Neighbours daughter

So they both have new Tesla's but can't afford to take their daughter to the fair 🤔
Something doesn't add up here...surely you forgo a car to have more disposable income for your child?

She was rude and the thing about your husband's money was especially nasty.

However, I think you should give the whole only child thing a rest. You're coming across like you've got some kind of saviour complex.

I just know personal experience what it's like to be an only child

I'm only speaking as an only child myself I wish my weekends were full of fun instead of at my aunties house watching tv, where there is nothing wrong with this I just wanted to give her a day out with her friends (my children)

That was your experience. Not every only child has the same experience. I am an only child and my weekends were full of fun and not because some random neighbour rescued me from a terrible fate of sitting at aunties' houses watching TV.
I know you are trying to be kind, but the child is not a charity case who needs rescuing. Maybe the neighbour has subconsciously felt patronized by this and that's why she's pissed off. She's still rude though.

Maybe she felt like a charity case. Perhaps it's not something she would have done.
You aren't wrong by the way, I don the same for my DD's friends.

You have multiple cars, a play room, a cinema room, and you don’t have to work. You’re doing nothing wrong, but the other mum feels like she’s receiving charity. If the relationship isn’t completely f**d (which would be a pity for the girls) reel back on the spending.

Everything at a fair costs money. There is not a single activity that doesn't charge. Did she expect you to take her child and then just make her watch your child have all the fun? If she didn't want you to spend money then she shouldn't have sent her child with you.

I can understand she doesn't like feeling as if you did her a favour but you didn't do anything wrong.

What you just said way way ruder and more aggressive than the OP’s neighbour! So where does that put you on the parental figure leaderboard?

I think you are obviously a very kind person & it’s a shame the other mother was rude. It sounds like you have very different lifestyle & probably parenting styles.

However, you do seem a rather over the top - even on fun days out my DC aren’t given ‘whatever they want’. And if you sent my DC home loaded with fairground plastic tat or one of those huge soft toys I would be very unimpressed!

Don’t take her comments to heart, just keep any play dates a bit more low key.

I wonder if it's more that she is annoyed that OP hasn't invited her and her husband to come along and paid for them

I would still invite girl on occasion, through mom first though. The child should have fun childhood memories when possible. If mom wants to pay you back, she can bake you some cookies.

I shouldn't be spending my husbands money

How very 1950s of her

@LilacK

Agree with this. She's lashed out because both her and her husband work and still can't treat their child like you have done, with neither the time nor the money to do so. Nice for her child to have yours as friends though so it would be a shame if that was lost
Then she needs to learn to be an adult. Adults shouldn't be lashing out because of their insecurities. We teach children not to do this. If you are still doing it as an adult you've kind of failed .

No one was expecting anything other than not to be spoken to rudely.

Cool story

Having a go at the OP for spending her husband’s money?!

Why the fuck are some posters defending that?

Am I the only one who read that the couple have a Tesla each? But they can't afford spending money for their child to go to the fair? Hmmm...

I think you should have told the parents first and don't spend any more money on the child. Clearly you hit a sore spot for the parents

What the actual FUCK! I’d be fuming!!!
your husbands money!???! What!!!!
are we in the 50s again

uhhh screw her.

I know is not fair on the little girl but I would not invite her over or let her in your house. I would continue to let your children mix and play on the street the mother sounds like she has a real problem with you.She let her daughter go to the fair there was no reason to be nasty to you. I would not of been so nice to anyone telling me I should not be spending my husbands money. She could be jealous of you for some reason otherwise she would of spoke politely.

I often take my friend’s 10 yo daughter on days out and ‘girl dates’ to places my friend wouldn't take her due to her financial situation. The girl often says she had the best day ever and my friend is forever grateful and messages me later how much they both love me.
I am not saying that the woman across the street should be sending you messages of love but I am saying that you can be in a worse financial situation and not be a twat and lash out on people who treat your child to nice things every now and again. So yes, it’s nothing to do with her finances, she is just a nasty and jealous woman.
Your husband’s money 🤣

The problem isn't you it's her OP. If they've both got brand new Teslas it's not that they can afford to return the favour it's that they can't be arsed. Your effort with her daughter probably makes her feel a bit guilty and rather than admit it she's blaming you.

No, they haven't written that exactly (I think you may be being very literal in your interpretation....)
But many responses have snapped into 'ungratefullness' attitude, and how rude the woman was, without considering another view. This speaks to the MN expectation that all relationships are transactional, and that gratitude for the merest thing is eeternal

It isn’t husbands money, it’s family money.

She was rude but I suspect she is secretly a bit jealous of you as a seemingly comfortably off sahm.

Sounds like they are struggling financially and their dd is making demands after play dates with your dd.

However, they have chosen to take out heavy loans for two luxury cars so it’s not surprising really. It could be argued they have their priorities wrong and the guilt is there under the surface.

I would continue offering play dates at home for their dd but not take her on family days out.

I can't imagine why anybody would think that was a kindly exchange. If they can afford brand new Teslas each they can afford some candy floss. They are just choosing to prioritise other things. I wouldn't try to explain to her - have you ever heard the expression, "You can't argue with crazy"? Hopefully, left to her own thoughts, she might come round to the view that she was breathtakingly rude and ungracious.

She's rude. I have an only. If I take a friend out I treat the child the same as my own.

Op, your neighbour is rude, you are kind. Don't worry.