Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To book international work trips having just found out pregnant?

61 replies

Lndn93 · 21/05/2024 11:58

I’ve recently tested positive (4 and a half weeks; planned although first try, so slightly earlier than expected!) The dilemma is that I have just been asked to go on two trips to the US this summer and need to decide today/tomorrow if I can do the first one. I tried to avoid it, but no-one else in the team can go in my place.

I really would like to go – these are trips that I enjoy and are relatively stress free. The dilemma is working out if the timing suits and if I should disclose. The first trip is a long flight (11 hours), 7 nights long with short, domestic flight in the middle, and I would need to fly out from the UK the day after I reach the 12 weeks pregnant mark.

I’ve already been scheduled for my 12 week scan, which is exactly 12 weeks (aka the day before I would fly). Is this too close to my departure? What if I was to receive bad news? However, I am hoping to bring my DH on this trip, so I would be well supported. As far as I can tell, my company’s travel insurance policy would cover any medical emergencies (but I would check this for sure).

The second trip is less of a concern (I think). I would be 18 weeks and it is a shorter flight / around 4 nights duration.

I am fit, healthy, early 30s. I am planning to pay for a private early scan at 8 weeks for reassurance.

I am aware that there is still a relatively high chance of miscarriage, so I guess there is also a chance that I may not be pregnant by the time these trips come around. What would you do? Would you disclose to line manager? It still feels very early days and I ordinarily would not want to share until closer to 12 weeks, but perhaps it is the best thing to do in this case.

It is first pregnancy for me and I don’t know if I am being a bit naïve. I am going to ring the hospital team who have sent me booking details, but any thoughts on here would be very welcome

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Flossyts · 26/05/2024 07:13

I don’t think there would be any problem in booking the trip. I would let my line manager know though. I understand not telling most ppl u til you are further along in case something goes wrong. However, you'd want to tell your manager if it doesn’t work out as you wouldn’t want to be at work.

Overnightoats1 · 26/05/2024 06:50

I did long and short haul trips for work in all of my pregnancies.. my doctor just advised on low dose aspirin a couple of days before I flew, 2 days there and then a couple of days before I travelled home and a couple of days at home just to prevent dvt She also advised that I wear flight socks on the long hauls.. I took her advice and has no complications on any of the trips x

ARR84 · 25/05/2024 22:28

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

She didn't die at birth because of a genetic condition so give it a test and develop some empathy!

As you say, you're "detailing the thread" so perhaps move on and say no more! My initial points were relevant to the OP and your comments to me were unkind and unnecessary.

Tbh, you clearly don't have any knowledge of the relevant conditions tested for and the implications with each and, in any case, it is a theoretic risk, not an actual risk.

Maternityleavelady · 25/05/2024 22:08

I went on a work trip to Tanzania when 7 weeks pregnant. It was booked before I found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t ready to tell my boss so I confided in the Travel Officer at work who confidentially notified the travel insurance company of my condition and ensured I had an appointment with a travel clinic to discuss malaria prevention and risks in pregnancy. She also gave me the option to cancel if I wanted to.i continued travelling with work up until I was 32 weeks (although the last long haul flight was hard work in economy as my back was img me by then!)

pollymere · 25/05/2024 20:32

I flew to the US at about ten weeks. Just wear circulation socks or supports and try to move as much as possible.

sunnydayhereandnow · 25/05/2024 19:39

I was much older with an IVF pregnancy and still travelled to Bangkok and Germany for work at a similar stage to what you’re describing. I felt fine, only issue was feeling a bit of a blob on the Bangkok trip as I was taking a lot of progesterone after the IVF. I was actually glad to do the trips for a last kid-free travel experience (little did I know Corona was coming up so it was also the last opportunity to travel for a while). I’d say do it: USA work trips will become much more complicated when you have kids.

OldPerson · 25/05/2024 19:30

Congratulations!

I think you're so excited that you've forgotten you'll be speaking to a doctor at your private 8 week scan who can advise you.

Do what you need to do for work. Especially in the first 12 weeks or until you decide to publically disclose you're pregnant at work and to HR. You think you're normally fit and healthy and not in any risk category.

And then go by the advice of your GP.

