Awful week - am I expecting too much from boyfriend?

32 replies

Rizzo8 · 21/05/2024 23:31

I had to euthanise my cat at 19 years old this week and I am heartbroken.

Regardless of what people say or think she was a constant companion who was there during all my biggest life events. I really loved her and I am crying almost constantly.

I've been with boyfriend for under a year but it's fairly serious. A few days before the death of my pet he moved 3.5 hours away elsewhere in the UK for a new job, so we have just become long distance. He adored the cat/she him and he cried from afar and has offered comforting words as much as he can

We are due to meet next month for a few days but I really thought he would offer to come back for a weekend after this happened?

My relatives and best friend are providing physical support and presence but he hasn't offered to do anything.

OP posts:

earther · 21/05/2024 23:48

I just think if the other way around I would have gone to him this weekend.
That would be your choice to go.
Sorry but you are expecting too much.
I wouldn't be driving 3.5 hours back either because your cat died.
You have friends and family and him on the other end of the phone.

Justbrowsing2024 · 21/05/2024 23:45

I wouldn't travel back because a cat died. Wouldn't expect my bf too especially after moving and starting a new job.
Talk to him though, he may not realise what you need so tell him

OnehundredStars · 21/05/2024 23:40

I don’t have a pet so I don’t fully get it but I am sorry to hear of your sadness. I wouldn’t wreck a relationship because he hasn’t come back because if it.

logginginloggingout · 21/05/2024 23:40

Sorry for you loss but YABU.
He did not know the cat was gonna die.
And with work being a new job and having to drive 3.5 hours to get back to you its a lot.
I dont think his new boss would enjoy the fact his new worker cant start or started to have days off to go comfort his girlfriend because of the death of her cat.
I know it awful but at least he rang and you have family around you.

Original poster

Rizzo8 · 21/05/2024 23:40

Although he is starting the new job he already has flexibility to work from home (and has worked from my place several times) - he only went in to the workplace 2 days last week

He doesn't know anyone yet so he's just unpacking boxes here and there and exploring the area at weekends

I understand I need to empathize with him too. I just think if the other way around I would have gone to him this weekend.

OP posts:

MiddleParking · 21/05/2024 23:39

Sorry about your cat. I think your expectations are certainly misaligned with what he’s offering, rather than definitively ‘too much’.

DontKnow1988 · 21/05/2024 23:34

Gently, YABU and expecting too much. He's 3.5 hrs away and is starting a new job, he has quite a lot going on too.

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