What if I can’t get on the plane?

For future reference I attended the easyJet fear of flying course and thought it was pretty good. I also purchased the lifetime use of the videos/audio and whilst I haven’t used them in flight yet, I make sure I have them if needed.

https://www.newsweek.com/woman-jelly-trick-cured-fear-flying-15-million-views-1716464

I saw that link on a post last night about someone's fear of flying and the amount of praise it has got is unbelievable. Worth having a look at to see if it helps you with your fear

Remember the captain and the crew fly every day (and probably have done for years!) and they're all still alive and well :)

I’m so sorry you feel this way, i really can sympathise, im an awful flyer myself!
have you considered any medication from your GP?
I never liked the idea of taking tablets but for flying my GP will always give some diazepam to help with my anxiety. I feel my concentration can’t never let me read or focus on books, but how do you feel about puzzle books? I always find Sudoku take my mind of it!
One thing I would say - don’t let your fear of flying stand in the way of many adventures and discovering new places, have no regrets!

I hate flying- what works for me is having a few drinks before I go on the plane, and I know it sounds silly but I look at the cabin crew and try to keep thinking they do this every day this is no big deal for them- it weirdly helps.

When my mum flew to vegas the doctor gave her diazepam and she slept most of it- she was terrified of flying.

If you do call AA they are really helpful. They even serve pizza on some flights :) business class is great. Don’t drink too much beforehand!

You might like to start your own thread.

Also, bring a stress ball and squeeze it.

YABU -

Get a prescription for two lorazepam from your doctor, one for your outbound flight and one for the return. Or buy some benalyn, nytol or sleepeaze, and pop one as soon as you board. You'll soon feel more relaxed. Don't drink any alcohol if you choose medication.

Can you get a small prescription of Xanax from your doctor before you go? I have the smallest dose possible, take one pill an hour before the flight and another on board. It usually means I sleep for the duration but it completely gets rid of anxiety (and vomiting in my case).

You should be able to get your AA booking reference so that you can go into AA.com and see seat selection. You probably want to do this now for the way home (assuming you aren't moving to the US) and get those seats sorted ASAP. You need to select seats via AA not BA.

This - the more modern the cabin the less likely you are actually “next” to someone in business

Agree with PP on letting the staff know you are nervous and ask at check-in for close seats - depending on the route if it is a more “work/business” trip most other people will be travelling alone and on their own autopilot routine

Flying business class means you get to use the lounge before which is v relaxing but make sure you allow time to get to your gate!

The AA amentity bag is v cute and has the most wonderful lip balm

about 15 years ago me, our fmaily inc one of our kids that is married went to the USA - at heatrow on the plane I was wondering why we saw people in yellow jackets walk to the back of the plane along with the pilot and cabin crew - this woman had fear of flying - we were lucky as she and her oh came off the palnce as they were able to remove their bags with about a 30 min delay only

I fear flying during the last 20 years or not sure why by my family tells me to stop watching those aircraft accident shows on tv

I loved to fly when younger not sure what has happened

the takeoff and preparing to land are the worst bits - the last time I was on a plane coming back from asia - our ruddy plane took off into a hailstrom - it was like a scary movie and even my OH and DiL was scared - it carried on fro a good hour we though we'd return to the airport we took off - nothing from the pilots as I guess their were busy flying and it was only when the flight attendants came out of their seats gave me a restful mind - but then the captin stated to expect more bad weather but we were lucky

OP, have a small drink before you get onboard - good luck

I have been on various BC flights with many different airlines. BA do charge for selecting your seats but I havent come across MIDDLE seats on BC other than a very few airlines who have very very old BC set up.

Based on the OP's subsequent posts, I don't think she means "middle seat" in terms of a seat with two immediate neighbours but, rather, "middle seats" as in the seats between the two aisles on a wide body plane (she refers to them as "seats not against the windows").

Diazepam from the doctors

Your not being unreasonable, you don't like flying, alot of people don't, but it would be a shame to miss out on the trip too. If you can move the dates without incurring costs I would prob look into that

I was given diazepam recently for back pain, have kept it up my sleeve for my summer holiday.

I hate flying as much as you OP but I’ve had to sit on my own many times when my kids were young. They’d sit on a row with their dad and I’d sit separately (knowing if there were any issues their dad would be far calmer than me). I didn’t like it but I just had to suck it up for the sake of others.

Talk to your GP.

I have been on various BC flights with many different airlines. BA do charge for selecting your seats but I havent come across MIDDLE seats on BC other than a very few airlines who have very very old BC set up.

Could you give us the airline please. I am hoping its not something like Thomas Cook or TUI extra leg room type seats.

If you tell us the airline myself and others might be able to advise. Emirates and Qatar have a fab lounge at the back of the plane. Feel like a film star when I fly with them.

I echo the hypnotherapy advice.

I had hypnotherapy for a different phobia and it was so helpful.

I used to be a bit of a nervous flyer and I got over it by first of all going into denial about where I am - I never look out of the window and pretend I'm on a bus. I also read on my Kindle as soon as I sit down and make sure it's a real page-turner that I can concentrate on. Times when I might feel a bit nervy, I always look at the air stewards because they are always so casual about everything. Have a great time!

I am also a terrible flyer, so I tend to fly BC or first. I’ve flown on my own a few times (lots of anxiety and tears) and I’ve found the cabin crew are amazing. It might be that you can swap on board, you might even be able to sit with the cabin crew (yep, I’ve been that person)! Don’t forgo your holiday, you will be gutted and possibly lose a friend. Also be careful about being too anxious as they might not let you on the plane if they are worried about you. If you can’t get seats together, have a glass of champagne, put on some very good noise cancelling headphones (honestly- these are the best to distract you), maybe a comfortable audiobook (my go-to on flights is Harry Potter!) and chill back. I also find that if I’m by a window, I like to the film the take off on time lapse. It means you have to stay really still, and really focussed. It’s weird but it helps me so much. You’ll film for about 20 mins, at which point the seatbelt sign will turn off and the drinks will turn up. All the best, and please know you’re not alone in this fear.

sorry, final point, I read “Flying with Confidence” (British Airways) years ago and it really helped me with the flight immediately afterwards, and for a few years after. Unfortunately the Covid years meant that the break in flying for me pushed me back to square one. Anyway, hey ho!!!