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Original poster

To feel repulsed by my husband and hate my life right now?

154 replies

cookiedoughh · 21/05/2024 23:26

I’m typing this as I’m lying in my 8 year old daughters room. I’m miserable. I got everything ready for work and the kids stuff for morning and just wanted to drop into bed but yet another night where I feel sick as I walked into mine and husbands bedroom and the stink of faeces just hits me! He’s gone to the toilet in the Ensuite and not sprayed and I know there will be disgusting marks left in toilet which he won’t clean. I feel so sick I couldn’t even take my contacts out. I’m too tired to find the air freshener which one of the kids has moved. If it’s not the disgusting smell he leaves he snores and a few times when I’ve told him I’ve got an important day at work and please not to wake me up I’m woken to him banging around the room looking for things and also I feel embarrassed writing this but he’s been wanking himself whilst I’ve tried to sleep. That’s why I always let him go up first and then I go to bed around 10:45/11:00. I’m knackered, I just want to sleep and have a good night sleep. I feel
so sleep deprived. Even tonight in my DD’s room I won’t have a good night sleep as she will be tossing n turning in her sleep and bed is so tiny I will wake up to an arm or leg hitting me (obviously she’s not doing on purpose). I’m sorry to write this on here but I’m so fed up I’m just really fed up of my life. I just need some sleep. I often nap after coming from work (try to) but kids wake me up, I put tv in for them but can’t even manage 10 mins nap.

sorry for any typos and sorry for TMI.

OP posts:
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Wheredidileavemycarkeys · 23/05/2024 13:16

Ew.

No arguments from me. He sound's disgusting.

EverythingYouDoIsaBalloon · 23/05/2024 09:09

Ask him very nicely not to dump in the en suite, and ask him to use the bog brush. And please do it without having a row.

Oh and, OP, please remember to put a ribbon in your hair and ask prettily. 🙄

tkwal · 22/05/2024 17:44

I do think that if all was well in your marriage the issues you have mentioned would not feel so insurmountable. To read some of the responses on the post it would appear that a MumsNetter's poos don't stink and that they would delicately draw their skirts away rather than brush against a man.
Yes, if he leaves skidmarks in the loo he should clean them off
Yes constantly pleasuring himself while in the bed beside you is unacceptable.There are other times and places.
The banging around could perhaps be solved if he organised himself before bedtime and had his clothes etc ready for the next day.
Could you bring yourself to discuss these issues with him ? Because to me, at the moment, it seems like you are simmering away and will soon explode...maybe in his direction but more likely you will no longer be able to cope and your health will suffer.
If you can't talk to him, or he refuses to engage then, sadly, I think your marriage is over.

theworldie · 22/05/2024 17:42

bogoffeternal · 22/05/2024 16:29

You're staying with your farter who doesn't wash his hands, but happy to tell others to split up over inconsiderate shitting and wanking?

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣
I don’t think the odd fart and too-quick hand wash are grounds for divorce, though I have considered it.
If however dh started stinking out the en-suite when I’m about to go to bed, leaving skid marks in the bog and blatantly spanking the monkey when I’m laying next to him I would be up for divorce.

There are levels of disgustingness.. My own dh is probably teetering into amber - op’s is slsp-bang in the red zone!

azlazee1 · 22/05/2024 17:39

If you don't have another bedroom, sleep on the couch for a few nights. May not be the best solution but at least you'll get some rest. If you have another bathroom, use it and don't clean up after him. I would hand him the cleaner and a cloth and tell him to do it himself.

eggplant16 · 22/05/2024 17:31

Exactlab · 22/05/2024 16:54

Gross.

I have a separate bedroom to my partner and a separate bathroom.

We both require separate closets and need our own space.

I don’t think he poops in his ensuite because that’s where he brushes his teeth.

Your husband is utterly vile and has no respect for you. You need to be able to get some sleep.

Some folk have to share a very small space. Bu they still manage basic respect.

