Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Someone mispronouncing sons name

164 replies

Neodymium · 21/05/2024 14:14

Would you consider this rude? To be fair I have not corrected this person, who we speak to regularly, as he is representing my son in a professional way. But despite hearing how my husband and I pronounce his name, he pronounces it in a different way. It didn’t used to bother me but it’s starting to get to me. Like he thinks he knows better than us and we are too ignorant to know how to say it.

for reference it’s a name starting with J that can be pronounced is a Spanish way with a ‘ya’ sound (not what we do) or with a J sound which is what we do as he is named for the English origin. In fact it is more common with the J sound but it is an uncommon name and so I think that he just thinks we are wrong and he’s trying to correct us.

Not sure if I am being unreasonable here to be slightly annoyed.

OP posts:
Hoppityhophops · 22/05/2024 08:07

Is it Elijah?

Durdledore · 22/05/2024 08:02

Have you noticed all the people though, saying the j sound is not Spanish?

Neodymium · 22/05/2024 07:56

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 22/05/2024 02:46

As a fellow pedant I do understand the need/want to be right, but I think in this case it's outweighed by the need to not be an arsehole. It's really bad form to deliberately mispronounce someone's name. Remember, it's not their fault they were called that.

You'd also have to be very sure of yourself on knowing the origins of every name and how it's meant to be pronounced in its mother tongue, or you may unknowingly be committing the same crime against non-Celtic names.

Exactly - this is the vibe I’m getting. Smug superior ‘you are too dumb to know how you should pronounce your own child’s name’. He clearly thinks he knows better than us when in fact he doesn’t.

yes he is a professional and yes he is helping my son but not out of the kindness of his heart - he is being paid to do so. Quite significantly though. So it’s not a case of being indebted to him.

i have now told him today in a message how it’s pronounced, as he mentioned how he was speaking to others today. I said wanted to clarify so that others would know how to correctly say his name. He responded to the other content in the message but completely ignored the name part. Will see what he says next time we see him I guess!

OP posts:
Swisscheeseplanted · 22/05/2024 07:44

SD1978 · 22/05/2024 01:33

Is it a Spanish name, which you/ English speakers pronounce in an English way, but ultimately it should be pronounced the way he does? I've come across a few people who have given their kids Celtic names but say them more anglicised- I always pronounce it correctly- if you use a name from a different culture, then sorry, I pronounce it the way it should be pronounced, and assume the incorrect pronunciation is an accident (or ignorance)

Correcting someone's pronunciation of their name is just extremely rude.

The pronunciation of my daughter's very traditional name has a few options. There have been threads about it here (not started by me) and there is a regional accent element to it. She has had people who insist on pronouncing it "their way", the worst being teachers, as the power imbalance meant correcting them was an issue. As an adult she just ignores it. People can't spell her name and as I said it's traditional and spelt the more common way (their are two spellings).

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 22/05/2024 02:46

SD1978 · 22/05/2024 01:33

Is it a Spanish name, which you/ English speakers pronounce in an English way, but ultimately it should be pronounced the way he does? I've come across a few people who have given their kids Celtic names but say them more anglicised- I always pronounce it correctly- if you use a name from a different culture, then sorry, I pronounce it the way it should be pronounced, and assume the incorrect pronunciation is an accident (or ignorance)

As a fellow pedant I do understand the need/want to be right, but I think in this case it's outweighed by the need to not be an arsehole. It's really bad form to deliberately mispronounce someone's name. Remember, it's not their fault they were called that.

You'd also have to be very sure of yourself on knowing the origins of every name and how it's meant to be pronounced in its mother tongue, or you may unknowingly be committing the same crime against non-Celtic names.

FriendlyNeighbourhoodAccountant · 22/05/2024 02:40

Eggplant44 · 22/05/2024 02:27

Probably Jaime.

But the Spanish pronounce that as hy-may, don't they? No Y sound.

Eggplant44 · 22/05/2024 02:27

Pinkywoo · 21/05/2024 15:17

What's the name OP?

Probably Jaime.

Neodymium · 22/05/2024 01:56

SD1978 · 22/05/2024 01:33

Is it a Spanish name, which you/ English speakers pronounce in an English way, but ultimately it should be pronounced the way he does? I've come across a few people who have given their kids Celtic names but say them more anglicised- I always pronounce it correctly- if you use a name from a different culture, then sorry, I pronounce it the way it should be pronounced, and assume the incorrect pronunciation is an accident (or ignorance)

the origin of the name is actually English and then it appeared as a Spanish name later. But it’s a very old English name that was Spanish-ised not the other way round.

so in that sense you could argue the Spanish pronunciation is wrong. the Spanish version of the name is also typically spelt differently.

it’s not a case of us saying it incorrectly.

OP posts:
SirenGirl · 22/05/2024 01:46

I don't understand why people get so offended when a name is mispronounced. It be different if they were doing it to be rude.

