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To expect rest of family to chip in for our room upgrade?

164 replies

RedJamBiscuits · 21/05/2024 11:25

We are going away for a family holiday (myself who is heavily pregnant, DH, DD 13, DS 1) with my DH’s family (in one room MIL & FIL, in another room BIL, SIL, 2 nieces both 5 and nephew 12, and us in our own room). MIL sorted the booking out with her TA friend, and assured us we all had appropriate rooms. She said her TA knew we needed a one bedroom apt with a sofa bed in the living room, seeing as we have an infant and a teen - both who are obviously on wildly different sleeping patterns, and baby still gets up during night as well as getting up at 6 on the dot every AM. And of course baby goes to sleep much earlier than all of us in general, so want to make sure we don’t disturb him while we are sat on our balcony at night too.

DH agreed to just split the cost of the holiday in three, even though tbh I didn’t feel that was very fair considering we only have one child to pay for and BIL has 3. Either way, it was agreed to and done.

Fast forward to now and I was doing my own digging in to the holiday and what it is going to be like as I like to be prepared. I have never let anyone book a holiday for us before and I’m the kind of weirdo who takes a folder so I know everything is correct and booked and in control 🤣 I realised that what Jet2 call a standard room is actually a STUDIO. We have 1 door in to the room, a double bed next to a single bed, a bit of room next to that for a cot, and then a door out to the balcony. That’s it. I freak out to DH because we’ve paid thousands of pounds for a studio for a week when there are four of us, while BIL has a 2 bedroom, 2 floor apartment with a separate living room and a terrace/garden. Bear in mind again that we split the cost evenly. I wasn’t looking for a big luxurious apartment but didn’t think for a second we’d have a room that actually costs over £1200 less to book up front.

Phoned travel agents straight away and someone confirmed we were indeed in a studio, not a 1 bed apartment, and that she didn’t personally feel it was suitable for us as a family either. Priced me £200 roughly to upgrade to a 1 bedroom. Annoying but just happy problem can be fixed and for a semi reasonable price! Though…booking was mis sold in the first place, but I can’t be bothered getting into those politics now. Got in touch with MIL as she is lead booker so needs to message them to give person for me to change the room. She says this TA is wrong and her friend definitely booked us a 1 bed apartment as a studio isn’t suitable for us as a family. Long story short, her friend has now confirmed today that we are in a studio. I’ve not had an apology or a Oopsy or anything, now just backpedaling and excuses on why we don’t need a 1 bed (????). MIL and FIL are two adults and are literally booked into the same room type as us.

ANYWAY, husband is now also very unhappy with the situation. He is adamant that because we agreed to split the cost (thinking we were receiving something fair on our end) that rest of family should now cover the cost of our upgrade. I agree. Everybody thinks WE are being unreasonable. Are we being stupid here??? Are we the unreasonable ones, taking everything into account?

OP posts:
Gazelda · 21/05/2024 14:07

I get your point @spannered.

However, while OP must have realised she'd be subsidising BIL, she wasn't (at the time) aware of the disparity in accommodation, nor that hers was completely unsuitable.

Also, the BIL must have equally been aware that his holiday was being heavily subsidised.

A very awkward situation and no one is going to come out of this totally happy. It's a shame that the travel agent wasn't clear before the booking was confirmed and paid for.

spannered · 21/05/2024 13:51

Gazelda · 21/05/2024 13:25

Send a message to the WhatsApp group.

Look, this is awkward. But we've realised that the room we've been allocated is unsuitable. The small studio will mean a miserable holiday for us all. And it seems that splitting the cost 3 ways has resulted in us spending £1200 more than the inadequate accommodation costs.

I'm going to call the hotel direct to upgrade.

I'll then work with MIL to recalculate the costs so that each family pays for what they've booked. Seems fairest, I'm sure you'll agree.

Sorry but you can't just unilaterally decide to split things differently after the holiday has already been booked & paid for! When they agreed to the three way split they must have realised that to some extent they might be subsidising others. Totally unreasonable to expect BIL to find the additional cost to stump up last minute despite previously agreeing.

