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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To book international work trips having just found out pregnant?

61 replies

Lndn93 · 21/05/2024 11:58

I’ve recently tested positive (4 and a half weeks; planned although first try, so slightly earlier than expected!) The dilemma is that I have just been asked to go on two trips to the US this summer and need to decide today/tomorrow if I can do the first one. I tried to avoid it, but no-one else in the team can go in my place.

I really would like to go – these are trips that I enjoy and are relatively stress free. The dilemma is working out if the timing suits and if I should disclose. The first trip is a long flight (11 hours), 7 nights long with short, domestic flight in the middle, and I would need to fly out from the UK the day after I reach the 12 weeks pregnant mark.

I’ve already been scheduled for my 12 week scan, which is exactly 12 weeks (aka the day before I would fly). Is this too close to my departure? What if I was to receive bad news? However, I am hoping to bring my DH on this trip, so I would be well supported. As far as I can tell, my company’s travel insurance policy would cover any medical emergencies (but I would check this for sure).

The second trip is less of a concern (I think). I would be 18 weeks and it is a shorter flight / around 4 nights duration.

I am fit, healthy, early 30s. I am planning to pay for a private early scan at 8 weeks for reassurance.

I am aware that there is still a relatively high chance of miscarriage, so I guess there is also a chance that I may not be pregnant by the time these trips come around. What would you do? Would you disclose to line manager? It still feels very early days and I ordinarily would not want to share until closer to 12 weeks, but perhaps it is the best thing to do in this case.

It is first pregnancy for me and I don’t know if I am being a bit naïve. I am going to ring the hospital team who have sent me booking details, but any thoughts on here would be very welcome

OP posts:
Lndn93 · 21/05/2024 12:20

Thanks everyone - super reassuring but also good things to think about 🙂

OP posts:
GerbilsForever24 · 21/05/2024 12:13

I would absolutely go. And in the terrible, and mostly unlikely, event that you do get bad news and/or have to cancel.... that's not your fault. It is not your obligation to not book anything in CASE something goes wrong. That's like saying, "oh no, I can't go on that fun day out water skiing the day before a trip in case i hurt myself". Right now, you have no reason to believe you will not be able to do the trip, you want to do the trip and, professionally, the trip is appropriate. Go ahead and book it.

Do check your/your firm's travel insurance for your own peace of mind.

Pupsandturtles · 21/05/2024 12:11

I think you’ll be fine. But where are you going in the US? I would check the state’s laws around prenatal care- as I’m sure you know, the new abortion rules have had knock on effects for women experiencing miscarriage. I wouldn’t want to be pregnant in any of these states.

Pickled21 · 21/05/2024 12:10

I don't think you are being naiive but rather overthinking it. You are in good health and there is no reason why at 12 weeks you wouldn't be able to fly. You might experience morning sickness but that can be manged unless it is HG which is a whole different ball game. You might find yourself a bit more tired than usual but then once you are done with work for the day take the time to get an early night. In pregnancy you simply can't plan for everything because it can be unpredictable. For now assuming you have a low risk pregnancy I would plan to go. If things change then your plans change.

Cinai · 21/05/2024 12:09

Sounds fine to me. Up until 20 weeks, I wouldn’t worry (and if there are no complications, you’ll be fine to fly up until 28 weeks or later in some cases). Even if your 12-week scan shows that further tests are required, you can still do this once you’re back. It will take a few days anyway to get results. Congrats and enjoy the trips!

WhereIsMyLight · 21/05/2024 12:09

It depends a bit on your line manager and the culture. I told my line manager about 5 weeks because I was due to go a site visit but I didn’t want to risk throwing up on site and in front of colleagues who I didn’t want to disclose to at that point. I had to basically get my manager’s approval to not do my job on that day (there were health and safety considerations to me throwing up on site to consider too). I then had to tell my head of department about 7 weeks as an important presentation had been scheduled for my scan date. My scan was in the morning and the presentation in the afternoon so I could make both but it would be tight and I needed to let her know that I might be late if the hospital was running late or if I’d got bad news, might not be in a position to do this very important presentation.

BlackThumb · 21/05/2024 12:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

YouveGotAFastCar · 21/05/2024 12:04

You’ll be absolutely fine. Book the trips.

Uncooperativefingers · 21/05/2024 12:03

Personally, I'd just book on the trips and go. Particularly as your partner is going and they're relatively low stress

hg167 · 21/05/2024 12:03

I wouldn’t want to let a line manager know at this point either - if I were you, I’d agree in the meantime for the first trip, then if you’re comfortable tell your line manager after your 8-week scan (this is exactly what I did at work)

This way, you can discuss any relevant information needed at the time and if anything does go wrong (fingers crossed it doesn’t) you can hopefully discuss this and be supported by them.

Congratulations btw ❤️

Moveoverdarlin · 21/05/2024 12:01

I think you’ll be fine to do both trips. Especially if your DH is going. Before 20 weeks, apart from tiredness I was relatively symptom free, but obviously some people do suffer from sickness.

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