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Original poster

To think this is a dumpable offence?

58 replies

musicthroughthewall · 20/05/2024 15:56

Not been with my boyfriend long (3months ish) and last night we went to the pub to meet with my group of friends for the first time (mix of genders as partners are there too).

My boyfriend lives 20 mins from me but wouldn’t have had any reason to come to this area before meeting me. He bumped into an old female friend at the pub who I believe is an ex of one of his friends.

Anyway they both kept going out for a smoke and each time they were out there ages chatting. I felt so embarrassed that he spent more time with her than he did with me and my friends.

For reference my boyfriend isn’t the shy anxious type, so it wasn’t that he was nervous.

OP posts:
Ialwaysdomybest · 20/05/2024 16:08

musicthroughthewall · 20/05/2024 16:07

I wouldn’t have given a shit if it was literally how you are saying it was.

I think we got there about 7ish and left at 10ish. He took at least 2 breaks that I’d guess were 30-40 minutes.

Show quote history

It does sound as though he is more interested in her than you.
At least you've found out early in your relationship.

Original poster
musicthroughthewall · 20/05/2024 16:07

BlondeFool · 20/05/2024 16:01

I think you are the red flag. He's out smoking talking to an old friend 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t have given a shit if it was literally how you are saying it was.

I think we got there about 7ish and left at 10ish. He took at least 2 breaks that I’d guess were 30-40 minutes.

OP posts:
BigPussyEnergy · 20/05/2024 16:04

Ugh, one reason I wouldn’t date a smoker, just sneaking off all the time and interrupting every occasion for their nicotine fix. Whether the smoking of the old friend were the draw only he knows, but it would definitely make me question things.

Original poster
musicthroughthewall · 20/05/2024 16:03

StripedTomatoes · 20/05/2024 16:00

Yes, over-reacting and trying to control who your boyfriend speaks to is a dumpable offence for sure.

I don’t mind who he speaks to.

But I do think it’s rude to be invited to meet my friends and he instead spent the majority of the time away from the group speaking to another woman.

We’re not talking they went for a 10 minute smoke and he came back. I’m saying he was probably with her 70% of the night.

OP posts:
Ialwaysdomybest · 20/05/2024 16:02

Well I'd dump him for the smoking alone as I wouldn't want to be with a smoker.
But yes that was very poor behaviour from him. He obviously wasn't too interested in meeting your friends and he was being very disrespectful to you.

BlondeFool · 20/05/2024 16:01

I think you are the red flag. He's out smoking talking to an old friend 🤷‍♀️

StripedTomatoes · 20/05/2024 16:00

Yes, over-reacting and trying to control who your boyfriend speaks to is a dumpable offence for sure.

Greenflamesburn · 20/05/2024 15:58

Do you smoke? Do your friends smoke?