AIBU for thinking MIL has priorities wrong with her grandson ?

Lol so if the baby falls asleep than rather than just put them down you risk waking them getting into a gro bag. What is you are out in the pram? Or in a car seat?

I remember my DS had them for night sleep but he was older. Stopped using them after he vaulted over cot sides wearing it a couple of times. Was more concerned about injury at that point.

Don't remember gro bags being around when DDs were small.

@Pettyman

no, they can sit down.

but the baby should have someone in the room with them while they sleep. Read the guidelines above.

just because you were lucky with yours doesn't mean this isn't safer for babies. Don't be spouting unsafe stuff which could put other babies at risk.

Grow bags - but you can use blankets but they are suppose to be done certain way.

Why would you watch your tumble dryer?

Excuse me? Under a rock? Are you this rude and know-it-all to everyone, or just on an anonymous internet forum? Good grief.

@yellowridinghood look up the guidance. It's nothing to do with 'watching them sleep'

Standing guard is nonsense

Might be a random question but if you not meant to use blankets on a baby what the hell do you you cover them with to keep warm

@Pettyman so is putting a baby to sleep on their back nonsense

@shenandoahvalley

errr... where have you been? Under a rock? It's been the guidance for a long time now.

Having a role and being left in sole charge are not the same thing. Just be around when she is and problem goes away.

I do think there can be a generational divide - my Mum was an attentive mother by her days standard but she was happy to leave us to scream in cots - my MIL used to leave DH alone in hotel rooms as a baby and down bottom of the garden to point others in area complained and commented.

I had a velcro baby never settled unless in my arms - ND - would out cry being left and as I was bf I found the screaming painful - so I carried and manged to do that with subsequent babies with toddlers.

My MIL didn't seem to see them as people or individual till they talked - so she often ran off with babies despite them being hungry and needing changing to show them off to others - she was not at all attuned to them and their needs. So in that respect your MIL left a happy baby alone so is ahead. My MIL got better as they got older and had better vocabulary and in mean time I was always there.

Yeh! Nonsense

@blueyavocado the guidance for being in the same room when napping is reasonably recent. She might know about being in the same room at night but when that guidance first came in, it wasn't mentioned that you should be in the same room when baby is napping

Replying to the posts re an adult being in the same room as the baby while they nap: this sort of pressure is many-fold times worse than the pressure to breastfeed imo. A baby succumbing to SIDS is obviously devastating in a life-changing way. But it's so, so important for parents to educate themselves on statistics, data and actual risk levels before turning infancy into something else that can be life-changing in a negative way (and of course the price will be paid mostly by mothers rather than fathers).

Of course these baby-centered charities prioritise the child's wellbeing. But I think it's extremely irresponsible of them putting out information the way they do. It's sensationalism, for engagement, just like so many other things in life BUT WORSE because they prey on vulnerable new parents who are hormonally, emotionally programmed to self-sacrifice in the early weeks and months and also exhausted.

SIDS rates around the world vary. I would be amazed to see reputable data showing that in societies where a committed adult spends every single nap time and overnight in the same room as their baby for 6 months, SIDS rates are lower. Frankly, I would be amazed to see reputable data showing significant numbers of parents spending every single naptime and overnight in the same rooom as their baby for 6 months - period.

@BeaRF75 the number of babies dying from SIDs has reduced over the years, that is down to new knowledge and guidance. I survived being put on my front to sleep as a baby, I survived being in a car without seatbelts/car seat. Funnily enough, I put my baby on his back when in his cot and used a car seat/seatbelt

Then you don't get favours done for you. Simple

The baby isn't upset in any of the examples given?

A lot of kids survived riding in vehicles without seatbelts. That doesn’t mean that it was advisable or that it didn’t increase the danger. Guidelines have changed and should be followed and again they still allow for some small tasks to be done.

If you are genuinely interested in learning and that is a sincere question, there is a wealth of information online about safer sleeping recommendations and the studies behind them. Including information on why babies are safer sleeping in a room with their sleeping parents as opposed to sleeping in a room alone. Sleeping adults sharing the same space are still a protective factor.

It sounds to me like she's used to having little ones around and you're not. She's not done a thing wrong.

@crumblingschools I never did. They are 35 and 27 now. You need the time when they’re napping to get on with jobs

Most of us survived being put in a pram at the bottom of the garden for hours 😂 So there's room for different approaches. I'm not sure that any baby needs to be cuddled constantly, tbh