To push past in this situation

SpringKitten · 2024-05-21T12:55:14+00:00

If someone you knew at work was provoking you (the topic was insisting that you had to announce your pronouns and then tapping repeatedly the back of your chair to annoy you when you refused) and then later in the day that person decided to escalate the argument and also blocked the doorway to the toilets, refusing to move when you asked them to please let you past, would you be unreasonable to shove past them into the loo? In a situation where there is no other female loo available and both of you are women.

Original poster

SpringKitten · 21/05/2024 18:39

My god ladies, if a MAN shoved past ME trying to get into a ladies loo, I would be absolutely apoplectic and there would be no AIBU thread required.

I hope that day never comes.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 21/05/2024 17:36

SpringKitten · 21/05/2024 17:26

Yes indisputably both women, born women and both have kids. No penises involved, although arguably one or two dicks (yes I count myself there, it was clearly wrong to shove past but ffs some people are irritating).

Thanks for coming back and clarifying that both of you are biological women and this is about workplace behaviour, not about self ID.

drusth · 21/05/2024 17:28

SpringKitten · 21/05/2024 17:26

Yes indisputably both women, born women and both have kids. No penises involved, although arguably one or two dicks (yes I count myself there, it was clearly wrong to shove past but ffs some people are irritating).

It's not wrong to shove past someone blocking your way to the toilets. At the risk of sounding PC, going to the toilet is a basic right that she tried to prevent.

Original poster

SpringKitten · 21/05/2024 17:26

Yes indisputably both women, born women and both have kids. No penises involved, although arguably one or two dicks (yes I count myself there, it was clearly wrong to shove past but ffs some people are irritating).

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 21/05/2024 17:24

FOJN · 21/05/2024 16:46

Yes but some women have a penis. Keir Starmer has the stats. To say otherwise would be bigoted.

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There isn't any indication in the OP that this issue is about someone self ID ing.

FOJN · 21/05/2024 16:46

ilovesooty · 21/05/2024 16:42

She said they're both women. It's in the OP.

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Yes but some women have a penis. Keir Starmer has the stats. To say otherwise would be bigoted.

ilovesooty · 21/05/2024 16:42

ashitghost · 21/05/2024 15:07

Do you have a penis?

She said they're both women. It's in the OP.

drusth · 21/05/2024 16:09

BedDepartment · 21/05/2024 15:19

My workplace is very clear on precisely why I will not ever be announcing my pronouns in my email signature. In this situation, I would involved my HoD and union rep, both of whom are likeably terrifying and on the side of right and biology.

My workplace is very clear on precisely why I will not ever be announcing my pronouns in my email signature.

This doesn't make any sense. How is your workplace clear on why you don't do it?

infactyourquiteunique · 21/05/2024 16:06

I'd go to hr or line manager and say your are being threatened /bullied by a staff member then explain what they did

LieutOliviaBenson · 21/05/2024 15:30

Stompythedinosaur · 21/05/2024 15:05

I wouldn't have pushed past, but I would have immediately found a manager to speak to and escalate a grievance.

I don't agree with you re not giving pronouns, but colleagues aren't allowed to hit your chair or block your path.

Why? Are we compelled to give our pronouns in the workplace now? How does that work exactly?

BedDepartment · 21/05/2024 15:19

My workplace is very clear on precisely why I will not ever be announcing my pronouns in my email signature. In this situation, I would involved my HoD and union rep, both of whom are likeably terrifying and on the side of right and biology.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/05/2024 15:16

theeyeofdoe · 21/05/2024 15:10

Because it gives credence to the ridiculous notion that you can change from being female to male (or vice versa).

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That was OP's position as far as I can tell.

Not answering questions though, for some reason...

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 21/05/2024 15:12

I would get my phone out so bloody fast and film them blocking my way.

ASighMadeOfStone · 21/05/2024 15:10

Irrespective of which of the two if you doesn't think biological sex is a thing, the harassment should be reported.

theeyeofdoe · 21/05/2024 15:10

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/05/2024 15:08

I don't agree with you re not giving pronouns

Why?

Because it gives credence to the ridiculous notion that you can change from being female to male (or vice versa).

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/05/2024 15:08

I don't agree with you re not giving pronouns

Why?

ashitghost · 21/05/2024 15:07

Do you have a penis?

determinedtomakethiswork · 21/05/2024 15:06

Because if I was at work and someone identified as female and wanted to use the bathrooms I would maybe complain but I wouldn't block their way. I wouldn't block anybody's way unless I thought they were a danger to someone.

Stompythedinosaur · 21/05/2024 15:05

I wouldn't have pushed past, but I would have immediately found a manager to speak to and escalate a grievance.

I don't agree with you re not giving pronouns, but colleagues aren't allowed to hit your chair or block your path.

determinedtomakethiswork · 21/05/2024 15:05

What the hell is going on? Is the sex of you both female?

FOJN · 21/05/2024 15:04

No matter how annoying and unacceptable your colleagues behaviour is you would be in the wrong to make physical contact with her in an aggressive way.

You need to escalate to management or HR.

BobbyBiscuits · 21/05/2024 15:01

I wouldn't shove or push anyone as it could be construed as assault.
This sounds deeply bizarre though. Do you share a line manager? I'd speak to them about the situation as it sounds intimidating and unprofessional.
There needs to be something done if things are escalating to people blocking doors and shoving eachother.

studioussquirrel · 21/05/2024 14:58

It wouldn't be unreasonable but I wouldn't do it because you could hurt her.

I would speak to management immediately, telling them you were prevented from using the loo.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/05/2024 14:57

I'm not touching this one with someone else's bargepole.

Pootles34 · 21/05/2024 14:49

If they were physically blocking my way, I'd probably get manager/security? I wouldn't want to be pushing anyone at work for fear of it coming back on me tbh.