To think this is a dumpable offence?

I think the dumping will be out of your hands soon anyway. Just a hunch.

I do understand what you’re saying but if you bump into an old friend then you do sometimes get chatting.

And if you’ve been drinking you can easily stay out chatting and smoking for longer than you realise.

This definitely wouldn’t be a dumpable offence IMO.

Yes, he was rude. Basically giving the message that spending time with someone he knew already was preferable to spending it with the people he'd agreed to meet. Even if he was bored silly by your friends manners dictate he put up with it for a few hours. No one would force him to go again. So yes, I'd dump him because I couldn't be doing with someone who had no sense of social etiquette. Always surprising on here the hoops people jump through to excuse a man. Anyone would think they'd declared a shortage and we had to make do with what we could get.

He wasn't even the slightest bit concerned with making a good impression to the people you care about. That speaks volumes.

Add that to the fact he smokes, he should be dumped immediately.

I think maybe they were just not his sort of people and you have found out early enough that you aren't compatible

Leaving HER with a group of strangers? They were her friends not his

That's bullshit, op. I would have found that quite humiliating and my friends would have thought him an arse and nit that into me. He basically spent the evening with the other woman. It's not good enough at all. He is just not keen enough and you're not his priority.

Low effort and a smoker I would dump him. He sounds more interested in the other girl if he was out there for 40 mins taking to her.

I'd dump and move on.

He should have had shorter fag breaks and been straight back with you if he was into you.

It could be that he was just catching up with an old friend but the ignorance of leaving you with a group of strangers so he could do that is just plain out of order.

I don't date smokers.

Yeah that's incredibly rude of him and probably gave a really shitty impression to your friends when you would think he would want to make a good impression. I'd dump him.

It was rude of him, yes. Seems like he was trying to avoid your friends. Have you spoken to him about it?

I agree he found her more interesting than you and your mates and they've got smoking in common. I'd leave them to it, OP, and find someone better.

Very shoddy behaviour.
He was extremely rude and bad mannered.

It would have wound me up to fever-pitch.

I bet you felt completely dropped, because he obviously preferred catching up with her as opposed to being with you and enjoying you and your friends company.

Fuck him off now, because this will be part of a selfish nature.

Yeah, that would piss me off too. The smoking is irrelevant (unless that's a dealbreaker for you). It's the fact he was on a night out with his girlfriend to be introduced to her friends, and spent most of the night disappearing to talk to another woman. You are worth more.

Glad my partner WAS one of my friendship group so didn't have to worry about this. And yeah I personally hate all this groups of couples stuff.

YANBU. Some posters here have very low standards. I would dump him. Don't spend the next however long trying to fight for his attention when he'd rather hang out with another woman.

What did your friends think? Because when DH met my friends he made a huge effort. I think because we were both aware this was an important relationship and he wanted them to like him. The fact that yours didn't is less of a good sign.

Have a chat though, see what he says.

I just think you can’t really like him that much if you can dump him for this.

This would annoy the shit out of me.
If I was in your position I'd probably have a word with him about it and see what his reaction is - that should tell you everything you need to know.

He should have prioritised you and the friends he was there to meet. He should have wanted to! He could meet up with his friends any other time- that night wasn’t about him and his friends.

id have been upset, annoyed and embarrassed I think. Not sure he’s that into you op, bin him off.

I kind of understand where you’re coming from but you can hardly blame him - meeting each other’s friends is the worst. That said, I hate the “couples” scene and I’m just thankful DH and I have separate groups of friends.

Maybe he didn't like your mates much or felt like a spare part but knew you be ok as they were your friends

Did you join them at any point? Just asking as maybe it was just a innocent catch up. My husband is a chatterbox but I can see why if he spent most the night talking to her I don't think I'd be happy. It's not possessive to feel bit put out. I probably would of felt same tbh.

Have you told him how you feel?

I mean if that’s true he spent 3 hours at the pub which includes 2 to 3 smokes of 40 mins each outside smoking , and 70 percent outside then yes it’s dumpabke, but was it really like that, as honestly you read like you’re jealous as it was a woman.