@Stressedgiraffe your AIBU options are confusing. I Suspect a lot of people will have selected the one they don't agree with so the poll won't have validity.
@MonsteraMama and @grinandslothit that's how I feel too truth be told.
I've been ostracised in work places for not wanting to go out and socialise with colleagues-it may be great for those who don't have friends/a life and sometimes there's a valid reason (such as having recently relocated for example) but most of us are busy enough with our own, established friends/families/children and activities outside of work. We don't deserve to be 'cast out' because we don't particularly want to become 'bezzie mates' with Matilda from accounts or get drunk on a Friday night with our 'team'-if I want to get drunk, I'd do it with people I know and trust and have things to talk about with.
Friendships cannot be forced. You might get talking to someone at one of these activities and become friendly rather than just colleagues but you could as easily do that at the water dispenser/getting a coffee after a 'real' meeting.
Yes to this *Im not fucking interested in the fucking animal Karen from accounts would be and why, neither do I care about the interesting unknown fact about Brian from IT.
Hideous.*
Agree with the PP who said you cannot be yourself at these events. You have to be your work self with maybe a slightly more relaxed (often fake) demeanor. Depending on who's in charge, the one who gets the most drunk/loud/aggressive is the one chosen for promotion because of their 'oh so fun' personality or it may be the one who naturally 'takes the lead'. I am much more likely to take the lead on a project or task I am familiar with and have new ideas on, in the office than I am at a kayaking event, because the latter makes me nervous and self-conscious. I signed up for the job, not the forced fun crap so it falsely represents people and their skills.
@Stressedgiraffe most of those things sound like a nightmare. I'd be up for the posh hotel but I'd much rather do it with people I choose to spend time with not some random colleagues-and if I drank more than two alcoholic drinks I'd be anxious as hell the next day about what I came across like!
I also completely agree with this It does the precise opposite of what it is meant to do. It encourages too much drinking and encourages inappropriate romances and affairs. It also discourages work/life balance and takes people away from their families. It also builds cliques of extroverts rather than teams, which should be inclusive. This is WHY they're wrong on so many levels.
I refused to do a role-playing exercise once. I just hate them, I am not particularly shy or stand offish or rude or anything else it may have made me look like. I just do not get paid enough to do things I utterly hate.
A dance class is my idea of hell, with colleagues although I have been to some alone and enjoyed them-the point is I had a choice!