YouJustDoYou · 22/05/2024 17:20

My stp sister had a partner like that. When he would stay over, he would;

  1. wank in the morning, in the same room people where sleeping.
  2. Shit in the toilet leaving poo stains and stinking up the whole bottom floor of the house
  3. let out sudden, large burps, then blow the burb smell out the side of his mouth like it was tobacco smoke or something
  4. Fart, loudly, laugh whilst the stink cloud floated around, gassing everyone and making us gag.
  5. Take the largest of food portions for himself before anyone else had a chance
  6. PIck his teeth at the table
  7. JOke about sex/talk about sex/ all the time.

The list could go on, but I feel sick enough as it is.

LuluBlakey1 · 22/05/2024 17:16

Does he know how repulsive and repugnant he is to you? DH would be horrified and really hurt if he found out his behaviour and habits had led to me feeling like that about him. Perhaps you should tell him(n those words, quietly that you are moving into a spare room because he disgusts you so much and you can no longer bear to be near him. Might make him think.

Riversideandrelax · 22/05/2024 17:08

billyt · 21/05/2024 23:55

My wife passed away in January so things are different now. But if I needed a clear out I'd always use the downstairs loo, even at night. The bathroom is right next to the 'master' bedroom but I didn't think it was decent to inflict any possible stench on my wife. Now it's just me anything goes!

But I always have and do still clean up after myself.

@cookiedoughh Does your pig of a husband have any decent attributes?

You really need to raise you bar as it's on the ground!

I'm sorry for your loss.

But was your wife never downstairs? What about guests? Because I think it's disgusting to 'have a clear out' in a small downstairs room where kids are going to be in and out and the living room and kitchen are and guests are going to be using it. I'd much rather the main bathroom be used where you can close the door and it not be used for some time.

I guess we all find different things disgusting!

DahliaSmith · 22/05/2024 16:55

bogoffeternal · 22/05/2024 16:23

Men can be gross and inconsiderate. Who knew right?

There's a middle ground between silently suffering and getting a divorce.

Show quote history

So can women, but these are the ones we don't stay in relationship with because we respect ourselves more.

Exactlab · 22/05/2024 16:54

Gross.

I have a separate bedroom to my partner and a separate bathroom.

We both require separate closets and need our own space.

I don’t think he poops in his ensuite because that’s where he brushes his teeth.

Your husband is utterly vile and has no respect for you. You need to be able to get some sleep.

Gettingbysomehow · 22/05/2024 16:54

TheTartfulLodger · 22/05/2024 07:28

Well obviously womens poo smells like lavender and they never snore.

I snore and I use a bloody CPAP machine so I don't wake the entire house up or have a heart attack or crash the car from lack of sleep.
If you snore you can actually lose your driving licence. I was 1 point away from losing mine when I did the test.

badatdecisions · 22/05/2024 16:50

Just sleep in the living room, or make him sleep in there. Unless you have another spare bedroom, in which case just sleep in there.

MonsteraMama · 22/05/2024 16:31

TheRedEngine · 22/05/2024 15:09

Honestly. He's lying in bed next to his wife whom he fancies. Nature will happen and boys will be boys. When did you last let him make love to you? Years ago? Love making is better than any sleeping tablet.

Ask him very nicely not to dump in the en suite, and ask him to use the bog brush. And please do it without having a row.

But divorce, for this???? He doesn't choose to snore.

I really think a couple of sessions of couples' therapy would do you both a world of good. I wish you both all the best, and lots of good happy times together.

Edited

Tell me you're a man without telling me you're a man.

Let him "make love" to her? Barf.

bogoffeternal · 22/05/2024 16:29

theworldie · 22/05/2024 16:17

Oh he’s disgusting. Dh has some habits I find a bit gross (farting in front of me and not washing his hands properly) etc but he’d never take a dump in the en-suite if I was around and the wanking next to you is just 😱.

He sounds utterly contemptuous of you - he literally doesn’t give a shit what you think. Ltb.

You're staying with your farter who doesn't wash his hands, but happy to tell others to split up over inconsiderate shitting and wanking?

bogoffeternal · 22/05/2024 16:23

DahliaSmith · 22/05/2024 15:56

@bogoffeternal apt.

Do you poo at bedtime within feet of the marital bed?

Leave your skid marks in there for your DH to scrub out?

