Manipulated by women that “can’t”

48 here and my eyes are deteriorating without a doubt. I’ve needed driving glasses since about 43 but now see halos round lights at night which i understand is the start of cataracts…so, yeah I’d rather not drive at night. Don’t mind the motorway though!

How many single female 50s colleagues do you actually have who do this OP? Because most people wouldn't have more than a handful of colleagues who are in this exact demographic, let alone enough who do these odd things so frequently you've come to wonder if it's character trait of single 50s women.

The irony of the OP returning to fill in the gaps from her opening post 😁

It's not a thing that I have ever experienced or heard anyone else complain about. It seems like it might be a culture that is specific to your workplace.

None of these behaviours requires you to do anything about them though, no need to volunteer to pick people up or whatever. If asked, just say no.

I only hear about these sorts of things on Mumsnet. Everyone I know just gets on with stuff.

I have a friend who doesn’t drive, she passed her test but immediately moved to London, hasn’t driven in the last 40 years and now doesn’t want to get behind a wheel. But she never asks anyone to go out of their way for her. She gets the bus or organizes a cab.

I have another friend who would like to have issues like this - she really doesn’t like driving, she doesn’t like getting up early, she’s super picky about what work she wants to do - but she has far too many responsibilities and too little money to actually indulge them so she just sucks it up and gets on with it (she does indulge her son, though, and that’s not turning out too well).

Most of your examples, getting from one place to another, navigation, travel etc could be down to confidence. It's also about people not used to stepping out of their comfort zone. I drive all over the place and travel quite a bit so have no anxiety around it. My dm stays within 3 miles of her home for most of the time so a trip to an airport or somewhere new seems insurmountable to her because she stopped stepping out of her comfort zone. You could be holding down a high level job but be quite within your safe zone.

The last one might actually be someone who has much more sensitive smell than you....as a child certain smells would make me wretch, its got better as I've got older but certain perfumes still make me feel really queasy.

Just say no! I hate women like this, plenty of us have worked for years to prove that we are actually just as competent and capable as men, sometimes more so! The “oh look I’m so cute and female and helpless” brigade do my head in - get some motorway driving lessons, use google maps, do a tutorial or an evening course on the new technology, pull it together and learn it if you can’t do it! Because it’s not Cinderella and no one is coming along to save you. That’s exactly what I’d tell a mate or colleague who was behaving like that!

I really don’t understand the problem. You are not forced to solve these women’s issues. Just decline to ‘fix’ things for them, let them fend for themselves, and carry on doing what you want to do. 🤷‍♀️

There could be so many reasons all this stuff happens; it's all out of context. I start work at 10 as I am a carer, if I have to go in early it's difficult. I also have a health condition so can't walk far and constantly need the loo. I work with mostly women my age (60s) and we look after each other; where possible we don't make it tricky to get anywhere, we pick each other up, we try to minimise travel (and we all need the loo!).

Oh and we get called into important meetings too OP ... (just saying)

I often wonder how mumsnetters get on in real life, with their “perfume disabilities” etc and then I remember they don’t, they sit at their keyboard all day moaning on here.

Yeah I saw a thread on here earlier where they were saying "can't get on a plane" or something.

Pull the other one! Ffs

This is interesting as a I have a friend in her 40’s who says she can’t do many of these things too. I feel like she wants to be babied and I find it very frustrating.

Same here, no way would I eat something I didn't like. I wouldn't complain but don't expect me to eat it!

I'm 55. Recently retired, but had women of my age and older, who played the "old" card, and simply refused to engage with technology, if they could. I also have friends won't drive on motorways/busy roads.

@Mistressofpemberly SORRy but I am 69 and I still do all of those things!! I would not pander to that shit for anybody!! also can make long drives down to england overnight alone!!

The strong perfume one - has the person complaining got lung issues?

Ive got lung disease and this would make me feel unwell

Difference could be that the women who have had kids and husbands have been successfully socially ground down over decades by having to keep everyone but themselves happy, that even when the oestrogen seeps away, they are maybe a bit milder in being able to put themselves first and put boundaries in place, or just not doing stuff they don't want to do. The single women were maybe less constrained by this all along and maybe their egos were healthier to begin with, so they would likely be even more 'screw you' when they reach the menopause. However I agree with other posters who say it's sexist bilge, because think of all those ageing male bosses who 'can't' do lots of basic things simply because they don't want to, or have tantrums and everyone tiptoes around their preferences. I have noticed the syndrome of the truly evil female boss, but I think it comes from just having to be more evil to get to the top if you're female.

Why did you put this song in my head!

I do know a couple of capable, wealthy, well-qualified women who are expert at delegating - but to friends outside of work as well as staff inside of work.

you gradually realize that you are doing all the driving, all of the restaurant booking, all the rearranging of restaurant bookings (when one of them decides to bring a friend, or to fit in something else beforehand), all the choosing and sourcing of joint birthday gifts. Eventually, you get other friends

Just use the mumsnet classic-‘That doesn’t work for me’ or better yet, a simple ‘No, you’ll be fine’. Why do you pander to them being pathetic?