PennyPugwash · 21/05/2024 13:50

Gazelda · 21/05/2024 13:25

Send a message to the WhatsApp group.

Look, this is awkward. But we've realised that the room we've been allocated is unsuitable. The small studio will mean a miserable holiday for us all. And it seems that splitting the cost 3 ways has resulted in us spending £1200 more than the inadequate accommodation costs.

I'm going to call the hotel direct to upgrade.

I'll then work with MIL to recalculate the costs so that each family pays for what they've booked. Seems fairest, I'm sure you'll agree.

This is perfect!

spannered · 21/05/2024 13:46

Given there was a mistake in booking your accommodation and it isn't fit for purpose, the £200 upgrade is necessary to put you in the position you should have been in initially.

If it was us, we'd probably just pay up. But in accordance with how the rest of the holiday was booked, it would be fair for it to be split three ways between you, and the other two sets of adults.

I'm not sure why you think your MIL & FIL should pay half towards an upgrade that doesn't affect them in any way, when they've already paid a third towards the holiday! I'd be asking for a third max, because they would have paid towards it had it been booked correctly the first time!

friendlycat · 21/05/2024 13:36

RedJamBiscuits · 21/05/2024 13:07

Yes, though I believe it won’t just be room price it’ll be because there are 5 full paying people on the room, whereas there are 3 of us (infant goes free) x

It’s all gone tits up reading this. BIL is paying a three way split for 5 full paying people for flights and accommodation. You are paying the same amount for 3 full payers and were incorrectly given a studio room whilst BIL has a 2 bed apartment. Then MIL paying the same for 2 full payers with studio accommodation, accepting they may be happy subsidising others.

Surely you need to upgrade to the 2 bedrooms and have a family meeting to explain the travel agent messed up the booking hence the original split was wrong and needs changing with the correct accommodation being booked.

Even then BIL would be benefiting more still with the revised 3 way split as he should be looking at a higher charge due to x 5 full paying people that includes the flights and accommodation.

PinkiOcelot · 21/05/2024 13:34

I would be seething all holiday. It would totally spoil it for me. You BIL is laughing his socks off!

Tdcp · 21/05/2024 13:30

This is absolutely nuts. You've paid £1200 extra so BIL can have a fancy room and you have a studio with a baby and a teenager?! I would at the least be insisting that we all pay what we've booked and get yourself an upgrade to a 2 bedroom asap. A 1 bed with a baby and a teen is also very unsuitable.

Doteycat · 21/05/2024 13:30

Codlingmoths · 21/05/2024 13:28

Ok, wouldn’t work for your dd. Me, my 6 siblings, 20 cousins, my 2 dc who aren’t babies, and their 15 cousins would all love it, so there is clearly a chance the ops teen would also like it. Also clearly nobody is weaponising a child here.

Oh youve asked them all have you?
Rediculous statement.
You are the one who rediculed the poster for saying it wldnt suit their teen.

Codlingmoths · 21/05/2024 13:28

Doteycat · 21/05/2024 13:24

Absolute nightmare for my dd at that age. No way would she agree to it and i wouldnt have asked her to.

Ok, wouldn’t work for your dd. Me, my 6 siblings, 20 cousins, my 2 dc who aren’t babies, and their 15 cousins would all love it, so there is clearly a chance the ops teen would also like it. Also clearly nobody is weaponising a child here.

YouveGotAFastCar · 21/05/2024 13:28

Gazelda · 21/05/2024 13:25

Send a message to the WhatsApp group.

Look, this is awkward. But we've realised that the room we've been allocated is unsuitable. The small studio will mean a miserable holiday for us all. And it seems that splitting the cost 3 ways has resulted in us spending £1200 more than the inadequate accommodation costs.

I'm going to call the hotel direct to upgrade.

I'll then work with MIL to recalculate the costs so that each family pays for what they've booked. Seems fairest, I'm sure you'll agree.

This.

