To expect 3.5 yr old to use potty alone at night...

She's only just developing this skill. It's not yet secure. It involves quite a few tricky processes.

Night is scary, it feels different. She needs your help.

What if something goes wrong - she misses, the potty tips over - she is far too young to manage/problem solve this.

At 3.5 I would be expecting her to use a toilet not a potty - can she get to the toilet? Then she will be able to wash her hands afterwards.

It is your job as a parent to help her develop these skills. You sound resentful of her childhood needs.

As mentioned previously food should not be used as a reward, especially not at some distant time away - it's illogical to promise ice cream because you have 'made mummy happy by not waking her up and bothering her'.

My mum used to try to have a ten min nap while I watched tv as a kid, and I hated it because when she was asleep I felt like I was alone. And that was in the daytime with me sat on her knee. So I’m the middle of the night in a silent house in the dark, she will probably feel very alone. It won’t last forever but I do think it’s very normal.

You should praise her for waking you up and not just wetting the bed/ nappy!

My 11yo DD still wakes me up if she needs me during the night. Not for the toilet but just a bad dream or whatever.

One time, she helpfully woke me at half past 2 cos in her dream that's when we were meant to be getting up!

At 3.5 she was still climbing into bed with us in the middle of the night for the company 😆

she might be able to do it but she is only little and she wants you. That's all there is to it really.

Night is different to daytime - the house is silent, everywhere else is dark, there are monsters under the bed...

You'll get your full night's sleep eventually, don't worry!

Come on OP use your imagination! It’s dark, it’s quiet, it’s scary, there’s a shadow on the wall/ under the bed/ by the potty, she’s disorientated and on her own and to all intents and purposes to her it might feel like there’s no one in the house. She might also have had a nightmare. But most importantly she’s still incredibly young, I think your expectations are really quite unreasonable and unrealistic. If she’s going back to bed and sleeping for a few hours afterwards and waking with a dry bed then I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

She needs you. Doesn't matter she can do it in the day it's nighttime, pretty scary for a young child, light or not.

I would far rather get up with her knowing she feels abit safer and help towards nighttime dryness.

Yes it's annoying to be woken up in the middle of the night but if my child wants me I want them to be able to have my support. I don't understand why people would want to train that instinct away. I want her to always feel she can turn to me when she's scared or just wants her mum, I don't care if she wakes me up.

The question isn´t mad, it is the expectation. You have asked a question, and I have answered it. You disagree, and that is that.

Also - she will be drowsy and sleepy which makes anything harder

We always got up with ours at night, still do sometimes if we hear them.

You are around during the day if she needs you. If you aren't around and she needs you, what can she do.
Getting up at night when they need you is part of the job. She's better having a good night's sleep in a nappy than a bad night's sleep stressing about using a potty in semi darkness.
My teenager will occasionally call me in the night. It's absolutely normal

I'm surprised at these replies, I would absolutely expect at 3.5 yr old to use the potty at night by themselves. We had a sticker chart for ds and it worked well. It just seemed like it was a habit and was easily broken.

Have you black out blinds on the window in her room?

Has any changes taken place in your household in the past month? Someone new coming or going, even the furniture in a room getting changed.

Has somebody left or come and stayed. Has any extended family member been sick or other event that has taken up your attention recently?

The nighttime is different. It's dark, it's quiet and it's a bit scary.

I wouldn’t expect a 3.5 year old to go to the toilet/potty/wash hands themselves at night. I tell my 3.5 year old to come and wake me if they need me in the night. Bribing with ice cream to not bother me just sets her up for worrying and having an accident and getting more upset. I don’t want to make her think she can’t come to me when she needs help. 3.5 is still so young.

Yeah this. This is the next stage of toilet training.. only one of mine were dry at night at this stage but it has the annoying habit of then waking them up. No they wouldn't manage much alone at night time....so either wear pull ups at night or persist getting up until she is dry all night.

Yes. The night time is an inherently scary place and she needs to connect with you to make sure she is safe.

Shes a baby, yes it's a support thing to want your Mummy in the night rather than doing it alone as though you're an adult.

This is mad. My kid sometimes goes alone but she is 5. There is a massive difference in development. Sometimes she calls out to me to go with her. It is dark, she´s half asleep and she wants her mum. All perfectly natural.

If she needs you, she needs you - I get up to take my 6yo to the loo in the night if she needs to go - she'll go by herself at some point but she wants me to take her so I go. I think you're expecting a lot of a child that age tbh. Hopefully she'll go back to sleeping through soon