To expect 3.5 yr old to use potty alone at night...

I’m not sure mine would go to the toilet on his own in the middle of the night now actually, and he’s 7 (fortunately never arises).

She’s 3, you are being a bit mean here OP.

Never mind 3. Sometimes I want to nudge my husband awake if I wake up during the night, just to tell him of my plan to wee and get some water 😂.

I don’t, though…

She doesn't really need a wee or a drink.

She needs you.

If all possible wee or drink related needs were dealt with it would be monsters under the bed or worries about something random.

What she needs is her mum reassuring her and making the small hours in the night feel less alone.

3.5 is nowhere near old enough to resettle for more sleep without a grownup. Once she's awake she needs you.

The way back to full nights of sleep is helping her to tell her half-awake and slowly waking-up brain that it's not wakey time yet without the groclock - by the time her eyes are open enough to look at a gro-clock she is awake. It's totally normal to go through sleep cycles of deeper and lighter sleep during the night. Generally people without insomnia issues come half-way up to lighter sleep and sink back down into deeper sleep without being aware of it. That's a brain process still developing in your little one. She'll be ok. She just needs to know so deep down that she's safe and snug and doesn't need to wake up yet, that she knows it even before waking up.

She's just too little op. She still needs you.

Don't stress :) disturbed sleeps may occur for many more years 🤣 mine is 5 and still walks past the bathroom into my room to give me a nudge and say 'I need a wee'. Hears me say 'go for a wee then' and potters back out of the room to the toilet (alone). I have said he can just go... but this appears to be an important part of the wee process 😂

Ignoring her age and ability to use a potty. Think about the message you are conveying to her. You are telling her, that her needs don't matter. From a developmental/psychological point of view it's very mixed message for her to understand. Sometimes you are available but other times you aren't. How does she square that circle, how does she know when you are there for her and when you aren't. If say she was sick during the night, you'd absolutely want to be woken up.

She is very young. She might be frightened in the night. She will be drowsy if she has just woken. I would definitely expect a child that young to wake a parent if she wanted a wee or a drink in the night.

My nearly 4 year old uses the toilet on her own at night and has been for a few months. But she is still little, I think you need to ride this one out. She will get there soon enough.

Im going to brag my son was dry all day and all night from the age of 3 he would sleep all night wake at 6.30ish and pop to the loo never had a wet night since 3 years old.
Bragging over.
However my youngest was almost 8yo before we got dry nights.
But did have the odd accident at 10.
It just takes time for them.

She's going in the day ina house where there are other people.when she wakes up at night she's effectively alone because everyone else is asleep. my boys, same age, will wake me up or come into my room if they wake up in the night because they don't want to be alone. Sometimes they'll toilet alone, sometimes tell me and go alone, sometimes tell me and demand I watch, sometimes are dry all night, sometimes wake with a wet pull up

Surely if they are waking to wee, that means they ARE ready to be out of nappies? It's if they don't wake up, and wee themself, they need a nappy on!

She is still very young, she won't need you forever, but it won't be long before she has no use for you and ignores you. See it as precious time when she wants and needs you. Sounds like you got off lightly. Maybe lift her before sleep time. One day you'll realise she didn't wake you and in time you won't have been woken for a week, and a month...

Just put a nappy on at night if needed what's the rush. Dry at night takes time

If the potty is in her room where is she washing her hands , that is a habit you want to get into

She might be able to manage practically during the day, or even at night, but if they need you, then you fulfil their needs regardless of the time until they don't.

Yours is only 3 so nighttime waking is not uncommon. Mines is 20 and keeps me awake at night for other reasons 😂 but just when you think you've got it cracked they go through stages, at 7-9 years old he went through a stage of not being able to get back to sleep for hours and had an overactive mind/hearing house noises, in his early teens he started sleep walking which was interesting. Late teens there is the going out late drinking/driving (not at the same time!), or now when he is away from home in unknown city which sometimes keeps me awake.

It's just what parents do and by the time you can comfortably say you can sleep and not worry about them anymore, menopausal insomnia hits!!!

Aw - she’s only 3.5! I think you need to get up to her if she needs you. It won’t last forever.

In the nicest possible way, I think you're expecting too much.My 7yo can still call out to me to put her covers on or pass her a drink (from right next to her bed!) despite me asking her to to do it herself. I think it's just their natural ingrained reaction to call out for us on waking up tbh! At least she sleeps well other than that for you.

My child has been potty trained at night since 2yrs 4mo, and has a potty in their room. They are now 3yrs 3mo old.

Only once in that time has DC used the potty alone at "night" (it was about 5.30am so getting light). I think it's unreasonable to expect them to go alone, in my experience.

Also, my child slept through the night until 2yrs 8mo and since then has woken nearly every night at 4am or so before going back to sleep. I believe it was related to DC developing fears/nightmares and awarenesses they hadn't had before. For us it's not related to potty training - maybe for you, your child's fear development and potty training just happened to coincide?

Mine were both dry through the night by 3 but my 6 year old still regularly wakens me at night. Usually it’s just because she’s awake and needs a bit of a cuddle/reassurance. I take her to the toilet then back to bed and all is fine.

It’s quite normal.

! Children need to learn how it feels to need to wee in the night/have a full bladder.

Lots will simply mature and produce enough urine concentrating hormone thar they don't need to wee in the night at all.

Its a big ask to expect a 3.5 year old to go for a wee alone at night when theand a common issue. We found it easier to take ours for a wee when we went to bed at 11 or so, then they don't need another later. Eventually they outgrow waking early.

My 11 year old still calls at night if she needs something.

Just part of being a parent.

Everyone advocating lifting a sleeping child onto the loo to wee is actually offering counterproductive advice that is generally not recommended! Children need to learn how it feels to need to wee in the night/have a full bladder. If you’re just emptying it for them without them being present it will be harder for them to be dry at night.

Sorry, I managed to quote the wrong person!

I meant to quite op.

Cato9lives · Today 11:48
Thanks for everyone's responses so far. I'm just wondering why people are saying 3.5 year olds can't use the potty by themselves in the night when they are capable of doing it by themselves during the day? Is it an emotional support thing?

What do you mean am I for real? Have you quoted the wrong person?