Travelling abroad to see a friend and she hasn't booked time off work

2 days with her, 2 to explore on your own- sounds perfect. There is so much to do in Madrid.

It’s not a holiday for her- she’s in her home town staying in her own house. I’d be annoyed if someone expected me to book time off work just because they were visiting me. I’d expect to spend time with them on weekend and evenings (which is already quite intense and means no downtime for the host).

So yes, YABU and luckily Madrid Is a great place for solo travel.

Honestly people only have so much leave so when someone invites themselves over they have to eat into their holiday allowance to entertain you. I think it sounds fine tbh. It’s a bit of pain when people come to visit us as we are far away so we got two week visits. If the entire time is booked off thats a whole family holiday gone for us.

You’re going to Madrid and this Is all you can think to do?! My mind is blown 😂

Indeed. They're on different dates abroad. Many other countries such as Spain have more public holidays than us.

Two days with someone you don't know super well is a lot! I've done this even with close friends when I lived abroad because I didn't want to spend my annual leave repeating the same city tour with everyone, I'd send them out with suggestions of things to do (I'm sure your friend can point you in the direction for Madrid, there are nice parks and cafes for strolls and people watching and amazing museums!). YANBU to be daunted by having the time to yourself if you're not used to it, but she's not done anything rude. Hope you enjoy the solo travel and the evenings/weekend with your friend!

It can be unsettling when things are not as you expect them to be. This would be my dream short break though. A chance to
catch up with a friend. And a chance for some solo time too. But you were not expecting that and it’s taken you by surprise. Try to turn it into a positive. There is so much to do and see in Madrid.

Your friend tried to get the Friday off but couldn’t. That’s just one of those things. As to the Monday I expect she did not even think about it being a bank holiday for you. Or certainly didn’t think you would expect it to be one for her too. It’s not her fault.

I hope you have a lovely time.

Oh, I went to Madrid years ago to a, friend who was working. It was before Google maps, or being able to book tours easily so I just wandered round.
I was a bit nervous at first but I had a wonderful time!

Also quite shocked at the level of hand holding you seem to need, it seems you feel completely helpless without a friend to tell you what to do.

You’re in one of the four or five most exciting cities in the world (one that is extremely tourist friendly) and all you can do is think about getting drunk and feel resentful that your friend (who you don’t know that well) isn’t taking annual leave to chaperone you. You seem unbelievably entitled.

Go out on your own: you will do yourself a favour.

No - but they are usually called public holidays (and also in the UK they were originally called public holidays). Every country in Europe has them as well as many out of Europe.

And your problem is? 😆

Seriously, you are going to Madrid and can't find out for yourself what there is to do there, so would sit around and drink cocktails? I assumed from the OP she must live somewhere that tourists don't usually visit.

Ooh OP that sounds a bit intense.

We had this before when I was younger. Acquaintances of parents said they would 'call in' and see us and they actually bloody turned up and dressed it up as a 'surprise'. Not the same situation as you're in, but they expected a holiday type situation and wanted us kids to stay off school and parents not to work. They were on holiday mode and we were in life mode. So entitled.

YABVU. We live abroad and have a constant stream of people doing us the ‘favour’ of a visit when it’s almost always mainly about them getting free accommodation and a few free meals for a holiday. We are happy to have friends visit, but over the years we have stopped treating them like VIP guests because we would basically be running a tour service if we did. Madrid is touristy enough that I imagine lots of her friends and family have offered her the ‘favour’ of a visit since she moved. If she took off time for every visit, she probably wouldn’t have any leave left to go on holiday herself. How would you feel if everyone you knew decided to use you for free holiday accommodation and then also expected you to use up your holiday allocation taking them on one tour after the next of your city?

Just enjoy your time together and be thankful she had blocked off the weekend for you! Madrid is perfectly safe to explore solo on the days she is working.

YABU

I’d love a couple of days exploring to myself and 2 days to see my friend, plus I’m assuming she’ll meet you for dinner on the Friday. Honestly maybe it would be a non-issue for her too so she hasn’t thought it would upset you. Plus - free accommodation! Dream!

Is it possible that she sees this as a friend/ex-colleague staying with her to visit her city rather than as visit to see her specifically? I think 2 days together and some days alone exploring is probably a good balance. Offer to pay for a meal out? There's some great ideas on this thread, but you could make another in a travel thread and really plan your days if you're anxious.

In my circles this would be a standard for ex work friends - they appear in our city, stay with one of us, we spend some days together and some days they do their own things or meet other people.

I'd arrange my work to be able to leave early afternoon one of the work days and we can make some plans.

When I worked abroad and people visited me there, sometimes they came for 10 days or so, I took one day vacation, so we got 2 weekends and 1 day together. It worked well for all of us.

In the same time, if you have never spent time abroad alone, it really isn't a big issue that you haven't thought about it this way. Now you know the plan, take it from here.

Edit: and congratulations to making the first step and going there. The friendship might not survive long time, but if noone makes any effort, it would inevitably die out.

Two things amaze me about your op:

• that you’ve not clicked that she wants to keep her holidays for what she wants to do, not entertain a colleague who’s imposed herself on her

• that you can’t imagine that there’s anything else to do in one of Europe’s most historically significant capitals than drink cocktails

Time you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone a bit then.

FWIW, my 18yo visited her friend overseas earlier this year. There were days when her friend had to work and dd was left to her own devices. She had an absolutely wonderful time!

Not really. They're just called national holidays in most countries, so the term "bank holiday" will probably be confusing to many.

Also many, many friendships that work well normally can hit the rocks with the intensity of “togetherness” on shared holidays. I think it’s a good thing you have breathing space from each other. Two days and two days is a nice balance.

I love nothing more than exploring a new destination and it’s not as though Madrid is a sleepy little backwater. Do some Google searches and put together a little itinerary for yourself. Guernica would be a must-see for me.

Do you really need your hand held every day of the trip? Although you did think bank holidays would be the same in Spain so maybe you do... Time to put on your big girl pants and learn to keep yourself amused for a few hours!

It would never occur to me to expect a friend to take time off when I am visiting (nor would I take time off when they are visiting). There is so much to do in Madrid: Prado, Reina Sofia, the Royal Palace, the cathedral, go on a day trip to Toledo, none of it is that hard! I went all around the place on my own when I was in my early 20s.

I'd love to go to the prado in Madrid
Also shopping would be fun

Madrid is just great for mooching

I’d love this and recently did just this with a friend in Berlin. Went on a walking tour and did lots of mooching. And saw friend. Made it clear that I didn’t expect friend to take time off

ifs a shame that it’s only just become clear that you’re in your own, but otherwise sounds fab