I get offended by things when they are meant to be offensive.

SD1978 · 22/05/2024 01:33

Is it a Spanish name, which you/ English speakers pronounce in an English way, but ultimately it should be pronounced the way he does? I've come across a few people who have given their kids Celtic names but say them more anglicised- I always pronounce it correctly- if you use a name from a different culture, then sorry, I pronounce it the way it should be pronounced, and assume the incorrect pronunciation is an accident (or ignorance)

Pieceofpurplesky · 22/05/2024 01:28

Jordy. Wasn't the footballer pronounced yordy?

Gruffallowhydidntyouknow · 22/05/2024 01:27

Spartak · 22/05/2024 00:54

Perhaps the professional just feels sorry for little Jalapeño and is trying to lessen the embarrassment for him?

I listened to a couple having a long discussion about Jal-a -peen-ohs in the shop recently.

HcbSS · 22/05/2024 00:55

Is your son bothered? If so, let him correct this person and if not, let it go.

Spartak · 22/05/2024 00:54

Perhaps the professional just feels sorry for little Jalapeño and is trying to lessen the embarrassment for him?

petermaddog · 22/05/2024 00:47

jaime

//

Peonii · 22/05/2024 00:38

My DH pronounces the suffix "bar" in "Akbar" (eg. Allahu Akbar) as "bal". It isn't a speech impediment and sometimes it really irritates me as I feel like he's heard it said correctly loads of times. The other day I asked him why he pronounces it like he does and it's because he genuinely hears as an L sound. Even when I said it, he said he hears me saying the L. Maybe this guy just hears it really differently?

Edit to add: I know two Sergeys. One prefer being called "SerJAY" and the other prefers being called "SerGAY". I am so rubbish but I always mix them up, despite them both being called their correctly pronounced names in front of me. It's so embarrassing to keep asking for the correct pronunciation too. I avoid saying their names in front of them now.

CheeseNPickle3 · 22/05/2024 00:33

Something like Jago and he's saying Yago? That would be a bit weird. Even if you were pronouncing it "wrong", your DS's name is his name and it's up to you how you say it.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 22/05/2024 00:31

Jacob. He's saying Ya cob? This happens with colleagues son. Correct him every time.

HotChocolateNotCocoa · 22/05/2024 00:09

To be fair I have not corrected this person

Then YABU. Why, if he thinks he’s getting it right, would he be listening avidly to how you pronounce it?

All you had to do the first time he did it was say “Actually it’s Jo-say, not Ho-say” (or whatever). Now you’ve just made it awkward to correct him. But you still should.

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 21/05/2024 23:26

If this person is helping you / your family with their professional expertise then surely that's the most important thing? I honestly couldn't find the energy to get wound up over something so small.

My DD has been through 4 years of serious mental health issues and has dealt with so many psychiatrists and doctors in this period.

If they are helping her, or even attempting to then that's the only important thing. She also has a name that's often mispronounced but that's honestly not even on my radar.

positivevibesonlyx · 21/05/2024 23:19

There's few Polish names which the J is pronounced as a Y, like Jan and Jakob.

imnottoofussed · 21/05/2024 22:31

I'm pretty sure you pronounce Jago as Yaygo in Spanish maybe she means something like this?

LaMarschallin · 21/05/2024 22:18

CoalTit · 21/05/2024 22:09

...it’s a name starting with J that can be pronounced is a Spanish way with a ‘ya’ sound ... don’t want to post the name as it is super super uncommon ...
I think that he just thinks we are wrong and he’s trying to correct us.

You gave your son a yoonique name and are annoyed that someone is pronouncing it differently from your way?
You think that Spanish speakers pronounce J as Y in Spanish?
I am judging you so hard, OP.

Sooo...
His name's pronounced "Joonique"?

SallyWD · 21/05/2024 22:14

CoalTit · 21/05/2024 22:09

...it’s a name starting with J that can be pronounced is a Spanish way with a ‘ya’ sound ... don’t want to post the name as it is super super uncommon ...
I think that he just thinks we are wrong and he’s trying to correct us.

You gave your son a yoonique name and are annoyed that someone is pronouncing it differently from your way?
You think that Spanish speakers pronounce J as Y in Spanish?
I am judging you so hard, OP.

There was another post yesterday with someone saying the Spanish pronounce J as Y. I'm starting to get annoyed.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 21/05/2024 22:12

CoalTit · 21/05/2024 22:09

...it’s a name starting with J that can be pronounced is a Spanish way with a ‘ya’ sound ... don’t want to post the name as it is super super uncommon ...
I think that he just thinks we are wrong and he’s trying to correct us.

You gave your son a yoonique name and are annoyed that someone is pronouncing it differently from your way?
You think that Spanish speakers pronounce J as Y in Spanish?
I am judging you so hard, OP.

Poor little Jo-er-kim.

Swipe left for the next trending thread