AIBU for thinking MIL has priorities wrong with her grandson ?

I didn’t

Ok so if you have a baby, you’re supposed to cuddle them whenever they are awake. And whenever they are asleep you are to be in same room watching them.

when are you supposed to do normal and necessary stuff like tidying and cleaning, showering and washing and drying and styling hair, cooking and exercising?!

Then why denigrate the posters who are not of the same mind as you as "ridiculous"?

Personally we just kept the baby downstairs until we went to bed. They napped on us or in a moses basket in the living room. Both of them were massive cluster feeders anyway so spent a lot of the evening feeding.

Of course not saying that's the right way but it was the way we did it as a family.

Your baby doesn't have to be cuddled every waking minute. When you have other children and toddlers to deal with you'll realise that they are perfectly happy without your constant attention

I don't think shes done anything wrong. Its natural to be over-cautious with your baby but you need to relax a little

My babies were all left while I got on with necessary stuff. They are part of a family, not the whole centre of attention - life has to go on around them. As long as the baby is safe, that is all that really matters - they do not need attention 100% of the time.

If you have a concern about how the blanket is put on then you should voice it politely, but I see no other cause for complaint. Cut the poor woman a bit of slack!

I personally did - I would actually go up an hour earlier while DH had him downstairs and chill out for a bit. He would bring him up to me (we co-slept) and I would watch TV with headphones on while he slept next to me. I didn’t mind doing this at all but it might not work for you.

You made my point - we are all different. We should trust each mother to read and understand the guidance and the risks and make the right decisions according to what is best for her baby, her and her family.
A quick read of this forum will also show you that I’m not the only one to feel this way also.

I’m not asking this to cause argument, I’m genuinely interested as I have a 9 week old - do the majority stay with sleeping baby the whole time? Eg when baby starts going to bed at 7/8pm staying upstairs in the bedroom with them? Baby comes upstairs when I go to bed now but his bedtime is getting earlier!

Well, good for you, but we're not all the same. I loved my DCs as babies but really struggled with the demands of parenting that age, especially the way they had to be with you ALL the time. At times (especially in the sling) they felt like millstones around my neck. The frustration was intense. Being able to get away for an hour or so while they napped was a life saver. I would have been a much worse parent without it.

A quick browse of the parenting forum here will show you I'm not the only one to feel that way.

Of course it does.

I’m not a first time mum and disagree with everything you’ve said.

Absolutely this!
Its like - have a baby and then treat the baby like an inconvenience!

Yes because that’s what she said 🙄

Why are so many people taking this to a ridiculous degree? Why would a mom have a nervous breakdown simply be spending MOST of the time in the room with their baby while they sleep? Many, many things contribute to a ‘nervous breakdown’
I used to take DS out for a walk in his pram every day to get him to sleep, then get home and wheel him in through the garden, park him up outside the kitchen window so I could see him and pop in, make my toast and coffee and sit down outside with him while he slept. Those were some of my fave memories just chilling with him.

When he went through a phase of not napping anywhere but on me, I would ‘gasp’ BF him to sleep and let him lie on me while I read or watched TV and had snacks and drinks by my side. Again, I used to really enjoy this time. I got things done around the house with him in a sling - easy. No nervous breakdown here.

I wouldn't leave a baby on the floor if I thought our dogs would wander in, they're lickers, which I'm not keen on.

You've asked politely for her to do things a certain way and been ignored. That would annoy me. I'm a grandparent and do as asked which varies depending whose home I am in.

I just sat holding my baby and only did chores when he was asleep!
Or I took him out in pram or to buggy fit but still interacted with him and let him be able to see me

She's not precious for

1. Not wanting loose blankets on her baby it's not safe

1. Expecting someone who said they'd say hi him for 15 mins to , you know, actually watch him.

Op
I agree her priorities are one - just don't leave baby in her care alone. She can still visit.

For the first 6 months yes.

Maybe don’t leave the baby with her any more. He’s only 12 weeks old. Should be with his mum.

I think the issue is here that you don't want her babysitting so you are trying to find fault to prove your point.
Neither of the examples you have given imply your DC was distressed, just because you have chosen your priorities with your DC doesn't mean your MIL's must be the same.
She's obviously been able to bring up a child that you actually trust to have a child with so her parenting decisions can't have been that bad

Idiotic comment.

“the baby fits in with you” is why countless mothers feel like they are failing when their baby acts like, you know, a BABY! Trying to take a screaming baby to a cafe or expecting a baby to just sleep through etc.

babies don’t just fit in, no. If you’re not willing to adjust for your baby, and be flexible, 9/10 life will be a struggle. Everyone in my NCT group struggled massively with this.

also btw this is the sort of trope my father used to use when he dragged us round pub after pub on his custody weekends and we were bored shitless but we had to “fit in” with his life 🤣

Must be the circles I’m in, all my friends with similar aged children, mums at baby groups I go to have babies in slings/carriers.

And no I pop baby in a chair on the kitchen table to do the hot things but these are for a few seconds at a time. I also try to time feeds/naps etc so she’s in as good a mood as possible whilst I make dinner.