things.

I came home from work one day and he was stood on my doorstep to complain about the noise from my (empty) house.

8 times out of 10 we would turn the TV on and he would be at the door step within minutes

Fortunately we were able to move

cornflakecrunchie · 27/05/2024 11:42

@Myrkk Good idea & good luck!

Original poster
Myrkk · 27/05/2024 11:39

Thanks everyone. I'm going to put planters there as it's that sort of village. Then we can use the other space, my OH parks elsewhere. I just don't get that level of aggression when someone has only just moved in, 3 days! Ho hum

OP posts:
Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 22/05/2024 22:32

Can you put posts on the boundary between your land and the neighbour's land (and/or bollards/ fence/ wall)? and maybe some nice planters filled with flowers? (if it's that sort of village)
That would make it very clear which land you consider to belong to you, and prevent your CF-bully-neighbour from driving across it or parking on it or leaving their bins on it.
If they damage any of your posts or planters, that would probably constitute criminal damage.
Keep a log of any future incidents, including times when they trespass onto your land to throw bins around or shout abuse at you. Keep squirting their cats. And yes, keep being the nice people you want to be to the rest of the village!
Good luck

LawlorsNaa · 22/05/2024 22:22

I couldn't sit back snd ignore them or kill them with kindness. You need to be more aggressive and batshit than them. Do not take their crap. Tell them to f**k of every single time they say anything to you.

ButterCrackers · 22/05/2024 22:18

From your diagram is it that you own the land where there’s parking for three cars with the dropped kerb? If so get no parking signs made and ask the community police officer to have a word with your bullying neighbour.

GabriellaMontez · 22/05/2024 22:12

Omg. They're bullying you! You will have to stand up to them to make them back off.

Use your drive and put your bins on it too!

ExpressCheckout · 22/05/2024 22:05

It looks to me that they'll need to apply to the council for a dropped kerb. That's all I can say, really ... YANBU, even people who seem outwardly OK can be weirdly irrational when it comes to parking.

Totally agree that neighbours owning cats can be a real problem. Cat owners are often in denial about the misery that cats can cause others. Sadly there isn't a magic (or legal) solution. But that's for another thread...

Couldyounot · 22/05/2024 21:42

They sound absolutely dreadful. You are doing nothing wrong so far as I can see. This sort of thing is so unnecessary.

cornflakecrunchie · 22/05/2024 21:37

Thanks @Myrkk - I don't know why people think they can ride roughshod over us. Maybe we are just too reasonable - anything for peace & quiet.. We'll both have to do the big girl pants! All the best, I do hope things settle down.

Preseli · 22/05/2024 21:17

Could you not put a fence up between the houses so there is no question on what bit is your driveway? (with concrete posts to put them off hitting them with their car)

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/05/2024 21:02

If I am reading your diagram correctly, it looks like you have parking for two cars and a dropped kerb to access it.

She has a space outside front of her house she can put her bins on, but no access to it from the road, thus no parking.

Her problem, tell her to stick it up her bum.

frankentall · 22/05/2024 20:57

Top diagram. Neigbour is a daft arse.

rwalker · 22/05/2024 20:55

Stop trying to please them
you need to repeat this mantra to her 2 spaces 2 cars

Likewhatever · 22/05/2024 20:41

How rotten for you OP. Stand your ground though, it sounds like they didn’t get anywhere with the previous owner so resistance will work. I approve of your plan to be nice to everyone else in the village. You’ll get all the village gossip that way too!

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 22/05/2024 20:38

You can't reason with the unreasonable. Save your breath.

MissConductUS · 22/05/2024 18:56

Get a Ring doorbell or outside security camera. They'll be less likely to harass you if they know they are being recorded.

Original poster
Myrkk · 22/05/2024 18:48

@cornflakecrunchie oh no. It's the pits. I take everything too personally and try and change to suit everyone. Time to put the big girl panties on and just please me and mine.

Hope yours settles down too.

Thanks everyone. I need to just get on with enjoying our home and garden. I do think we've moved into the twilight zone though as I've had the neighbours we get on with commenting on how dirty my car is and how we need to take our hanging baskets in and fix them as they look awful argh, I'd forgotten how bad little villages could be.

OP posts:
TheTartfulLodger · 22/05/2024 18:16

They obviously had an issue with the previous owner and are carrying it over to the next. You need to grey rock these people and completely ignore them. I mean completely. Like just act like they don't exist. Do not engage at all. Ever. Then if they do continue to ramp up the bullying it becomes harassment and because you have never engaged they become the aggressors. Make them look like the unreasonable ones.

CountingCrones · 22/05/2024 18:13

Neighbour may 'like' to park via accessing your land, it doesn't mean she can.

Myrkk · 22/05/2024 18:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Original poster
Myrkk · 22/05/2024 18:06

sorry took me a little while to figure out how to upload an image, and yet I can't see it. argh.

I did ask around the village about parking etiquette and was told park where I want, it's my land and they're new (been here 4yrs) so ignore them. I just don't like not getting on with people. This is the first time in over 10 houses we've ever had a problem with neighbours.

OP posts:
Icepinkeskimo · 22/05/2024 18:05

They are bullies OP, your mum is absolute spot on with her advice.
In fact I think it will do you the world of good when she comes to stay.
You have done nothing wrong, so stand your ground.
I hope you have a lovely time out in your garden with your mum. Just get on with doing what makes you happy.

cornflakecrunchie · 22/05/2024 17:58

@Myrkk Bloody neighbours.. slight issue with mine today. Daren't go into detail. I'm so sorry, why DO people have to behave this way?
Sounds like 'they've lived there longer than you & therefore have more rights' Don't let them bully you. I shall try & take my own advice, too.

4thJuly2024 · 22/05/2024 17:48

If you are being considerate about where you put your bins, tell him to get his hands off your bins.

Tell her to learn to drive. Tell her you'll park your cars on your property & it's not any of her business.

Don't pussyfoot around the twats to try to impress the village, they'll all know what their like!!

Dont let them spoil your new 🏡