To expect rest of family to chip in for our room upgrade?

YANBU but why the hell did you agree to split the cost in 3 when your BIL's family are getting a much bigger space?

Glad DD is happy. You've still been ripped offf by BIL but I guess that's lesson learned.

Interested to know where you can get duplex apartments with AI for £900/person?

I would be saying if I was paying £200 more than anyone else then I would be having the two bedroom apartment. That way the teenager can sleep in, the baby can sleep in the parents room and whilst baby is sleeping early evening the parents can use the sitting room.

Think you need to stop calling it an ‘upgrade’ to start with. An upgrade insinuates you are getting something extra and not something necessary eg. Sea view.

I would phrase it that you’ve corrected the booking as it was incorrectly placed and therefore the total price has increased. You will still go 1/3s as agreed on the overall cost.

if they don’t agree to this pull out, even if you lose money. You’ll either argue or feel resentful the whole time you’re there

The moral of this story is don't let someone else book you a holiday if you like being in control, TA was always going to favour the members of the party he/she knows. TBH I would never have considered just splitting the cost up-each family group should pay for the accommodation they have, that will be clearly shown on the invoice-anything else is going to cause an unpleasant taste in the mouth. Whether the accommodation booked is suitable for each group is a whole other argument/conversation.
Holidays can be very expensive indeed, this could easily make everyone feel like they are being taken advantage of, a situation to be avoided at all costs.

You’re not being unreasonable and your bil should pay more. However, for the sake of 200 I’d probably let it go. For me it wouldn’t be worth the guaranteed agro. Chalk it up to experience and next time make your own booking

I mean. Everyone should’ve been paying their own room.

but how you have it, if BIL gets a two bedroom then it’s totally reasonable you get your upgrade covered. I’d say even a two bedroom.

I don't get it. You have 3 kids and BIL has 3 kids? Surely that's the same? Sounds like only people unfairly treated are the in-laws? Or have I misunderstood?

Sounds petty tbh - I bet your hubby wouldn't complain if you weren't fuelling him. Just pay for the upgrade and enjoy the holiday. I have learned the hard way you won't win over mil.

I think I’d be cancelling and booking my own holiday. I am another weird that has to book holidays myself to make sure it’s right. I also wouldn’t be paying a quarter of someone else’s holiday family or not.

😆 it’s the best part of mumsnet.
Am I Being Unreasonable

What does AIBU mean?

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don't go on holiday with family or friends

I'm sorry the Bil should pay more as hes more children and takes up more room so you know for next time when booking if you go as a family be with the person when booking the holiday then you can chose the room and just pay for that and nothing else someone is taking the piss. i never split anything i have my own bill separate its like meals out lets split the bill no thank you i paying for what i ate and nobody else's

Can you not just cancel OP and leave the rest of the family to it?

Personally, I would revoke my offer to split the costs and say we will just pay for our own and everyone else can do the same. You are subsidising the large duplex and have less than you requested. Either that or forfeit your deposit and don’t go. It’ll cost them a lot more than their share of the extra £200 you need to pay.

Retired senior travel executive here.

Do you have any proof that your mil definitely requested the 1 bedroomed apt. for your family because, if so, this is the agent's error and therefore the agent should be covering the cost of her mistake.

How experienced/qualified is this "Travel agent friend"? I am increasingly exasperated by these companies who are now taking on just anyone with no qualifications to, "Sell holidays".🙄 Dear God, how I often wished that was all there was to it. In my day you had to sit loads of exams, hold a knowledge of at least one other European language and work in an ABTA bonded travel agency for 2 years - during which time you had to be supervised with any action - to become qualified. The job itself was far more complicated than just selling holidays.🙄 Try repatriating clients stuck all over the globe due to an ash cloud just as one very small example. Believe me, outlandish/distressing things happen on a daily basis totally outside the agents' control but we need the expertise to sort it.

Sounds to me like this friend may be one of these new "Hobby" travel agents or she is extremely rubbish at her job.
Either that or MIL made the error and is now trying to deflect. However, back to my original point, if it was definitely the agent's mistake then they should be covering the cost. Contact the agent's HO if she is refusing to do so and it is definitely her error.

I'm guessing this will be the last time you let anyone book your holiday?

Mistake no.1 - You didn't do your research before agreeing to the holiday or the costs.

Come on. I'm exactly like you. Probably worse. I research everything down to the last detail, including taxi fares and train timetables and google maps. I'm so anal, we don't even do package holidays anymore - because I can find better accommodation at better prices, cheapest travel fares, and maybe because we have a solo last adult teenager, and I'm not paying double for a hotel room for her, however delightful she is. You'd be amazed at what options are out there.

Mistake no.2 - About to fall out with your husband's family.

At some point you were going along with the herd. You agreed to cough up money.

Some idiots think if you're somewhere sunny with a pool, all else can be overlooked with rose-coloured glasses. They're idiots.

Obviously BIL has firmly set down his standards. Because MIL has catered the whole holiday around his needs.

It's not entirely about the holiday. You're pregnant and no one has even considered your needs.

I would have planned the entire holiday around you being pregnant and looked into the insurance details and local hospitals.

But, you have three options.

1. Withdraw from the holiday and lose your deposit - or the cost of amending the booking. Being pregnant is your get out of jail free card.
2. Choose to independently pay for accommodation more suited to your needs and re-join the family - They'll never again propose anything that does not include your evaluation and sign off.
3. Fall out with everyone.

I'd put it all down to mum and dad wanting the whole family together, the umbrella of cost, the known gripes and standards from BIL and the fairy dust dream of everyone being happy together in the sunshine.

But if you are like me - I'd make sure every future family holiday is planned and booked by me.

Hint. I always tell people up front the pluses and negatives. I cater for the needs, hobbies and wants of every single person. If it's more than 7 days, I usually book two accommodations. Sometimes that's top-end luxury combined with low-cost self-catering and sometimes it's based on locations. But when people know part of the planning is around them, they're a lot more enthusiastic about all the planning around everyone else.

Your and husband's major gripe is probably no one considered the impact on you, being pregnant. It's almost like this next grandchild is unimportant.

I don’t understand why people don’t just pay for ye apartment they have. I don’t understand why costs are divided evenly when everyone needs/has something different. Obviously I can understand the “joint pot” for daily expenses and stuff but for pre-booked individually priced rooms, I don’t understand why each family isn’t just paying for themselves.

Of course you shouldn’t pay the extra but you also should never have split the costs evenly in the first place. Good luck

I would refuse to pay an admin fee when they booked the wrong room!

Seems ridiculous that you all agreed to split!! Even if you had the same room types, you have 3 peoples flights to pay for (assuming the 1YO is on lap) and they have 5 peoples flights

At this point I’d be asking for my money back and booking it myself after realising I’m paying for someone else’s holiday

This

I'd be telling your in-laws either they and Your SiL family share this additional cost or you are cancelling the holiday as this was not what you asked for or were told you'd get.