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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do you know what's in your parents' Will(s)?

116 replies

YorkshireTrailRunner · 21/05/2024 20:47

Just that really.
I've spent the past 20+ years begging my folks to make Wills, to which they always retorted 'we don't need to, you're our only child, it will all come to you' - I'm 50, gay (lesbian) childless, for context.
Found out this evening that they have made Wills but they hadn't told me. And that they have left stipulated amounts to charities. My Will leaves everything to them, only goes to charities - including theirs- if they pre-decease me.
It's absolutely their money to do with as they wish, but there's a real chance one or either will need care. AIBU to swallow any discomfort and ask for more disclosure?

OP posts:
mewkins · 21/05/2024 21:10

My mum has given me and my sister a copy of her will each. I think she found probate for my dad a few years ago tedious admin so wanted to make sure it's as easy as possible for us.

Original poster
YorkshireTrailRunner · 21/05/2024 21:08

pizzaHeart · 21/05/2024 20:55

I’m a bit confused about your point, how leaving something to charities is connected with needing care?

It's that they have stipulated the charities' benefits at point of - for want of a better noun - death, which as I (albeit, almost clueless interpretation) think means that this will be taken out of the sum.

OP posts:
Jeezitneverends · 21/05/2024 21:08

My parents are both away now, but we always knew it was 50/50 between me and my sister

Chocolateorange22 · 21/05/2024 21:06

My parents have tried to tell me several times. I've told them I actually don't care what's in them, I'll find out when I need to. I think my mum gave me a card with the details of where hers is kept, my dad I have no idea where his is.

I have a feeling as they both remarried that it's being split around all of the kids from both sides. As I say I couldn't care less, if there is something then bonus but I'm not actively just sitting here waiting for either of them to die to get my hands on it.

WearyAuldWumman · 21/05/2024 21:02

pizzaHeart · 21/05/2024 20:55

I’m a bit confused about your point, how leaving something to charities is connected with needing care?

I'm assuming that the OP is worried that the money left to charities might be needed to pay for care for the remaining parent.

Hermione7 · 21/05/2024 21:00

AlanBrendaCelia · 21/05/2024 20:57

My mother is in her late seventies and I don’t even know if she has a will, let alone what it says.

Its basic life admin 🤷‍♀️

Cbljgdpk · 21/05/2024 21:00

Yes I do and they know what’s in mine; experience has taught me that it’s best to be open about these things

RandomMess · 21/05/2024 20:58

Yep and it's been very hurtful.

"D"B has been massively advantaged financially by them for decades and him and his DC will continue to be.

🙄

Needless to say I'll not be stepping forward to assist in helping care for them etc especially as they all moved together about 350 miles away...

Nomdejeur · 21/05/2024 20:58

Yes, they have told us (me & my db). 75% split between us, 25% split between the grandchildren.

AlanBrendaCelia · 21/05/2024 20:57

My mother is in her late seventies and I don’t even know if she has a will, let alone what it says.

Mindblownawaybyfog · 21/05/2024 20:56

Dm has not a penny to leave and df's dw will make sure she gets anything he has...

Yellowhammer09 · 21/05/2024 20:55

I know what's in my parents' will. They're very open about it. I have a few items of theirs lined up which are of great sentimental value to me and not my siblings, so I've specifically asked for them.

pizzaHeart · 21/05/2024 20:55

I’m a bit confused about your point, how leaving something to charities is connected with needing care?

Maryamlouise · 21/05/2024 20:54

No, but my DM has said her DH had a lifetime interest in their house and I have the impression otherwise equally divided between me and siblings. Assume DF has done similar and hopefully not relying on going via step mum. Either way not really bothered as have sufficient income and assets myself and my plan to retire isn't contingent on any inheritance

BuyOrBake · 21/05/2024 20:53

My parents were very open with me about their wills. My dad died last year and everything went to my mum. Her will leaves 50% of investments and the house to me and my brother and I also get the contents and her jewellery........... she knows I will be the one sorting out everything and that I will share out things. There will be no drama with my brother.
I manage her finances already!

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 21/05/2024 20:51

i have one living parent left and they have said everything is going 50/50 between me and my full brother.

we have a half brother who we’ve met once but parent hasn’t met but he’s not included. DB and I have agreed that if he contests and wants 1/3 we will go with that.