WomanMumLoverDaughterStepmumFriend · 25/05/2024 19:01

I don’t see why not ? I traveled with all my pregnancies apart from the one where I had hypemensis gravidarium as I was too poorly .
unless on extreme cases pregnancy is not a illness so your work should not really be to affected

BlackThumb · 24/05/2024 22:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

1HappyTraveller · 24/05/2024 21:22

stichguru · 24/05/2024 20:49

I hadn't thought that she could check the insurance without disclosing. I guess the other thing is whether there is anything in pregnancy employment law that means the company might get into trouble for doing something that caused risk to an employee's unborn child. I guess though even those laws would have a get out clause if you didn't know the employee is pregnant. A bit like most areas of the Equality Act say that you aren't discriminating against a disabled individual if they aren't obviously disabled and haven't disclosed their disability.

Anyone is well within their rights to ask about a policy. Whether they give it or not is another matter. But why wouldn’t they? You should also take a copy of the policy and emergency contact details with you so you know what to do in an emergency. Why anyone would not do this I don’t know.

Regarding travel insurance - everything should always be declared to an insurance company for travel anyways to ensure appropriate cover. Even if not pregnant. Chances are if you have asthma or high blood pressure (BP) or anything else for which you take medication for, and haven’t declared it to the insurance company then they can refuse to pay out of you become ill abroad with a chest infection or a unwell due to uncontrolled high BP for example a stroke. Epilepsy, allergies, rheumatological disorders, the list goes on. If you had a recent chest infection and didn’t declare it but then went on holiday and developed another they could also refuse to not cover. Similarly for urinary tract infections or any other infection that matter. Many insurance policies will not cover you for anything related to outstanding tests or appointments - think you have an allergy to something (I.e. nuts, shellfish, egg) and are waiting to see a specialist without a formal diagnosis, regardless of how mild or severe it may be… no point booking that trip because if you’re ill whilst you’re away they can refuse to pay out. So there’s lots of reasons why people may need to see a company travel insurance policy and shouldn’t have to declare why. I honestly wouldn’t travel on any insurance policy without seeing the wording myself. It’d be foolish to do so given the potential cost of medical bills and repatriation. Would much rather just pay for my own. It isn’t even that expensive. You can get world-wide multi-trip for less than £100. Why would anyone leave that responsibility to someone in their company and expect it to be an appropriate level of cover for them personally I don’t know 🤷‍♀️.

The OP said it would be a non-stressful trip. I’m sure she can do her own risk assessment of the situation. I mean if she food testing, dealing with pharmaceuticals or was expected to do high-risk stunts for a movie in the states then that’s a different story entirely. But I doubt that’s the case here given what has already been said.

stichguru · 24/05/2024 20:49

1HappyTraveller · 24/05/2024 11:44

What rubbish and overly-dramatic advice!

No she doesn’t need to disclose anything to her managers! Morally or legally. And yes she can also go on the trip if she wishes.

The sensible thing for anyone going travelling under a company insurance policy should be to request a copy of the policy from their team to make sure that it meets their own needs. Pregnant or not. Because your company won’t be bailing you out abroad if it doesn’t.

If on reading the policy the OP is worried about inadequate cover then she can get her own travel insurance. Many policies cover pregnant women as standard provided normal non-high risk pregnancy.

I hadn't thought that she could check the insurance without disclosing. I guess the other thing is whether there is anything in pregnancy employment law that means the company might get into trouble for doing something that caused risk to an employee's unborn child. I guess though even those laws would have a get out clause if you didn't know the employee is pregnant. A bit like most areas of the Equality Act say that you aren't discriminating against a disabled individual if they aren't obviously disabled and haven't disclosed their disability.

DontKnow1988 · 24/05/2024 20:45

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

@BlackThumb when deciding to test, you also have to decide what you will do about it. If it's a good result, fine, you can rest assured that your baby doesn't have one of the few genetic disorders they test for.

What if it's ambiguous or bad news? And the tests have a statistical component, it's not 100% accurate. Many women would choose not to terminate or to undergo further investigations anyway.

Gatecrashermum · 24/05/2024 17:25

Pupsandturtles · 21/05/2024 12:11

I think you’ll be fine. But where are you going in the US? I would check the state’s laws around prenatal care- as I’m sure you know, the new abortion rules have had knock on effects for women experiencing miscarriage. I wouldn’t want to be pregnant in any of these states.

As a pregnant woman, I agree with this

You may also want to check your employer's travel insurance covers pregnancy.

theeyeofdoe · 24/05/2024 17:12

The majority of people feel fine at 18 weeks and the majority feel shit at 12 weeks.

But who knows, you can't put your life on hold when you're pregnant.

I'd probably say yes, if you feel awful, you don't need to disclose that you knew you were pregnanct when you said yes.

