To think nurseries are not safe for young babies

What a totally ridiculous thing to say

My daughter was and is still like this. She is very much a mummy's girl! Not sure it is your place to decide.

I don't put a hot drink down on the carpet and then not watch it which is what I saw one do.

Sounds like you're looking for a herd to join. And maybe blame.

You've worked as a nursery worker in a nursery.

People should be coming to you for advice. Not the other way around.

Your child. Your responsibility. Your choice.

What the freak are we supposed to advise, when as a former nursery worker, you don't have a clue? Or any advice.

That’s so beautiful to hear!

With all due respect, a child who skips off during their first settling in session as “happy as Larry” with a quick “Bye Mummy” doesn’t sound like they have a very secure attachment with their primary caregiver.

She's an only child so I can't say what's normal for that age, but yes, she was wanting to be around other children and, as I said, at baby groups I was having to constantly bring her back to "our space" because she wanted to approach other children. The first settling in session she was over the moon to get to join in group activities and when I dropped her off for her first full day, she skipped in happy as larry with a quick "Bye Mummy!"

that is 1 (utterly tragic) case. How many babies are killed by their parents each year?

That said I don’t think nursery is good for small babies. They need more attentive care than a 1-3 ratio can allow.

"She was desperate for more interaction with other children" - at 14 months?

Honestly, if you say so I'm not disbelieving you (not sarky) but this is genuinely very unusual. Children begin to accept, perhaps 'enjoy', parallel play around 2 (sidelong glances at child next to them at sandpit) but true interaction comes much later, and before that only interaction with an invested adult is really sought.

I worked in nurseries/preschool for years and there was a clearly observable pattern, Before 2.5/3, most children tolerate one another (after all, here is another annoying small being who wants the same toy you do, who might get the attention you're after). By 3 things begin to change so gradually another small being, the same age as you, will be able to offer you something, like helping you build a fort with bricks etc. By nearly four, many children (not all!) will run into nursery seeking the friend they were playing with yesterday, to continue the game, or invent a new one. Finally, another child has become an optimum companion rather than a tolerated one.

But at one, or just two, very unusual.

Yes, a bit like mums at toddler group having a cuppa and chatting with other mums and childminders. And not watching their children carefully enough.

Some people who have worked in nurseries or currently work in nurseries have also shared positive anecdotes but they were ignored by those who are determined that all nurseries are terrible.

No one has denied that some nurseries aren't good enough but some nurseries are also exceptional. Again though, parents who say that are either ignored, simply dismissed with 'well that's just unusual' or told they are just seeing what they want to see.

What makes babies and toddlers especially vulnerable is the fact that they can’t come home and communicate if some nursery worker takes a dislike to them for whatever reason, or if they’re unhappy for whatever reason. And adults taking a like or dislike to certain babies and toddlers (e.g., due to temperament) probably happens a lot more often then we’d like to believe. My DS was quite unsettled due to reflux for the first 6 months or so, and required a lot of soothing to settle. His was not the sort of temperament nursery workers would have gravitated towards, or would have had a lot of patience for. I did, because I was his mother.

Absolutely. We're sold the lies of the modern society that we can and should return to work before our babies can speak and now with rolling out childcare from 9m even more babies will be in nurseries at this vulnerable age. Mothers should be financially supported to not work until 2. Any mother who wants to work should be given better options than a nursery.

What’s really interesting is all the anecdotes from people who have worked in nurseries. It seems really clear that the image portrayed doesn’t match the level of care parents believe their child is getting or expect. That’s so sad. Makes you realise you can do everything right but still be deceived.

Probably the stick they will get from other staff members? Especially if they are young and inexperienced.

I recently viewed an ofsted outstanding nursery that was more like an institution. The baby room was rammed full of babies in bouncers or cots and very young looking staff (school leaver age) This nursery has just been graded as the best but I didn’t see one baby in arms.

How can they possibly know each baby that well when there’s that many?

As someone else said, you’ll get flack for this. Parents whose babies are in nursery from long hours, will find it too challenging and will bite back!

Both these nurseries had been awarded Good grades at their most recent inspections, though Jelly Tots (Oliver Steeper's nursery) had been rated Inadequate in the past.
Yet the evidence coming out in court is that the nurseries were not good. At Tiny Toes, nursery staff have testified that it was badly run.
Ofsted failed to pick up on the problems and hadn't inspected either for a number of years.

The staff at both nurseries had concerns and didn't report those concerns. Was it because they knew Ofsted would simply descend like a sledgehammer, close the nursery and they'd lose their jobs?

There is so much pressure on settings to present themselves as perfect, and that's a result of the current autocratic system of inspection, which is punitive and lacks support. It encourages staff to cover up the flaws instead of reporting them.

I agree, should and could are different. Parents will explain what they are able to do and staff ime follow this, not assume. Children with special needs don't fit the NT mould of expected development.

Had no choice but to put dc in to nursery before a year old. It was hard, I asked lots of questions, could see there were cameras installed and after a few sessions I relaxed more about it and the trust grew. Xx

Thankfully these type events are extremely rare. Usually babies would develop confidence and thrive in a good nursery.
Ive worked in nurseries for many a year, and I noticed that the large chain nurseries are more focused on making money, and less focused on staff and the effect this has on the setting as a whole. In the large nursery chains I’ve worked at they think nothing of continuously adding new starters, staff are stretched to the max trying to settle as many as they can but it’s hard and extremely stressful. The large chains had high staff turn over and often had agency or young relief staff in to make up the numbers. Adding extra pressure to the regular staff that were in. I know this is just my experience and opinion but I’ve worked in three different chain nurseries and all very similar, and extremely corporate. I’d never send my child to one nor would I work in one again.
The private nurseries I’ve worked in have been worlds apart and in my opinion much nicer for staff and the children. Less staff turn over and more time to spend with the children.
The stories in the news are horrible I guess you can get bad staff anywhere, thankfully rarely, but I do think the working environment has an input. I’m not saying she’s not at fault though by any means, she deserves all she gets for what she did! I can’t get over that she was a deputy manager!! Terrible!

I wouldn’t have children just to put them in a nursery. It’s not for me.

I only let mine go to preschool and when they’re old enough to talk so they can tell me if they’re unhappy etc.

But I think you’re right, there’s every reason to be worried.

I couldn't agree more. As an ex-advisory teacher, inspector and assessor of nursery-based practice, I was often disappointed and saddened by the provision for the youngest children in the dozens of nurseries I had dealings with. These baby and toddler rooms were mostly staffed by the younger, less experienced practitioners as no-one really wanted to work in them. I'm not blaming the staff for the poor provision though: they were often understaffed and under-resourced, treated poorly by owners and management, and paid very badly. There were a few little gems that seemed to get it right but they were in the minority.

Mine were 2 years apart and my toddler was so demanding it was really hard keeping them both happy. I basically baby wore my second all the time. It was so tough getting either down for a nap or to sleep (I was by myself the majority of the time). I guess the benefit of nursery for my two year old at the time was all the children were in the same
routine and so their needs aligned rather than competing like by baby and toddler.

If I had two babies like my second child it would have been a breeze!

I’m glad it’s not just I that thinks this!

Oh you were lucky then. My friend had twins. They hardly ever did things at the same time. One would be fussing and the other feeding. Or one be sleeping and the other screaming blue murder. She also had an 18 month old when they were born plus a teenager