Are you reluctant to invite people to your house, in case they're jealous ?

My grandmother was the type of person your friends were trying to avoid, OP. She was pretty nasty about people who lived well. Made some very rude comments about my PiL’s when I got married after she was invited around for a family get together.

She had a pretty hard life but did well for herself so I’m not sure what it was all about, but it was really sad and not nice to be around.

I’m so sleep deprived I actually thought this was a new decor thing that I’ve missed and googled ‘crushed Ella k puff pattern in banana’ 😂

Now I’ve thought about it I don’t think I even like it when people come to the door. I might need a new house where the neighbours are all far away.

No. I’m reluctant to invite people in because I don’t really like people and I’m afraid they will stay!

I have a nice house though, and cool stuff. I like it better without guests.

@orchidmummy yes I don't like to show people where I live. My brother invited his friend once and the friend's attitude completely change towards him. Trades people like to over charge you as well because they think you can afford it.

I once had a friend visit. She brought her best friend who hadn't been to my house along. The best friend decided to grab my friend's arm in my living room and said let's race. She then ran up and down my living room holding my friends arm. It was the most bizarre thing. The best friend lived in a very small council house (I have been before). We were in sixth form at the time so she was old enough to know better.

I wanted to invite my uni friends to my house but it never materialised. I realised it was the for the best as they seemed like very jealous people. What's interesting is that they had rich cousins. One of their cousins married a cricketer and lived in a mansion. But what I've realised is that they weren't friends to begin with.

My house is larger than most homes but I wouldn't say we live a lavish lifestyle. Most of house is falling apart and needs to be re done. But mainly people see how large our living room and kitchen is. It's a detached house on a private road.

My aunt lives in a modest house. What people don't realise is that she is a millionaire much richer than my family. She wasn't always rich and decided not to upsize. She doesn't tell friends/relatives what their jobs are. I wish my parents did the same because I feel it's caused lots of problems when people see the size of our house.

Ultimately jealousy is a natural emotion but it shouldn't mean we treat others badly because they have more money than us.

On a slightly different angle i still remember a girl starting secondary school when we were about 13 and she fitted straight in with my friendship group. A month or 2 later she invited some of us to her house. We all jumped on her school bus home expecting a 3 bed semi like we generally all lived in l, but her house was practically a stately home with a half mile long driveway, parkland, indoor and outdoor pools, squash and tennis courts, stables, even an indoor riding arena. We were so shocked as nothing she had mentioned or the way she dressed, spoke or behaved suggested she was any different to us. I wonder if she felt apprehensive inviting us round that first time.

My house is tiny and needs a lot of updating. We're pretty lazy and also enjoy family time more than decorating.

None of this speaks to how well off we are or aren't. We like our area and our house and the lifestyle it gives us because of what money is left over after paying for the house.

My uncle on the other hand is the flashiest person around. He LOVES to be flash and show off what he's got. Which, by the way, is nothing. But the way he behaves and lives is as if he has everything.

So I would never go round to anyone's house and be jealous of how well off they are. Because you don't know that purely from their house and decor.

Yes, big time. Quite a few people have stopped talking to me after finding out that we have a downstairs toilet.

Yes - as a child and now as an adult with my own house.

As a kid, I remember having a play date and then a while later we gave my friend a lift back after school to hers (we both went to the same private school) and she was nervously giggling saying "I don't want you to see my house because it's so small ahahahaha". It was just so awkward and sad.

As an adult, you realise how much the green eyed monster comes out. It can make others uncomfortable and I just CBA with snide remarks or face pulling when they either obviously go look up what we paid or come round and see it.

I’d be jealous, my life goal is to live in a witchy house. 🧙

Ha no I don't invite people around without good notice because it takes me at least a day to sort out the toys/washing airers etc! I definitely don't live in a show home!

I have some friends who have big houses they are lovely and they host the parties as they have the space 😂 we take a dish and a bottle around!

I am conscious of how certain people feel when they visit my house, 2 members of my lovely family who are not very financially well off and live in rented accommodation and who will never be in a position to buy (well not until I pop my clogs as I have left them 50% each of my house in my will) I feel a bit guilty for living in a house they could never achieve, I just don’t want them to feel down about their situation as I know they would love to afford to buy a nice house.

Not my house, no. Most people I know have similar, fairly average houses.

I did make the mistake of telling someone I was excited that I’d paying off my mortgage soon. She was very put out and I was quite surprised as she’s always had very expensive taste and seems to be doing very well for herself.

If I get that vibe, I refuse to lower the drawbridge.

I’ll bite, OP, because I have actually experienced these feelings before. We are well off enough to afford a nice and large(ish) house and have a nanny, we could afford private school but don’t because we don’t agree with them. I have worried before that having a nanny makes the other parents at school think differently of us, and I also wonder what they think of our house if they come for play dates – in an uncomfortable way because I worry they think they can’t relate to us or something like that.

It may sound stupid (or braggy) to think about those things, but it comes from a place of worry. I don’t have many friends due to moving a couple of times and working full time and I worry other school mums think I don’t ’fit in’.

lol!

No. My house is nothing too remarkable, but it's mine and it's paid for.

When I moved to nice house in London I knew some people may think differently about me.
I hosted everyone who was interested in comming to see me and my family (or have free stay in London). In my mind I don't want to asume how somwone will react.

No one complained but I am also they type that shops in Asda, drinks Stella and gets children dressed at Pepco and Primark. So you quickly see I am really not bothered or changed. Still on good tearms with everyone who visited.

It may be different if I bought 20mil estate but ther is no such enormous gap between me and my friends.

My parents were a little bit like this - thought people were jealous of their wealth . They were horrible vile people but yes thought others would be jealous .

i live in HA rented house ( disowned many years ago .) no one would be jealous however I would sooner my life now that theirs

😂 I live in a big 300 year old cottage. It's absolutely lovely but quirky as hell (two staircases, tiny doorways, witch marks, uneven everything) and certainly wouldn't be to everyone's taste. It's a labour of love for us and it looks gorgeous (in my eyes) but I certainly wouldn't think anyone would be jealous. It's definitely not the instagram perfect, all white ultra modern home.

I think the house is this one...

Holmwood house.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/house-prices/details/england-137618906-49566384?s=340d30ae6b000b707de17437f707c731418f615fb97665c926e3ffc60ab9107c#/

Lovely girl..She bought me a china Beswick Arab foal for my 11th Birthday.

I couldn’t care less, my friend had a lovely house and kids go to private school. I take the mick with them, joke when we got a party bag that I expecting little gold bars.

I had a similar response, but in terms of what jobs we had. The NCT lot refused to really speak to me when I didn't have a career, but soon changed their tune when they found out where we lived/husband's job. Stopped associating with them. I like people who aren't all about jobs etc.

Not because I think they'd be jealous, but because I've been burned before with other people's horrific children rifling through all my things/certain people who just wouldn't leave/other people's kids breaking my children's things....now, we only have the most trusted people over.

When I first enquired about joining our local NCT group I didn't feel especially welcome if I'm being honest. I didn't dress in the typical NCT Boden uniform and admitted to thinking that formula wasn't necessarily the drink of Satan. But when several members of the group realised which was our house in the village they were noticeably warmer and more friendly. I didn't stay long in that group unsurprisingly.