To expect 3.5 yr old to use potty alone at night...

You don’t need to worry about forming a habit. It won’t be long before she starts wanting privacy. For now though, she is still very young and even if your presence is just for comfort, it is necessary.

I've just realised that ds was 4.5 not 3.5, he had pull ups at night for ages after he was dry in the day. So we used the sticker chart then.

A little wee in a potty doesn't need emptying immediately.

Children are scared of the dark. That's normal and your job as a parent is to look after them and make them feel safe.

I'm wondering if you were shamed for being scared of the dark when you were younger OP?

I think while they are still using a potty rather than the toilet, I'd want to be there to make sure they aim right and empty it afterwards. In a sleepy haze and dim light surely there's a high chance it might get knocked over or something. Once they can safely get to and use the loo, plus wash their hands after, is when I would hope not to be woken up.

Like someone else said, I'd be pleased to have got to the stage that they were out of nappies and not wetting the bed.

Yabu

She's so little bless her. She'll be sleepy, it's dark, scary....

I don't know anyone who wouldn't get up.

This, it's actually quite sad to read you almost seem annoyed at her for needing you!

Op I do understand you but she is small and if she's waking you then you need to get up. You need to address why she's getting up I think rather then wanting her to get up alone. If she was getting up randomly then I'd say we all do that and that's normal but if it's every night then you need to understand why. I think you need to get rid of the light permanently and remove the drink in her room too. I think you need to understand does she want a drink and a wee just from habit or is there another reason. I'm sure your hv can help you with a plan as well. Maybe move the potty to the bathroom as well so she understands her room is for sleeping not having a drink and a wee but obviously I don't know the logistics of this for you and any other safety aspects of this so only do what's safe.

Surely if you’re using g a potty you’ll have to get up to empty it anyway? If she wakes in the night for a wee encourage her to use the toilet, then over the coming weeks/months encourage her to access the toilet more independently. So, for now go into the bathroom with her then put her back to bed, then wait on the landing, then wait in her room, then just sit in your bed so she knows you’re up and awake. By the time she’s 4 or 5 she’ll have the confidence to use the bathroom at night alone.

It's very normal to be dry at night at that age. She's not too young at all, but it's also normal for it take longer and the child to be older or for there to be set backs along the way too.

I think it's reasonable for her to not feel comfortable at this age. Personally, Id do the dream wee before you go to bed. We did that with DD for a couple of months around this age and it helped a lot.

For me it’s more an issue of safety than her not being able to do it. I go with her to make sure she doesn’t leave the tap on or hurt herself with hot water.

On the bright side though I think some of these replies are too negative - my son certainly wasn't still waking me regularly by 4.

Aw bless her she’s still very wee.

I still call out to my nearly 9 year old to check he’s ok if he gets up for the loo in the middle of the night.

she’s maybe just needing a bit of reassurance

I feel you're getting a bit of a tough time on here, OP. Every child is different, and it's a valid question. My DD was using the potty on her own at night before she turned 3, so it does happen. However, it sounds as though your DD still needs a bit of reassurance, which is ok too.

I know for sure if I told my son to get on with that by himself I would have been risking slops around the potty, or he might have been less willing to get up and use it at all which wouldn't have ended well. Actually I never left a potty out once he was that age - he would have gone to the bathroom, and it was worth escorting him for a bit to get that established.

💯

We used to do a DreamWee about 11pm when we went to bed, which kept them going til morning

3.5 is relatively young to be going dry through the night and waking and managing themselves independently. Even without toileting, it's normal for 3yos to seek their parents if they wake in the night.

My two were 4 & 5.5 when they became dry in the night. One went through a phase of sleepwalking and ending up toileting in the wrong places as the hormonal signals became jumbled.

She's doing well already.

Be prepared for many years of being woken up in the middle of the night OP.
Whilst they are little they absolutely need to feel safe and not alone.
When a bit older they might have a random nightmare, be woken up by a noisy storm, feel sick etc where they need reassurance/help.
Tweens, they might want to come home from a sleepover.
Teenage years there will be than unexpected call for pick up from a party at 1AM for whatever reason. Or you startle yourself awake worrying about where they are.

Why would you expect to ever sleep like you did before having a child, is beyond me. There's no going back now. All that is gone! One eye open and all that. Maybe when all your children are grown up safe and secure in theirs own homes, you might get back to old sleeping habits. By then, you'll be too old to be able to sleep properly. You can't win unfortunately.

Plus it is dark.

My dd used to wake me to help her (didn’t need help in the day time) can’t remember when it stopped but she is 5.5 now and it has been a while. Still wakes me up if she sees a spider though.

The thing is during the day you are obviously there to tip the wee away straight away and give the potty a quick clean. She probably wants the same to happen at night and not to have a potty with wee in it with her for hours. You need to be there for your child.

No, its because they are sleepy, confused and 3.5!