VibeDancer · 24/05/2024 17:07

I was in a similar situation with my first, and was scheduled not go on a fairly hectic trip round the US with a fair few early morning flights and evening events at a similar time in my pregnancy.

I thought it would be absolutely fine, but my midwife recommended against it, and I'm very glad she did, because the morning sickness and tiredness hit me like a train at about 8 weeks, and I don't think I would have had a good time at all.

1HappyTraveller · 24/05/2024 17:00

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

The screening tests are optional. For some people they would not terminate a pregnancy regardless of the result in which case they may decline the test as it may not change the outcome. That is an individual choice and also perfectly valid. Everyone has their own reasons, just because the responders profession is that of a GP it does not mean that she has to have screening tests if she doesn’t want them. I’m sure she’s pretty clued up on the implications for herself and her own family.

ARR84 · 24/05/2024 15:59

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Im a GP and I didn't get genetic tests as I would have kept the baby regardless but my daughter didn't die of a serious genetic condition. She died because I went into spontaneous labour due to a cervical problem and at 20 weeks they won't resuscitate.

Perhaps consider your vicious, insensitive responses to someone when you don't know the facts. I hope your baby never dies in your arms.

Superscientist · 24/05/2024 15:38

At 12 weeks I was struggling with fatigue and sickness.
It generally kicked in about an hour after I woke up which was enough for me to get into work but then find myself too sick to dare getting back on the train home so spent a lot of the first 4 months of pregnancy in the toilets at work or at my desk trying not to be sick and not look like death even with anti sickness tablets. Around 4pm the sickness would start to subside and I could then manage to get back on the train home. Then the government kindly sent everyone home and the sickness through my 3rd trimester was so much easier to manage because I was in my own space

Due to my job I had to inform my line manager the day after the positive test. It was just before Christmas and I'm glad we had already had the chat as I had the first week of January off with pregnancy sickness

Kateeeeuyyy · 24/05/2024 15:25

I personally wouldn’t. My first pregnancy , I went on a long haul to Hong Kong and experienced some spotting at the end of my trip. Luckily, we were coming home soon, but I arrived back to find I’d miscarried. If it had happened at the beginning of the trip, I don’t know what I’d have done.

when I was pregnant with my son, I felt fine for the first few weeks, then suffered with HG until the day i gave birth. I had to have fluids and routine docs appts because of the severity of the sickness . I couldn’t imagine doing a work trip in the throes of morning sickness!

i think OP is right to be unsure, because she has no idea how her pregnancy is going to progress. I personally didn’t sign up for anything extra at work the second time I fell pregnant because I felt it would be more disruptive for my team should I have to back out.

that being said, it’s the last time to travel before you have a baby, so it is an appealing prospect . A tough one OP, but only you can decide .

BlackThumb · 24/05/2024 15:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

hydriotaphia · 24/05/2024 14:03

Where in the US? I would check abortion laws - if the worst should happen and you have a serious problem while there you would want to be assured that you will be able to access proper medical care. You will also need to check your health insurance policy. Other than that I think it should be fine.

Simone86 · 24/05/2024 13:59

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Agree with this - though I would always get a private NIPT at ten weeks to eliminate the waiting! Could that be an option for you OP?

WingingIt101 · 24/05/2024 13:32

Op I did this with my first pregnancy. Early thirties. Some mild health conditions which ultimately didn't affect pregnancy.

I went to Texas to recce venues at 8 weeks, and Tokyo to run a 4 day conference at 18 week. Both were absolutely fine. My right hand man was a guy I had known for years so I told him in strict confidence in case I was unwell or needed help. Plus I knew he would question why I was refusing alcohol!
I liked knowing there was someone there who could help if needed and I can tell my dd I first felt her move in Tokyo!

Ceramic272 · 24/05/2024 13:22

It really depends though. I had no morning sickness at all and I have other friends who were similar. My doctor said 20-30% don’t get sickness, so more than one might think. I don’t think OP should turn down a good work opportunity just on an “if”, especially so early on (when unfortunately there are many other risks too). If she does unluckily get HG/feels awful presumably she can cancel closer to the time.

pimlicopubber · 24/05/2024 12:17

I'm surprised to see all the reactions saying "there's no reason not to go" at 12 weeks.
I personally had HG, so was on the extreme side (I threw up 10+ times a day and couldn't even leave house as any change of smell or movement triggered another episode), but 12 weeks is still the morning sickness stage? Many of my friends who had smooth pregnancies still reported feeling extremely tired in the first trimester.
The flight at 20 weeks is a lot more likely to be smooth.