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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not be on board with oral sex

155 replies

Mumoftwinsandasingleton · 19/05/2024 22:37

Long story short- husband finds oral to be the ultimate sex satisfaction. He loves everything about it and would love to release in my mouth.
I've always found the thought of this to be disgusting and very porn inspired (not my thing). I just want to enjoy my partner without him demanding that. He's aware I don't enjoy it and yet I find myself still giving in to his "needs" because during the act he coerces me into it.
I recently listened to a podcast which talked about consent and how a woman may agree to vaginal but not necessarily oral or anal, as it would be classed as rape if she did not consent but you still did it. I brought this up with my husband which didn't go down well. He said that if I love him, I should want to please him in the ways that he likes best.
I feel bad that I'm not at all into oral but it's putting me off sex completely, knowing that there will be the expectation for oral.
I try to please him in other ways via sensual massages and hand jobs, even breast stimulation - but he says it doesn't cut it and that all he wants is my mouth. Would it be unreasonable to completely stop oral until I actually want to do that myself? or should I put the effort in to pleasing him as (admittedly) he's a great father and husband?

OP posts:
ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 19/05/2024 22:43

So his needs trump yours? Surely it should be equal.

Why if he loves you would he expect you to do something that you don't enjoy as part of sex.

AlexaPlaySomeHappyHardcore · 19/05/2024 22:43

or should I put the effort in to pleasing him as (admittedly) he's a great father and husband?

No he isn’t a great husband. I’m struggling to believe he’s a great father either. You literally said he coerces you into a sex act you are not comfortable with and don’t like.

mbosnz · 19/05/2024 22:41

I'd give him the same choice as for dinner - as in, take what I'm offering, or go the fuck without.

If he loves you, he should not be wanting to pressure you into performing sex acts that violate your personal boundaries.

Creep.

AbsolutelyFemale · 19/05/2024 22:38

Gross 😝 what an utter dick

longdistanceclaraclara · 19/05/2024 22:38

I wouldn't have any form of sex with at all.