Do you know what's in your parents' Will(s)?

My mum has explicitly told me that both my brother and I are her executors and her sole beneficiaries. If either of us die before her, our children are named to receive our half instead.

My dad hasn't ever told me the contents of his will that clearly, but I believe it divides his estate up between his four children (I have two half siblings on his side). I don't know if he's specified what happens if any of us predecease him.

Blimey @Charlie2121 are you ok with that?

My Dad died first and left everything to my Mum. Mum died and left everything split equally between her DD's. They both told us all that would happen and it did.

My mother asked me to be an executor of her will and gave me a copy. My siblings are beneficiaries, I am not.

Not really. I'm pretty sure it's mostly split between me and my sibling, but I'm not sure what has been left for my children.
My parents aren't together, I've no idea about my dad's will although I think I am (or was) the executor.

Yes. My DM and DF had mirror wills. Everything to each other first and when the second one dies it goes 50/50 to me and my brother, with about 40k each going to my two adult DC (brother doesn't have any children). It doesn't bother me that my family will, in effect, get a bit more than DB. I'm the one who did all of DF's probate (DB and me were both executors). I'm the one doing 98% of care for my DM. I'll be the one doing probate when DM dies and no doubt I'll end up doing the majority of the house clearance and organising the sale of her house etc.

They can change the will at any point, so even if you know now, it may not be the final will.

dh thought he knew what was in his dad’s will. So did his mum.

nope, at some point he had done a new will, leaving everything to his brother. No explanation, no reasoning. Didn’t find out till two years after he died when his mum wanted to know what had happened and why she’d had nothing.

fairly sure my mum’s is a simple everything to us two children. There’s a chance she may have left everything to the dog though.

Yes.

It's a clean 3 way split between siblings.

But can see my eldest brother causing all sorts of trouble over it and hopefully it's years away yet.

He'll have an endless amount of reasons why he deserves more than 1/3 or why he should live in the house (but won't be able to buy myself and DS out)

Honest it's a headache I'm dreading dealing with.

It’s a shame they have actually named the charities in the will. The big ones employ people to look at all probate records and can be incredibly aggressive in claiming their legacy. It was normal practice during my working life to name the charities in a separate expression of wishes to avoid this pressure on a grieving family.

They are like vultures. I’ve seen the effect on the families when the house doesn’t sell. Cuts no ice with them. They want the money asap.

I see now. I suppose it depends on the sum but obviously with care costs are rising you have to think about these things.
I would mention about possible complications but you can’t obviously force them.
I don’t know what in my mum’s will ( Dad died and she’s got everything)
she always talks how she wants us (children and grandchildren) to divide things and my answer is always: if you want us to do something in a certain way - leave a will. But I’m not sure she’s done it. She is too superstitious.

Yes, I'm an only child (and parents are divorced so living separately), and both have always been very open to me. I will be inheriting everything left by my DM (house and investments) and 90% of my Dad's estate (house and investments), the other 10% of which is to be split between my cousins.

My parents have been gone some time, but my Dsis and I both knew what was in their wills - they had mirror wills, and when the surviving partner went (ended up being my mum), everything was split exactly 50/50 between me and my sister. They also set aside a nice sum for the executor (my cousin) - to thank them for their work, enough for a week in the sun for a family. It all went very smoothly.

Perhaps they think you have enough OP?

My parents gave my brother and me copies of their mirror wills. I am divorced and have given my dc copies of my will and have arranged LPoA with my dc as the attorneys. I had written a kind of will myself years ago - when you could get a form at the Post Office - and got it witnessed by two colleagues, but after Mum and Dad died I went to a solicitor and updated it. My uncle died intestate and with his affairs in a jumble and it was a pain in the arse.

Well that backfired didnt it, op?

As you say, it is their money and they can do what they want with it.

Let sleeping dogs lie

I haven't seen the will but I have had a copy in a brown envelope for over 20 years.

It won’t necessarily mean you inherit less and could simplify the admin after.
If they’re leaving 10% or more to charity it reduces the inheritance tax payable. And more importantly simplifies the probate form- you won’t have to calculate the value of their assets- right down to value of the contents of their freezer. I assume you’re executor?
But now you know you need to know exactly what’s in the will- you feel unappreciated and resentful. Imagine how awful it would be to have this sullying your relationship only to discover once they die it was to your advantage.

Yes, 50/50 to me and my sibling. However in a weird and probably doomed to failure attempt to avoid IH, it looks as though the will leaves everything ‘in trust’. It seems oddly written and was done years ago by a dodgy, now defunct firm of solicitors miles away from where they live. I’ve begged my mother to get advice on a standard will because a. I disagree strongly with attempting to avoid IH and b. it looks like it could potentially be a nightmare to unwravel.
To be honest, I’d far anything that would go to me be to my children instead.

I assume that there are bequests to charities close to their hearts, something to my niece, with the main body (if there's anything left after care costs of course) is split half and half with my sibling. Probably. They'd probably show me if I asked. But it seems rude to. I would obviously prefer them alive to receiving some money. And I certainly wouldn't resent them leaving some to causes they care about. They're people, not just my parents.

I have made a Will but have NO intention whatsoever, of telling anyone but my DH what's in it. I hate the way that people assume that they're entitled to anything you have, and some even seem to rely on it. I always knew that my parents had nothing to leave, and feel that I was happier for not having any expectations, whereas my DH often used to say 'When DM goes (she was the last living parent), I'll be in for a decent amount'. I used to hate that he assumed that, as apart from anything else it is NEVER guaranteed, parents could decide to leave it all to charity, may have debts that you're unaware of, have to spend it on a care home, or nursing fees, etc. It just seems to me, that in some situations, people just don't see the need to work hard for themselves, as they 'know', they'll be in for a big payout on the death of their parents.

Yes. My mother and stepdad have mirror wills and I am executor so saw them when my mother died a couple of years ago

yes I have just had a series of meetings with mine about their wills. I am an only child and we have discussed their LPAs as well and what they want in terms of DNR orders; staying in their homes for as long as possible etc.

Based on that I assume there will be nothing left. Whatever is though is divided between my 2 Dcs- with the portion for DS1 held in trust as he is disabled.

They found the whole process very confronting and distressing (although they initiated it). In a previous career I worked in the probate department of a law firm so I am more matter of fact.

After the decisions were made they had to take a bit of time to just absorb it all.

My mum and dad had mirror wills with everything being left to one another and then to me. Mum showed me where the wills were...

By the time I had to look, Mum had dementia. I found an empty envelope marked "Wills". In the end, I found them in a biscuit tin.

Yes. There's also the fact that if they've specified a percentage rather than an actual sum, this can hold up the distribution of assets - the charities can demand that absolutely everything is valued.