To not like people coming to visit my baby?

How would you feel if no one visited you ever and you were alone with your baby all day every day.

Be grateful you have people who give a shit. Lots of new mums don't.

I also hated the visits when my daughter was tiny. She was 6 weeks premature and we didn’t come out of hospital until she was 12 days old as I was also very ill. My family were really understanding and there were no instances of invited visitors. Most didn’t meet her at all until she was about 12/13 weeks old. My ex in laws in the other hand drove me to fury! Would turn up out of the blue, try to take her from me or lift her out of the Moses basket and wake her. The very rare occasion they manage to grab hold of her, I had her back within seconds. They were then all stopped fully from visiting. She was not a trophy or prize to be passed around and because they had put her life at risk in NICU by trying to take her out of her incubator, I had absolutely zero goodwill for them.

Stick to your guns and just tell people no more invited visits, the door will not get answered unless you are expecting someone and let them be unhappy. That’s their problem.

Exactly. Be moaning if nobody came.

I 100% felt this! I couldn’t be bothered with people. I wasn’t depressed but they’d stay for ages which I just couldn’t be bothered with, I felt like I had to sit an entertain or socialise when I really couldn’t be bothered. Being a parent is hard and people want to come round “for a cuddle” and I really couldn’t be bothered with it. Everyone had an opinion on my little ones sleep too which I also couldn’t be bothered with. I hated visitors.

The washing hands thing is odd. I've seen zero evidence saying babies catch more infections if people holding them don't wash their hands. They shouldn't be putting their fingers in the baby's mouth. Playing baby pass the parcel is just not good as overstimulation and new people holding a baby want to witter away to it.
I'm happy with people holding babies just not with visiting uninvited. My home hasn't become an open house just because I've had a baby. We didn't get this though as we'd moved away from our parents. If you decide to stay in the same town and never really move away you're maybe more enmeshed

I’m not mad on having people round my house, so sympathise. we had a neighbour I barely know knock 3 days after I got back from hospital and my other half awkwardly invited them in as didn’t think and I just went upstairs afters 10 minutes 😅 but as many have mentioned, arrange a couple of meetings out the house each week instead and limit house visits to people your comfortable with and when your partner is home if you’d prefer. Also don’t feel bad telling people to wash their hands and not kiss the baby, mine is 10 weeks old and I still tell people this!

Post partum

Some cultures believe a newborn should have as few people around them for the first 40 days (also for mother too, it's called post parting confinement)

I think it's a blissful idea 🙂

If its close friends/family like your parents, can you ask them to be helpful whilst visiting!? Take the baby for a pram walk so you can shower? Bring a shop with them or do some cleaning or something?
Definitely set some boundaries but I would say don't forget mat leave can be lonely and in a few months you might miss the excitement over the baby and want a bit more contact (you might not , each to their own!!)

Grandparents a few times a week? That's a lot. Do they live next door or something.

No-one has to visit your baby if you don't want them to. No one has to visit your baby at times that aren't convenient. Just remember though these people are coming because they WANT to give you and your child their time and attention. If you say you DON'T want them, you may find people much less eager to visit you. Would this make you feel lonely?

If people ask to visit only invite them when it's convenient. if people turn up unannounced tell them it's not convenient and next time ask if they can arrange a time to meet in advance. Some people think manners and consideration stop existing just because you have a baby. Start going out more as well so you aren't always in.

Stand up for yourself. If they arrive unannounced do what my mum used to do with nan, don't answer the door and give behind the sofa lol
Seriously tho if they just turn up just ask please can you wash your hands if you want a hold? And please don't kiss her as she's had a bit of a bug and you don't want a repeat!
Don't wait on them at all. But it won't do any harm to start some ambient noise so you will be able to make noises while she sleeps.
My advice would be to look for places to go with her. Even walk at the park and speak to people. If grandparents want to they could come with you to a baby group until you settle in?
But no your baby your rules!!!

Probably some postpartum lingering.

get people to bring food - and have some frozen appiez to throw in the oven. And let baby contact nap on them. The socialization is good for you and them.

you’ll want the friends and family later! Can’t just be an A$$ now and then expect them to hang around or support you later. I mean some outstay their welcome- just say you have an appointment at (ie) 3pm. Then hustle them out and leave. Or if they are showing up to frequently then talk to them.

hand sanitizer by the door! And try not to be holding baby when you answer it.

remember you survived alllllll the face kisses. All this ‘don’t kiss the baby’ and weirdly hand washing is fairly new. Give some grace to those older than you.

Exactly this. My daughter is five weeks old and so far only the midwife and health visitor have visited. Our families live far away so it’s our own doing and I’m not looking for sympathy but sometimes helps to realise how lucky you actually are.

You sound grumpy to me.

@JollyHostess101 Sorry for your loss🌷

I say this with kindness - get her used to noise or you will have to have a completely silent house every night. With a second child a noiseless house would be virtually impossible!

Few solutions here... if they're wanting baby cuddles, ask them to wash their hands first. Have a couple of cakes and packs of biscuits in the cupboard and set up a tea tray with cups and teapot on and ask whoever visits to just put the kettle on. Always be on your way out but you 'can spare half an hour' and when that's up start making moves to leave. Anyone kissing your baby just ask them not to as there's so much going round right now you're being cautious. Just be more assertive but engage on your terms and you may feel better about it.

I highly recommend meeting people for a walk in the park with a baby - it's really nice to get fresh air, babies tend to like fresh air too and it's easier to call it a day when you're done

3 mo is pretty newborn in my book!

Well she’s brand new, so I don’t think much you could do would be unreasonable!

YANBU: your baby, your rules - everyone else can lump it. Take the pressure off yourself, you'll be ready for visitors in your own good time.

I know it doesn't seem like it but think how lucky you and your baby are to have so many people who care and want to visit......we hardly had anyone making any effort at all to see our DC and that was depressing!

Tell people in advance that the max you can do is an hour, no need to explain. Don’t offer drinks/food if they’re only staying for an hour. The hours long visits would drive me nuts. A friend came round for a cup of tea one day and stayed all afternoon, drove me wild. I had to send her home because I was due at the yard, it was ridiculous!