And then once this is sorted, have the chat about what happens on holiday. Are you all paying for yourself? Splitting costs evenly? Eating separately? Who chooses where you eat? What time? Your kids are likely to need feeding earlier than teens and adults usually would...

This sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Doteycat · 21/05/2024 13:27

SilkFloss · 21/05/2024 13:27

What @Gazelda said. Well-phrased WA message.

Agreed.

SilkFloss · 21/05/2024 13:27

What @Gazelda said. Well-phrased WA message.

MaggieFS · 21/05/2024 13:25

MAKE SURE YOU SORT OUT HOW YOUR GOING TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING WHILST YOU'RE AWAY, BEFORE YOU GO!!

Otherwise BIL might be expecting all meals and everything else to be split in thirds too 😂😂😂

Gazelda · 21/05/2024 13:25

Send a message to the WhatsApp group.

Look, this is awkward. But we've realised that the room we've been allocated is unsuitable. The small studio will mean a miserable holiday for us all. And it seems that splitting the cost 3 ways has resulted in us spending £1200 more than the inadequate accommodation costs.

I'm going to call the hotel direct to upgrade.

I'll then work with MIL to recalculate the costs so that each family pays for what they've booked. Seems fairest, I'm sure you'll agree.

Doteycat · 21/05/2024 13:24

Codlingmoths · 21/05/2024 13:20

Are you kidding? For us growing up, for our kids and all their cousins I know well, this would be a massive treat!! Not for the parents though 😁

Absolute nightmare for my dd at that age. No way would she agree to it and i wouldnt have asked her to.

Doteycat · 21/05/2024 13:23

Nope.
Bil should pay for your upgrade.
And then swop so you have the 2 bed.
Anything else and id cancel the holiday.

Quitelikeit · 21/05/2024 13:23

Gosh so it is really only BiL who has benefitted from this three way split?!

He should cover your upgrade!

Is the eldest child your DHs? Or only the baby?

Im not sure how you can say your in-laws paid for you if you split the cost 3 ways

Codlingmoths · 21/05/2024 13:20

JJathome · 21/05/2024 13:04

A masterclass on how to weaponise your own kid. She’s a 13 year old girl, highly likely she doesn’t wish to sleep with her cousins, I expect it’s difficult enough for her with a new sibling and another on the way.

Are you kidding? For us growing up, for our kids and all their cousins I know well, this would be a massive treat!! Not for the parents though 😁

Bumblebeeinatree · 21/05/2024 13:19

Book yourselves a two bed and everyone should pay for their own accommodation. How could anyone think this was fair. MIL drew the shortest straw, BIL won by a lot and you are paying a lot for something that isn't even suitable.

SharedAccountWithMySister · 21/05/2024 13:16

So you’ve paid a third of BILs 2 bed and he doesn’t want to pay a third of your 1 bed?

AllotmentTime · 21/05/2024 13:15

Reply back and say yes okay we realise it isn't fair to ask you guys to pay for our upgrade. It's better if we all pay for our own rooms, so let's reallocate so that everyone is paying for their own rooms. Then we can upgrade without asking you guys to pay for us.

.... then once they've agreed, BIL will owe you ££££ which you can easily use to upgrade!!

YorkNew · 21/05/2024 13:09

How much have you paid and how much is the stdio, one bedroom and two bedroom
apartment for your family?

RedJamBiscuits · 21/05/2024 13:07

Yes, though I believe it won’t just be room price it’ll be because there are 5 full paying people on the room, whereas there are 3 of us (infant goes free) x

OP posts:
YorkNew · 21/05/2024 13:05

I’d switch to the two bedroom
apartment then add all three rooms, it’s probably similar price to what you’ve actually paid.

JJathome · 21/05/2024 13:04

Codlingmoths · 21/05/2024 12:51

Reply back: we will pay the upgrade to 1 bed apt, and teen can sleep in with his cousins.

A masterclass on how to weaponise your own kid. She’s a 13 year old girl, highly likely she doesn’t wish to sleep with her cousins, I expect it’s difficult enough for her with a new sibling and another on the way.