What if I can’t get on the plane?

Book a hypnotherapy session for tomorrow. Amazing and they can provide you with a recording yo listen to before your return.

https://www.hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwr7ayBhAPEiwA6EIGxDFfMr1BTm5LFicJS21QAOfUbn5FRNozZ2uH7bdqUuBU61F0VJPygBoCFbMQAvD_BwE

It'll probably be fine to swap on the plane, lots of business people fly business class so they're on their own and just want to beaver away on their laptops - they wont want someone trying to chat over them. When I flew with my friend we swapped with 2 different solo travellers to make sure we were comfy and could talk/sleep and not disturb people. Plus you can have some nice champagne as soon as you get on. The pilot also came out to chat which was reassuring (although maybe unusual as it didn't happen on the return leg).

I'd get to the lounge early, have some calming drinks, research the films available beforehand (the airline website will have the list), try and look forward to the experience.
They'll greet you with champagne and the staff ratio to travellers is better in BC so you can tell them you're a nervous traveller.

I doubt this is helpful, but statistically getting in a car is FAR more dangerous than getting on a plane.

I’m glad you can now sit with your friend but you need your own coping protocols: calming music, deep breathing exercises, beta blockers, Rescue Remedy, lucky squirrel etc.

Good news! If this happens again in future, check-in staff will often help if they can, and you can queue to board early then ask your seat neighbours to swap. As long as you don't ask them to move to a worse seat, most people will agree out of niceness/so they don't have to deal with you!
If being with your friend makes a significant difference, it suggests your fear is manageable enough that you could find other ways to get through it too in future, eg stress ball and comforting show downloaded on phone/tablet to replace hand hold and comforting chat. My partner was the same and is now able to fly alone when needed.

This happened to my friend and I. She is a very nervous flyer but does well with a window seat and me or another friend to talk to. Like you the key is to keep occupied. We had separate seats flying back from someplace and the airline couldn't put us together. We asked cabin crew and they were going to try to get us seats together.

In the end we asked the lady with the seat next to my friend if she would mind swapping with me because of my friend's nervousness and she was happy to do so.

So try at the airport as soon as you get there, try with the cabin crew and ask people.

Your friend needs to appreciate that your nervousness is very real and understandable. I hope it works out

Airplanes are fine for the most part.

I wish the air ventilation was a bit better in some of them though

Can you get some otc anti-anxiety remedies, if your GP won't prescribe diazepam? If your GP is willing, I'd really try to get the diazepam though.

The doctor prescribed Valium.. DS took it, {he doesn't drink alcohol} and was zonked for the flight

Which is, in part, why it's no longer prescribed. If you're so sleepy that you're incontinent / don't move around / can't safely get off the plane on landing / can't get up to let anyone passed you if you're middle or aisle seat etc etc, then you're an absolute liability.

Perhaps it depends on the airline but I've flown long-haul many times, BA, Virgin, Tui, Thomas Cook (when they were a thing) and you definitely can pay for the privilege of choosing your seats in advance. I'm going to the Caribbean in August with BA, booked the holiday in November and paid an extra £300 in total to pre-select our seats. I'm travelling with DS13 and wanted to be sure that we are together and have the seats with just 2 in a row rather than 3 so that we don't have to climb over/keep getting up for a stranger. I have to be honest and say that I wouldn't swap if asked.

This would be my suggestion. You could almost certainly take Propranolol 40mg up to 3 times a day.

Valium from your dr. 2mg every 4 hours. And a glass of bubbly.

Good advice. Captain Tom Bunn LCSW of fearofflying.com is helpful.

Glad you got it sorted OP.

I've only done one round-trip in BC and it was fantastic. LHR to Seattle last autumn with BA was great. We didn't manage to get window seats but had 2 together in the centre. When we got to the BC lounge at Heathrow and asked if there was any chance of window seats, the lady tried really hard to swap but couldn't. DH actually was rear-facing; we could drop the screens and chat for a while. The flight was mid-morning and after lunch, they did darken the windows and turn off the lights - it was a Dreamliner so crew can do that. After all the free alcohol, I took advantage of the bed and had a good sleep. The crew were lovely. I hope you have a fabulous time.

Also, to those disputing the cabin lights going off, when DD flew to Tokyo in 2022 departing around noon, the lights were dimmed after the first meal was served. She was WhatsApping from the plane saying it was night, but she was flying over Greenland and it was definitely daytime. DH pointed out about the windows dimming, something she hadn't encountered before.

Alcohol is definitely a pain on flights- or rather..Drunks.

You might ask your GP if you can take more propanolol on the day- 10mg is a tiny amount. My daughter takes 60mg twice a day for anxiety.

I'm surprised at people advising alcohol as well..{Maybe that is why there can sometimes be belligerent drunks on planes?}

A Valium alone is plenty.

Diazepam or 2 x antihistamines plus gin.

I fly ultra long haul between UK and Aus/NZ regularly both economy, business and First. I can categorically say that ex Dubai to SYD or AKL on 12-16 hour flights, irrespective of the light outside, the cabin falls to darkness within 3 hours of departure. Cabin crew will insist on shades down on an A380 or the Dreamliner they auto dim the windows.

Medium long haul eg LON to SFO or Singapore they usually keep with the daylight/night outside rhythm.

As for people saying ''You won't get sedatives from GP''..they can and do prescribe a very few for air travel.

They are addictive, hence reluctance, but a couple won't cause addiction.

@Northerngirl345 My son was so terrified of flying that even the thought of it made him need to rush to the loo.

He had to fly from LHR {London Heathrow} to New Zealand for their ''Year out''

The doctor prescribed Valium.. DS took it, {he doesn't drink alcohol} and was zonked for the flight.

His partner took a pic on the long haul flight... they basically had the plane to themselves!! loads of room to stretch out ..Cabin Crew suggested it.

But the Long Haul cured DS {so far at least! }of his very real fear of flying.

Once you have done LH, you can face anything .

Have a lovely time, Northern girl.

I was terrified of flying for years (particularly take-off). My daughter send me this video explaining what all the scary noises are. It has really helped! I hope it may help you too. https://www.tiktok.com/@riyadhkhalaf/video/7347818941085011232

I feel for you, I absolutely hate flying. I tend to pop on my headphones, close my eyes and pretend I'm anywhere else!

When booking on line, you can do seat select immediately.

I hated flying Op and my GP wouldn't prescribe anything. I've found 3 things have helped...
Try and fly as much as possible, I know this isn't always practical, but look for shorter city breaks, I flew 6 times in one year and it really helped. Feel the fear and do it anyway type of vibe.
This book also really helped reframe things for me, you essentially invite the anxiety... and it really works! I've suffered on and off for 20 years and have read 20+ books, this is the one that helped the most... https://amzn.eu/d/iQeKsgj
Wine! Just 2 glasses if I am feeling nervous still and I'm fine, don't need to get drunk but a couple of drinks to take the edge off.