For thinking my parents just aren't bothered about my child?

I bet they got the dates mixed up and now they are too embarrassed or defensive to admit it. That's why they keep brushing you off. It's not that they want to treat you differently they have made a mistake. My mum missed one of my child's early birthdays because she forgot and booked a mini break. She then kept saying oh it's only a birthday which was nonsense because she ALWAYS made a massive fuss of birthdays. Truth was she had got the days/ dates mixed up, was stuck with an expensive mini break she couldn't cancel because she couldn't get a refund, so she, for want of a better term, tried to style it out. Let's put it like this, it never happened again.

Agree with this don't be available just when it suits them. Delay it a day or so say you need some rest.

That would have been a perfect time to pipe up with "how lovely for you and sister I'm so pleased that your so excited about sisters birth shame you won't be there to meet our baby"
Passive aggressive but who cares

You are totally in the right. When your Mother has made such a big deal about the other births; I would feel hurt and angry also x

Your DM attitude is hurtful. I think you need to be less available to them for a while. Perhaps make them wait a little after they come back from their holiday.

I think your overreacting. And it’s Your first child you’ll 99% go over your due date.

That's very hard for you, OP. Most women would be hurt in your shoes, no matter what they say on here. In your shoes, I'd back off from the relationship with your mum for a while, invest your energy elsewhere.

This did seem strange. Do you think she might be projecting her worry about the pregnancy and you into seemingly not worrying? If she was worried about the pregnancy and you from the start maybe she feels she can’t get excited about it if there if more chance of some health issues? Has she had any loss or trauma in the past that might make her distance herself in this way?
All the best with your pregnancy and little bundle of joy when they arrive.

I'd be really upset too. Put it in a text message you your parents- I believe in sharing your feelings especially as YANBU and they will have time to reflect on their behaviour and response to you. I'm sorry- it sounds really crap.

I`m a mum of four, over the top grandma of five, completely agree with you feeling unfairly treated but would advise you to forget about it. Enjoy your pregnancy and your excitement. concentrate on you, your baby and your baby daddy.

I wouldn't dream of booking a holiday anywhere near my daughter's due date. I couldn't relax worrying about her, not all births are straightforward. I have several grandchildren and have been just as excited to meet each one.

I think you are completely valid in how it's made you feel.

Is she the kind of person to voice her do gooding, rather than just doing things for the sake of them?
I'm thinking that maybe at the previous births she just hasn't happened to have wanted to plan a holiday. So she may have already had it in mind to go at a certain time, and the births just happened to not coincide?
In those occasions she could very easily voice the fact that she wouldn't miss the birth for anything, and bathe in the dutiful grandmother look, because she had no intention of going away anyway.

However, for some reason they have now booked a holiday which does coincide with your future birth and so she has to find an alternative narrative. This time it's her being "considerate grandma" and giving you space.
Maybe she's the kind of person who values highly other people's opinions?

If on the other hand she has moved a holiday in the past, but not for you, then yes, that would be more hurtful.

I'd be pleased that, within a few weeks of arriving home with baby, my Mum would be well refreshed and ready to help if I needed.

This is very, very possible OP - awful to see it in those stark terms but a real possibility.

Have you always been the ' lesser' child? My brother was the golden child in our house and I was the 'also-ran' , the scapegoat etc. things were my fault even if I wasn't there!!

If you haven't been 'lesser' up to now then I'd say it is just competitive grandparenting kicking in but if it's part of a wider issue see this as a good wake up call to move forward with less expectation of your DM and more focus on your own new little family - it's a new era just beginning! 🤗💐

I understand why you are upset.

My sister gave birth to my nephew, and my parents were over the moon. Supported her in any way it was possible, emotionally and financially.
I gave birth a year and a half later to my first child, and they reaction was complitely different. Now I'm pregnant again, and even less interest..
They also treat the grandchildren differently.

It is painful. There's nothing I can do. If I try to have a conversation about it, they call me paranoid as they don't see it that way.
We can analyse it and try to figure out the reason why this can be - regardless of the reason, grandparents shouldn't act differently towards grandchildren, and you have a right to be upset.

This happened to us with the birth of our child, I won’t lie it really hurt that he was a month old before he met his grandparents. It really did sting and I know people are saying it’s unreasonable to expect parents to “plan their lives around you” but the birth of your child only happens once. Our second was a Covid baby so no hospital visits at all, we were in hospital for a long time and needed our family. So no advice but I understand how you’re feeling, it does hurt.

Ignore the previous poster, you are a million percent right to be hurt! I’d be exactly the same.

Yep! I would be saying this over and over again until I got some sort of explanation. I can’t stand people acting weird - just bloody tell me!

Tricky when you’re in a family that minimises your feelings though.

What's your partner like vs your sisters partners? Could they have more faith in yours?

My first sister to have a baby has a shit useless partner, so we all went to the hospital when she was having the baby. He actually went missing for a while in the middle of her labour!! The other 2 of us only had our partners with us and nobody questioned in because they knew partners could handle it.

I think youve found your reason OP.

What does she say if you ask her directly - ‘why do you want to be there the minute sisters baby is born but not mine?’

I find a strange contradiction here. You say you’re close to your mother and you want her there because she’ll comfort you and knows all your ‘favourite things’, and yet her behaviour seems to suggest that she doesn’t actually give two hoots and gets defensive at any challenge or criticism which doesn’t seem like something ‘close’ people do. It all sounds a bit wrong and toxic to me.

Why won’t your partner be enough? Why can’t he bring you comfort and why doesn’t he know your favourite things?

I think you’re begging for your mother’s validation because she favours your siblings. I suggest you focus on your own new little family and ignore her power play.

Same!!

I don't see the big deal. It's the newborn phase. More important is their support when you've a toddler running riot with absolutely no sense and heavily pregnant with child 2. Will they step up then you think?

and you are missing the point 🥹