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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my best friend is taking the piss

509 replies

Findingthisweekhard · 21/05/2024 14:59

Me best friends daughter and dd are in the same year at the same school. I have older and younger children too and she also has a 1 year old. She’s got a 1 year old and has recently gone back to work full time, her husband also works full time.
She has no formal childcare. She was due to use the same childminder as me but changed her mind last minute as they didn’t want to pay for it.
Now almost weekly she’s asking me to pick up her school age dd and have her after school until she finishes work. Last week I had a day annual leave with my young kids at the childminder as some much needed down time, the night before she messaged begging me to have her little one for the day as she had no other options and had to go in to the office (she does twice a week). I reluctantly agreed and it was awful. My chilled day wondering the shops and lunch with my sister turned in to me rocking a buggy for hours, eating my lunch stood up bouncing him and just generally miserable.
shes just messaged me again asking to do the school run and it’s given me absolute rage.
ive dropped my hours to part time and pay for wrap around childcare on my office days and a childminder for all my working hours so we have less disposable income but live within our means. She’s taking advantage of this, to their benefit of 2 full time salaries and no childcare costs.
she really is my best friend but this can’t go on, aibu to stop collecting her child from school when I’m there collecting mine anyway?

OP posts:
GogAndMagog · 21/05/2024 15:06

@KreedKafer yes, this is spot on.

Say no, it's not possible as you've sorted childcare for a reason and to then do hers makes no logical sense.

BedDepartment · 21/05/2024 15:04

You're being unreasonable to do any of this. Just say no. Tell her she needs to make formal childcare arrangements, and that you won't be looking after her children again.

KreedKafer · 21/05/2024 15:03

Your friend is massively taking the piss. Her child, her problem. You're not a free childminder. I don't know how she's got the nerve.

The only unreasonable thing you've done so far is to put up with it as long as you have! I can't believe you agreed to look after her baby when you had plans with your sister and had paid for childcare for your own kids.

ashitghost · 21/05/2024 15:03

YANBU You are her unpaid childminder. You are being used.

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/05/2024 15:03

She really isn’t your best friend. She’s going to have an almighty strop when you say you won’t be doing anymore free childcare for you. But do it anyway. Your priority is your own children. Her lack of planing isn’t your problem.

Stompythedinosaur · 21/05/2024 15:03

You have to say no. She's taking the mickey. There is no way on gods earth I would have had her baby while paying for yours to be cared for unless it was an emergency hospitalisation or similar.

rubyslippers · 21/05/2024 15:02

She’s also taking massive advantage of your friendship and actually it’s really shitty of her
a one off emergency is ok - I’d always try and help a mate out but she’s deliberately not paid for childcare

shenandoahvalley · 21/05/2024 15:01

I'm enraged for you.

This is no friend. She's using you. Period.

Yet ANOTHER adult who won't take responsibility for themselves....

rubyslippers · 21/05/2024 15:01

I know it’s hard but you have to say no
her cheeky fuckery is off the scale
like other working parents she’ll need to PAY for childcare like you do

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