Wank nightly next to your DH while he's breathing in the smell of your faeces, to the point where he can't sleep so has to climb in bed with your eight year old child in the hope that he will get more shut eye?

If not, why not?

Men can be gross and inconsiderate. Who knew right?

There's a middle ground between silently suffering and getting a divorce.

GingerPirate · 22/05/2024 16:22

theworldie · 22/05/2024 16:20

Honestly. He's lying in bed next to his wife whom he fancies. Nature will happen and boys will be boys. When did you last let him make love to you? Years ago? Love making is better than any sleeping tablet.

Ask him very nicely not to dump in the en suite, and ask him to use the bog brush. And please do it without having a row.

But divorce, for this???? He doesn't choose to snore.

Are you for real? Because if you are I’m very embarrassed for you.

🤬😂🤢

theworldie · 22/05/2024 16:20

Honestly. He's lying in bed next to his wife whom he fancies. Nature will happen and boys will be boys. When did you last let him make love to you? Years ago? Love making is better than any sleeping tablet.

Ask him very nicely not to dump in the en suite, and ask him to use the bog brush. And please do it without having a row.

But divorce, for this???? He doesn't choose to snore.

Are you for real? Because if you are I’m very embarrassed for you.

theworldie · 22/05/2024 16:17

Oh he’s disgusting. Dh has some habits I find a bit gross (farting in front of me and not washing his hands properly) etc but he’d never take a dump in the en-suite if I was around and the wanking next to you is just 😱.

He sounds utterly contemptuous of you - he literally doesn’t give a shit what you think. Ltb.

DahliaSmith · 22/05/2024 16:15

@Nanny0gg James the Red Engine has hopefully puffed off into the distance with his irrelevant cargo of misogynistic claptrap behind him.

Nanny0gg · 22/05/2024 16:12

TheRedEngine · 22/05/2024 15:09

Honestly. He's lying in bed next to his wife whom he fancies. Nature will happen and boys will be boys. When did you last let him make love to you? Years ago? Love making is better than any sleeping tablet.

Ask him very nicely not to dump in the en suite, and ask him to use the bog brush. And please do it without having a row.

But divorce, for this???? He doesn't choose to snore.

I really think a couple of sessions of couples' therapy would do you both a world of good. I wish you both all the best, and lots of good happy times together.

Edited

What's with this 'Let him' nonsense?

The 1950s are thataway <<<<<<<<<<

And please tell me you're not the parent of sons

Boys will be boys...

Don't we want boys to grow up to be decent men?

Nanny0gg · 22/05/2024 16:08

Nanaof1 · 22/05/2024 16:02

I haven't read the whole thread but if you do not have a window in your bathroom, try a match (I use wooden ones), light it and let it burn for a few seconds. Have used this for over 50 years. I like it better than the sprays, which just cover the smell and candles, which need to be watched.

Read the OP's posts. It's way past that

Cattery · 22/05/2024 16:04

DahliaSmith · 22/05/2024 15:56

@bogoffeternal apt.

Do you poo at bedtime within feet of the marital bed?

Leave your skid marks in there for your DH to scrub out?

Wank nightly next to your DH while he's breathing in the smell of your faeces, to the point where he can't sleep so has to climb in bed with your eight year old child in the hope that he will get more shut eye?

If not, why not?

I’m laughing 🤣🤣🤣

Nanaof1 · 22/05/2024 16:02

I haven't read the whole thread but if you do not have a window in your bathroom, try a match (I use wooden ones), light it and let it burn for a few seconds. Have used this for over 50 years. I like it better than the sprays, which just cover the smell and candles, which need to be watched.

Nanny0gg · 22/05/2024 15:59

bogoffeternal · 22/05/2024 15:46

Because however off putting talking about wanking and smelly poo's is, it's still preferable to breaking up the home of an 8 year old.

Honestly, the pathetic, petty, mundane crap that people think it's fine to get a divorce over blows my mind.

Show quote history

Have you ever read anything more deeply than just decoding the words on the page?

It's clear that the level of disrespect (contempt) the OP's husband has for her needs more than a 'talking to'

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